Tinubu Will Be Buhari’s Echo

THE ALTERNATIVE STORIES and PUBLIC SPHERE With Reno Omokri

THE ALTERNATIVE STORIES and PUBLIC SPHERE With Reno Omokri

THE ALTERNATIVE

By Reno Omokri

As a child of God, from the bottom of my heart, I wish Bola Tinubu to be in the best of health and to experience the long life that he and Buhari denied the young Nigerians that were slaughtered during the Lekki Massacre of innocent, unarmed, peaceful #EndSARS protesters at Lekki Toll Gate on October 20, 2020.

However, it is obvious that all is not well with Tinubu’s health. For the past three months, he has been out of the country on health tourism.

Now, I am not invading his privacy. Tinubu has presented himself to Nigerians as a prospective candidate for the office of the President of Nigeria, and his state of health and mind are my concern.

In the last six years, Muhammadu Buhari has made a spectacular failure of governing (or rather misruling) Nigeria. In 2023, we need refreshing leadership and not another corrosive and divisive ruler.

The question is this: is Tinubu mentally and physically fit to be President?
Even his most consistent sycophant (that would be the man who previously lied to us that God’s Holy Spirit told him he would be Nigeria’s 16th President – you know yourself, you bald-headed double-tongued liar!) Soyode agrees that Tinubu should be in a retirement home, as Buhari’s neighbour, rather than anywhere near the Presidential villa.

Let us start with his mental acuity.

On Monday, March 29, 2021, Tinubu, speaking at the 12th Bola Tinubu Colloquium, which held in Gandollar’s Kano, said:

“Recruit 50 million youths into the army, take away from their recruitment source. What they will eat? Cassava, corn, yam in the afternoon, it is grown here. You create demand and consumption for over five million army of boot camps.”

Yes, you read that right!

Such a statement is the type of gaffe Nigerians have come to expect from the WAEC-challenged Buhari. But it seems even the Chicagolly-challenged Tinubu is cut from the same cloth.

In a nation of 200 million people, Tinubu wants us to recruit one-quarter of our population into our army. Really, Tinubu?

Well, of course, the next day, he claimed he had misspoken. But we all watched him on camera, speaking of his own accord.

The above clearly shows that Tinubu lacks the mental understanding required for the demanding office of President of a nation like Nigeria.

Now, let us examine his physical stamina.

Two days before he made that unfortunate statement, he was in Kaduna to chair the 11th edition of the Annual Arewa House lecture on March 27, 2021.
While there, a visibly wobbly Tinubu missed his step and stumbled. He would have fallen like the bosom of a female BBNaija housemate, had he not been caught by the eagle-eyed security operatives surrounding him.

That video is still online. And it is proof positive that Tinubu’s motor skills are not what they used to be and that he is in urgent need of occupational therapy and intense physiotherapy, which media reports say he is currently receiving in London.

If what you have so far read sounds like déjà vu, it is because it is.

In the last six years, Nigeria has been grappling with the frail and fragile Buhari, who like Tinubu, has gone from gaffe to gaffe as he disgraces us on the national and international stage.

In Buhari’s press conferences, Germany became West Germany, COVID-19 became Covik one nine, Nigerian youths became lazy, and Osinbajo became Osunbade! Go figure!

In the last six years, Buhari has so far spent over 180 days being babysat in London by foreign doctors from who knows where, leading to scornful remarks about Nigeria on CNN and other international media.

The result of Buhari’s diminished mental capacity is that Nigeria has become the world headquarters for extreme poverty, the world headquarters for out-of-school children, the global capital for school abductions, and the third most terrorised nation on Earth, according to the Global Terror Index.

Let us honestly ponder on this: Can Nigeria afford another four years of Buhari’s doppelgänger after 2023?

Remember that the Naira is now at an all-time low of N527 to $1 on the parallel market and that our foreign debt has ballooned from N12 trillion in 2015 to N34.5 trillion today.

What hope do you as a Nigerian have that things will become better under Buhari’s echo?

The way people are trooping to London to take photographs with Tinubu is a warning to Nigerians that if we repeat the mistake of 2015 and vote him in as President in 2023, we will have another UK-based President.

And if that happens, I will not do #HarassBuhariOutofLondon again. I will just accept that Nigeria deserves what she gets, and jejely enjoy the rest of my life travelling and relaxing.

The fact that we are even considering a man who has been away for three months for an ailment that we do not know, and are very unlikely to know, is a sign that we have not suffered enough. We need a bit more suffering to reset our brains.

And then there is the issue of the bullion vans, which goes to Tinubu’s moral fitness for office.

On Election Day, Mr. Tinubu was caught with bullion vans going in and out of his premises in direct and blatant contravention of the Money Laundering Act.

We exposed the photos to the public. If this had been an opposition party chief, by now he would be in front of a judge answering to charges of all sorts.

Mr. Tinubu (if at all that is his real name, but that is a story for another day) has also been accused of being the real owner of the notorious AlphaBeta by the company’s former Managing Director, Mr. Oladapo Apara, who accused him of fraud and tax evasion.

Is this the sort of mendacious character that Nigerians want as their next President? Speaking for my family and I, I say a big Tufiakwa!

Reno’s Nuggets

By now, Nigeria should have made Wizkid its global ambassador. The young man projects Nigeria more positively than all our Embassies and High Commissions put together. The world should be seeing Wizkid repping Nigeria on CNN and other global media, and on our stamps, airports and embassies. Going further, the government could encourage Nigerian airlines to put his image on their planes together with pro-Nigeria messaging. Proper rebranding should be a projection of the most positive aspect of your nation. The world should touch, see and hear of Wizkid, not Boko Haram and 419!

When people buy your culture, they will definitely also buy your products.

Nigeria has a useless government that does not know this. They are more interested in rehabilitating Boko Haram than our economy. However, our private sector should not be like them. Use Wizkid to brand your products, the way Jamaica used Bob Marley, and Barbados is currently using Rihanna. Wizkid’s global fan base will buy your products and buy Nigeria! If UBA, for example, were to brand with Wizkid, they can get millions of new account holders in The United Kingdom and Ireland. People do not buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons. And the world has emotionally connected with Wizkid!
#RenosNuggets #FreeLeahSharibu

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