Move Over AY, Here Comes 100 Days in London!

With Reno Omokri

President Muhammadu Buhari has done a great injustice to himself with the types of media aides he has surrounded himself with. They are some of the most inept bunch who perhaps think that their job is to alienate Nigerians from their boss.

Or what else would you call the madness from President Muhammadu Buhari’s spokesman accusing former President Goodluck Jonathan of causing the death of Dora Akinyuli? See what you get for making such a person your spokeswoman? How do they expect the family of the late Mrs. Akinyuli to feel?

Must they spit on the grave of a patriot in order to achieve their demonic propaganda? A government that killed 347 Shiite men, women, children and infant is so desperate to label Jonathan the killer of Dora Akinyuli!
And the sad thing is that the President and his presidency appear to acquiesce to this type of boorish behaviour because they do not seem to call these morally challenged individuals to order.

Quite frankly, I have given up on the Buhari administration. The other day it was reported that the President called President Ernest Koroma to sympathise with him over the mudslide in Sierra Leone which killed many people. Coincidentally, the next day there was a suicide bombing in Maiduguri. Sadly, even as I write this, the President has not deemed it fit to issue a statement, or to address the nation or even to somehow sympathise with us.

Is President Muhammadu Buhari our foreign minister that he cares more about what happens in Sierra Leone than about what happens in Nigeria? I understand that suicide bombings are now so frequent in the new improved federal republic of Nigeria under President Buhari but does that mean that our President should ignore them?
President Muhammadu Buhari speaks to those that are important to him, viz. his family, friends, aides, party members, etc. Why has he not spoken to Nigerian citizens? Because we are not important to him!
You doubt me? Okay, he called to give condolences to Osun State Governor, Rauf Aregbesola over the loss of his mother, right? Okay, who did he call when Boko Haram kidnapped a group of Nigerian policewomen? Or when Boko Haram killed 69 people last month including Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation officials and University of Maiduguri staff prospecting for oil in Lake Chad at the President’s orders? In other nations, when such a thing happens, the President gives a national broadcast from wherever he is. Did that happen here? Again I conclude that President Buhari only speaks to those that are important to him!

And the sad thing is that while Nigeria is reeling from lack of care from the President, his aides are busy taunting us with their chicanery knowing that we can do nothing against them since they have been left to their own devices.

Not only did President Buhari appoint as PA a woman in her sixties who insulted then President Jonathan as he was praying to God, calling him “stupid” and “useless” (how depraved do you have to be to insult someone who is kneeling to pray to God), this woman now continues her insult spree by saying Jonathan ought to crawl on his knees from Otuoke to Kaura Namoda to beg Nigerians for forgiveness!

Really?
What Team Buhari has failed to understand is that it is easier to manage an economy than it is to manage lies. Imagine the ridiculousness of asking former President Goodluck Jonathan to crawl from Otuoke to Kaura Namoda to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness from who? From President Muhammadu Buhari who said ‘Abacha did not steal’?

Let me tell you what exists between Otuoke and Kaura Namoda -165 almajiri schools built for talakawa that were never ever cared for until the man from Otuoke became President. Nigeria’s economy thrived under Jonathan because he relied on proper agenda, but it has collapsed under Buhari because he relies on propaganda! No wonder he has 6 media aides and no Chief Economic Adviser!
That is why Garba Shehu has the guts to say #ResumeorResign protesters are jobless.

Really! Who is more jobless between Charles Oputa and a President resident in London 101 days? For many years, Nigerians have known Charly Boy as a music mogul. What business has President Muhammadu Buhari been known for other than coups, serving Abacha (Nigeria’s biggest thief) and making hate speeches?
Charly Boy may be part of President Buhari’s 5% that shouldn’t expect the same treatment as his 97% (Buhari said it, not me), but he is by far more gainfully employed than President Buhari and his boy, Garba Shehu!

And to those who still believe in President Muhammadu Buhari, please consider these facts. He is resident in London. His kids school in London. His wife shops in London. You may believe in President Buhari, but the overwhelming evidence is that he does not believe in you!

If he really believed in you, he would not have made this comment to the Telegraph of London on the 5th of February, 2016: “Some Nigerians claim is that life is too difficult back home, but they have also made it difficult for Europeans and Americans to accept them because of the number of Nigerians in prisons all over the world accused of drug trafficking or human trafficking.” So let me ask you again, do you still believe in President Muhammadu Buhari?
Nigerians should note that according to the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics (that is controlled by the Buhari Administration, under this present government, N400 billion in bribe was paid in just 1 year! Sai Baba! Changi dole!

And why won’t that happen? Look at the difference between Jonathan and Buhari. In his first year, Goodluck Jonathan gave Katsina a Federal University. In his first year, President Muhammadu Buhari gave Katsina a helipad. You see, the truth is staring Nigeria right in the face. Jonathan thinks of the people. Buhari thinks of only himself. This is evidence-based, not opinion-based.
At this juncture, let me also commend President Muhammadu Buhari’s media team for ‘going to London to see the Queen’ as the famous nursery rhyme goes.

But, pray, did you also notice the contradiction between what the leader of the media crew (Lai Mohammed) that visited the President at Abuja House said and what the President said?
On Saturday the 12th of August, 2017 in London Nigerians heard two statements contradicting each other! It went thus: President Buhari: “I have learnt to obey my doctors’ orders rather than being the one issuing the orders. Here, the doctors are absolutely in charge.”
Lai Mohammed: “Mr. President is very much back. He is very healthy.”
Lai Mohammed when will you start fearing God and learn to be truthful? How can the President be “very healthy” when the doctors are not even permitting him to return back to his duties after over 100 days!
And to further expose the hypocrisy of President Buhari’s media team, consider this tweet from his Special Assistant on Digital Communications, Tolu Ogunlesi, tweeted on the 16th of April 2011:
“@araisokun We lost a lot to the Yar’Adua era. Between his illness and the bandits who ruled from behind the scenes, Nigeria ran backwards”
All you have to do is replace Yar’adua with Buhari in the tweet above.
And he tweeted another even more damning tweet on the 6th of September, 2012: “remember u pple WANT TO SEE LATE PRESIDENT YAR’ADUA on his sick bed.now u ar advocating privacy for patience [J].let show her on live TV”

The people who were advocating that the Jonathan administration must show Dame Patience live on TV are today saying President Buhari is a “private citizen”. Issorai!
And since President Buhari’s media aides think it is sport to ridicule the man who rekindled Nigeria and Africa’s hope in democracy, let me also return the favour.
Move over AY COMEDIAN! My new movie 100 DAYS IN LONDON is set to break 30 Days in Atlanta’s record as Nigeria’s highest-grossing movie of all time!

Based on a true story, the movie features a hypocrite who on the 27th of April, 2016, banned government officials from going for medical tourism abroad at government expense yet ended up being the main culprit of a malaise he complained about. I have not yet decided who will play the lead role, but I am considering casting an anti-corruption crusader who chose to hire 11 SANs rather than show his school leaving certificate or proof that he had one. Watch this space for further details!

Reno’s Nuggets
As a husband, the most important thing you can do to help your children succeed is to love their mother, not your side chick. All side chicks are agents of satan sent to destroy your destiny. Like bait in rat traps, if you eat them you will be destroyed. Women who teach their daughters to slay are raising future side chicks. Train your daughters to succeed in marriage and life. #RenosNuggets.