Understanding Your ‘Angry’ Teenager

Teacher’s Diary

World politics, strained inter-national relationships, waring religions and racial differences, natural disasters, wars and terrorist attacks, unfair incarcerations and abductions, abuses in all its facades – all of these and many more make life challenging for adults as it were. Indeed, it is difficult (but possible) to always be positive.

For teenagers, the prospect of the many more years laid out in front of them must be daunting. In developing countries like our own, the majority of teenaged Nigerian children are forced to grow up long before it’s time. This is evidenced by the weighty daily responsibilities our youngsters bear. Such responsibilities range from fending for their younger siblings, sponsoring their own education, to challenges like fending off sexual abuse, emotional abuse and other vices.

Teenagers handle adversity differently. Some are quick to build a defensive wall around them when they’re faced with confrontation. Many others lash out, become reckless and sadly die too young. Inwardly, teenagers are a bundle of charging hormones. Psychologically, they are in the process of resolving their own emotions and coming to terms with their changing roles. They are trying to modify their physical appearance to ‘fit in’ whilst they are in the process of developing a comfortable self-image.

Little wonder then that teenagers seem often compelled to be defensive and at times raucous. Teenagers are not always thoughtful and compassionate individuals. They are constantly in competition and jealousy is a huge factor. The fight to always be number one is not uncommon in the teenage world.

Developing an anger management plan-of-action for a teenager should be done with him/her. It need not be stiff or confrontational. Such a programme should be tailored to the realities of the teenager’s social environment. In order for the anger management plan to be successful, an individualised programme must be designed that would reach the targeted challenging behaviour without being overbearing.

However, do remember that most teens would be difficult as they tend to be quick to resist advice and are not always compliant with instructions. Convincing a teenager that they have behavioural issues which need attention may be a challenge itself. However, you must persevere as it is essential to make them understand the importance of making a change. You must persevere too because it is essential for you to establish boundaries that your teenager may not cross.