‘PLEASE PRAY FOR ME’

George Ehusani asks for support as he marks 40 years of priesthood

As I reflect with immense gratitude on my priestly vocation today, I request for your support, dear friends and fellow travellers, as I ask the good Lord – who has seen me through these last 40 extremely busy and often restless years – to grant me a new insight, to endow me with a fresh perception and to let me come by a wholesome discovery, of my true self that is hidden with God in Christ.

I ask the Lord to grant me the grace of inner transformation; to give me a new heart, a new spirit, and a new soul, as I recall the day of my ordination and rededicate myself today to privileged service at his altar. I realise that I have often done too much in these last 40 years of my priestly ministry. Yes, I admit before you all today that in my grandiose illusion and presumptuousness, I have often carried on as if all it takes for the world to be transformed for Christ is for me to work even harder, undertaking ever more innovative programmes and projects, most of which I have executed with extraordinary zeal and unusual passion, and ending up on many occasions with frustration and discontent, over what I often perceived as failure in results.

As I arrive at this landmark of 40 years today, restless and breathless, like Elijah in the desert, I ask the good Lord to quieten my agitated nerves, to hush my troubled heart, and to calm down my perturbed spirit. I ask the Lord to grant me the inner peace that surpasses understanding; that peace which He has promised to endow the faithful with, even as we go through such precarious circumstances as we are confronted with in our country today. I ask the Lord to slow me down and let me hear His soothing voice in the inner recesses of my soul. I ask the Lord to help me to appreciate today the truth I should have comprehended long ago, that I am not the messiah he has sent into the world; that it does not all depend on me; and that in fact I can do only very little.

I ask the Lord to help me embrace in the inner recesses of my soul, what I know only too well in my head, that He is the Overarching Controller of the universe; that His plan for me and for the whole universe is for good and not for ill; and that all appearances to the contrary notwithstanding, light will eventually outshine darkness and love will ultimately triumph over hate, in my life, in the lives of my brothers and sisters, and in the life of my country, which is today thoroughly challenged by executive profligacy and brigandage on the one hand, and popular criminality and idiocy on the other. I ask the Lord to help me embrace deep in the recesses of my heart another truth that I know only too well in my head, namely, that the God we serve, the God of Jesus Christ, is a God of surprises, and that as St. Paul says, He has a way of turning all things unto good – yes He has a way of bringing utmost good out of the worst circumstances and tragedies of the lives of His beloved children. I ask the Lord to calm down my agitated nerves therefore and to comfort my harassed spirit; to take my restless hands into His tranquil hands and to let me walk alongside with Him.

At this stage in my sojourn here below and in my priestly vocation, I ask the Lord to help me to constantly seek to BE MORE, and not to DO MORE or to HAVE MORE. Those close to me know for sure that I really do not desire any more positions in life, nor do I wish to have any more properties or titles. I know I have already achieved a lot in worldly terms, some of which amount to sheer vanity; and I am often embarrassed about the many things I have acquired which I constantly need to give away. All I really desire at this point in my life is to slow down, to become familiar with sound of silence and to constantly stand still and look in. All I desire now is to create such physical, psychological and spiritual environment as is suitable for the cultivation of the habit of solitude that will facilitate my journey into that emptiness where the God of all fullness is to be found. In other words, what I desire most today after 40 years of incredible pastoral and social activism, is to nurture and promote the interior life – a subject matter that has haunted and captivated me for many years now.

True, friends, brothers and sisters, rather than expand further, what I desire henceforth is to nourish my interior being, to live more from within, and to explore that rich territory which Blessed Teresa of Avila describes as the interior castle. I want to spend more time enjoying God’s peaceful presence here and there, even amidst the commotions and confusions, and the distractions and pervasions of contemporary life. I want to spend more time henceforth reading and reflecting upon some of the spiritual and literary classics of our Christian heritage, as well as learning the contemplative and mystical traditions of the Carmelites and the Benedictines among others. Such engagement, I know, will provide for me the much-desired transition from a life of extreme busyness and restlessness, to one of serenity and restfulness. As I grow older each day, I want to become wiser, sending my roots deeper into the soil of life, while having my gaze firmly fixed on the God of love and His eternal kingdom. In this way I look forward to living the rest of my life purposefully, aging gracefully, and hopefully exiting this world gallantly, whenever it pleases God to draw the curtain on my earthly sojourn.

As I face the rest of my active years, I want to be a person of influence, but only on a deeply spiritual, psychological, and moral level. I want to be able to touch people more profoundly for God in Christ. I want to be good news to those around me. Though we live in an environment that is saturated with bad news of violence and wickedness, as well as corruption and infidelity, even among religious leaders, I want to be good news in my society and among my friends and fellow travellers. Yes, precisely in this perverted and debauched society, I can hear a loud call for me to serve as a sign of contradiction and to be a godly presence among those who cross my path. And I am willing to answer the call. In Christ’s name I want to be a beacon of light and hope and a symbol of joy and warmth to some of the distressed people who are grieving and despairing around me.

I desire that my life should show the young people in our environment that there is still some godly design in nature; that God is still present in creation; that God has not abandoned humanity to the Evil One; and that it pays to get to know Him, to get to love Him, and to get to serve Him. I want to be for the young people around me an example of what it means to be truly human, so that those of them who get to encounter me in person or through my works, may come to appreciate something of the glory of God, something of the beauty of creation, and something of the wonder of the human reality; for I see these elements as the ingredients of true worship. Someday, if it pleases the Lord, I shall revisit my interest in Christian music and re-ignite my passion for Christian poetry, by which in the past I sought to use the power of language and the wonder of music to appeal to the hearts of young people for God.

Finally, as I grow older, I would like my daily prayer and worship, my work and study, and the conduct of my friendships as well as my hobbies, to become a single symphony of praise to the Almighty God. I ask you all, my friends and fellow travellers in this mysterious journey of life, to pray for me that until I am called out of life’s unfinished symphony, to join the eternal chorus of praise in His Majestic Presence, I may always be at my post, singing my part and playing my tune, to the glory of God the Father, through his Son Jesus Christ, and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Rev. Fr. Ehusani is a priest and scholar