Buhari, Show Us Your Certificate

Nothing could prepare me for the shock that greeted me when I opened the dailies on Friday, October 26, 2018. Right there on the front-page headlines of my beloved THISDAY was the news that President Buhari, again, could not present his West African School Certificate Examination certificate because the original is with the army.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! That lame excuse could hardly suffice in 2015 when President Jonathan was the Commander-in-Chief of the Army, but it is certainly an untenable excuse today!

How on earth could Buhari again tell the Independent National Electoral Commission that his certificate is with the army. Who controls the army as Commander-in-Chief? Is it not Buhari? We have seen the evidence of certificate less leadership. We will not accept that excuse in 2018 or 2019.
The candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party, His Excellency, Atiku Abubakar, has produced his certificate to INEC, while the All Progressive Congress’s candidate, President Muhammadu Buhari has produced his excuse to INEC. By their actions, you will know who is prepared to govern for the next four years and who is prepared to make excuses for the next 4 years. Nigerians will not be fooled again.

What kind of country has Buhari turned Nigeria into? Nigerian youths, who Buhari called lazy, need to present certificates before they can serve in the National Youth Service Corp, yet Muhammadu Buhari does not need to present a certificate before he can be President and we are wondering why we are the world headquarters for extreme poverty?
Other than the 11 million jobs he lost, the only jobs that Buhari could create in almost four years were the jobs he gave the thirteen SANs that he engaged to go to court to prevent him from presenting his certificate to Nigerians. Now he is telling INEC a cock and bull story!
Which company or business will give you a job if you tell them that your certificate is with your child? Who controls your child if not you? The Nigerian Army is Muhammadu Buhari’s child. If the certificate really existed, Buhari would have collected it rather than come up with this tales by moonlight about it being with the army. How can the Commander-in-Chief of the army claim that his certificate is with the army?

CERTIFICATELESS
LIFELESS
CLUELESS
Only one name fits all three categories, yet that fellow wants to preside over the people who have the highest educational qualifications of any African nation? How are the mighty fallen.
And the sad thing is that in this same paper, there is a headline with the caption ‘Buhari: I’m very disappointed in the Nigerian media’. How can the man who led Nigeria to her first recession in 25 years, the man who led Nigeria into being the world headquarters for extreme poverty, the man who destroyed the Naira’s value, say he is “disappointed in the Nigerian media”. Who should be disappointed in who?
Nigerians should not be deceived. Those around Buhari know that he has nothing to offer Even Festus (Stephanie Otobo) Keyamo knows for a fact that Buhari and the APC are not the best for Nigerians. None of those around Buhari believe in him. This includes Buhari’s own wife and his protege Nasir Elrufai.
In a January 4, 2018 interview with Sahara TV, Festus Keyamo said:

“Am I here to think that the APC is the best thing to happen to Nigeria? I will be a fool to say so. Am I here to say that there are no thieves within the APC? I will be a fool to say so. Will I be here to defend APC as the purest political party and the cure to all we have been looking for? No.”
Nasir El-Rufai knows his lord and master very well. On October 4, 2010, El-Rufai warned Nigerians not to vote for Muhammadu Buhari, saying as follows:

“El-Rufai wishes to remind General Buhari that he has remained perpetually unelectable because his record as military head of state, and afterwards, is a warning that many Nigerians have wisely heeded. His insensitivity to Nigeria’s diversity and his parochial focus are already well-known. In 1984, Buhari allowed 53 suitcases belonging to his ADC’s father to enter Nigeria unchecked at a time the country was exchanging old currency for new. Against all canons of legal decency, he used retroactive laws to execute three young men for drug-peddling after they were convicted by a military tribunal and not regular courts of law. Buhari was so high handed that he gave himself and his officials immunity even from truthful reporting. That obnoxious Decree 4, against which truth was no defence, was used to jail journalists and attempt to cow the media as a whole. That tyrannical legislation shows the essence of his intolerance. These are facts of recent history.”

Even his wife knows the type of husband she married and his limited intellectual capacity. She said as much on October 14, 2016 when she said as follows:
“I have decided as his wife, that if things continue like this up to 2019, I will not go out and campaign again and ask any woman to vote like I did before. I will never do it again.”
So if those around him have rejected him, Nigerians should waste no time to reject the certificate-less one. You can rule over 150 cows without a certificate, but you cannot govern 190 million Nigerians without evidence that you are learned.

Reno’s Nuggets
The fastest way to lose friends is to lend them money. To identify true friends, don’t lend any friend money the very first time they ask. When you say no to request to their loan requests, your fake friends will stop being your friend. No more calls. No more hanging out. But your real friends will continue being your friends. Make a note of them. Those are the friends it is safe to lend money to #RenosNuggets

Reno’s Darts
Lai Mohammed went to Chatham House in London to say “we don’t need to do anything extra because we have delivered on all our promises and Nigerians are quite happy and satisfied with the government”. It is certainly not a coincidence that this fellow is named Lai. He was born to lie! #RenosDarts

Reno Omokri
Bestselling author of Facts Versus Fiction: The True Story of the Jonathan Years, and other books. Avid traveller. Tormentor of the APC.