Aisha Gambo Life as a Soldier’s Wife is Most Difficult

She is suave, vibrant, and forthright. That’s Hajiya Aisha, wife of the Chief of the Naval Staff, Vice Admiral Awwal Zubairu Gambo. Aisha is automatically President of the Naval Officer’s Wives Association. She is an industrious woman who has been able to build a number of businesses. Aisha took over the NOWA Presidency last January and contributes immensely to several skills acquisition programmes for Naval officers wives. She also supports different communities and impacts thousands of lives through her philanthropic ventures. Aisha talks to Tosin Clegg about growing up, family, life as wife of the Navy Chief and a lot more

Education was paramount

Education was paramount as I grew up. I went to Igbudu Primary School, Warri and later to Nana College, Warri and completed my secondary education in Kaduna State at the famous Queen Amina College. I later gained admission into the Ahmadu Bello University where I studied and obtained a BA in Geography and Planning.

Making my mother happy as a kid

At an early age, honestly because then I didn’t want to see her suffer, as it was a polygamous home, I decided to think of what I could do for her. I decided to help with her business. I was very young then like seven and I would wake up as early as 3 or 4 a.m because she had these customers who used to come early to grind things before heading to their shops. So, sometimes, I can be awake from that early till when my dad would take every other person to school. Even sometimes, I would still be helping my mum, grinding stuff, when my dad is ready to take everyone to school. In most cases my mum would tell me to take a taxi to school. I would collect the money and still trek to school. That is to tell you how shrewd I can be and have been with money. Also, it’s noteworthy that even though my mum had a grinding machine, it wasn’t because my dad was poor. In fact, my dad was a very comfortable man. He was so comfortable that after he died, all his 32 children had properties willed to them. I still collect rent from two of the properties willed to me, but I usually use the money for charity. And what this means also is that no matter how comfortable your partner is, you as a wife should also find a way to also do something no matter how little.

Lessons from my dad

Growing up, he would always tell us that it’s what you give out that’s yours and what you keep for yourself is not yours. And we grew up seeing more people living with us, feeding from us; they were more than his children. We were trained with such mentality that nobody is different from the other. Even my house help, I won’t say my kids are better than her. Because, of course, we cook from the same pot and it is what they give me to eat that I eat. That’s how we grew up knowing we don’t discriminate and till now, that’s how we are.

My perception of life

My perception of life is to take things easy. Do things one step at a time and be yourself in most cases. No good thing comes easy, so it’s best you work hard and be sincere in whatever you do because when you are sincere you won’t get things wrong. I think sincerity is all, and always let your word be your bond.

Life has taught me to be myself

As a business person, I invest a lot and try a lot of things. But there are like two or three things that I have invested in and didn’t come out well. But today, I thank God for how far He has brought me from there. Life has taught me to be myself and be straightforward in all I do. And it’s not everything you discuss with people because you can say something now and they would misinterpret it.

What you give out is what’s yours

In my religion, we believe that what you give out is what’s yours because we believe that on the day of judgement, it’s the things you have given out that would be accumulated to reduce some of your misdeeds. We believe they would ask ‘what are this person’s good sides and what are the bad sides;’ that if the good outweighs the bad, the judgement would be reduced. The Joy you derive when you see that smile on people’s face, that’s enough and that’s the pleasure you get when people reach out to you with a problem or two and you are able to solve it, as that happiness knows no bound.

I Dream of peace everywhere

I would wish for nothing more than peace everywhere; whereby you can walk the streets at any time of the night and you can still travel when you want to travel. I remember in those days I can drive myself from Abuja to Kano with the kids and spend time there and come back, but now, we don’t get to see that again. Now, anywhere you are going, you have to buy a plane ticket and you won’t get to see how the countryside is and all its beauty.

Working as NOWA President

There are things you pray for when your husband gets to a certain rank in the military. But again, promotion comes from God and it is whoever God wishes that he gives it to. Becoming NOWA President is as a result of my husband becoming the Chief of the Naval Staff and automatically the position makes me oversee the women affairs of the Naval Officers Wives Association. And what I have tried to do is to empower most of our women which, of course, we have been doing. I have tried to see to it that from time to time, we should bring together some of our former CNS’s wives. I was the first person to see to that. Recently, I sent them an invite and they all came which had never been done before and that was a big achievement. We discussed and agreed we should be doing this even if it’s once or twice a year; where we have all of us sit down and discuss problems or challenges and get advice on how to do things. Also, we train the women on skills acquisitions and IT because when most of the men are not around, it’s the women that take care of the home front. So, whether the man is around or not, they should be able to stand on their own and take care of things. Wherever the man is, he would have peace because when his home front is fine, he would be good to go.

My ‘clean water’ project

My ‘Clean Water’ project is one of my notable achievements. This project came to my mind on the realisation that so many communities in Nigeria, in this age and time, still do not have access to clean water. This is a disturbing reality hence I felt we have to support government by assisting to provide portable water to as many communities as possible during my tenure. The project is strategically targeted at providing rural areas with access to portable water across the 36 states of Nigeria including the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja.

I’m so proud of myself

When I look at the woman I am today, I would say I’m grateful to God because each day that passes, I keep telling myself that I cannot thank God enough because I’m so proud of myself and I know wherever my parents are they are so proud of me. Also, my siblings are proud of me and that’s asides the fact that my husband is the Chief of the Naval Staff. We are 32 that my father had and I can tell you when there are issues in the family I’m still called upon to see how best we can resolve them and to me that’s something to be proud of. They have elders they can call but they still choose to call me.

How people perceive me

They might see someone that looks arrogant or see someone that’s snobbish but I don’t open up to people when I don’t know them. So, I select the people I associate with and that’s because of peace of mind. And it’s only a few people that understand me. Those that understand me well accept me for who I am. And I’m someone that tells you what is black is black and what’s white is white but when people get to know me they have positive things to say about me. When you know the kind of person I am, it speaks for itself.

Life as a military’s wife

Life as a military’s wife is the most difficult task and again the easiest task. Difficult because most of the time, your husband is not around or vice versa, in case of the woman as an officer. In my own case, my husband was not always around until he got to a certain position in the Nigerian Navy. Now, as a military’s wife, don’t lie to yourself and don’t assume what you are not; that’s where most people fail. So, it’s advisable to plan according to your resources and don’t give your husband unnecessary budget because I remember when we were quite young, my husband gives me a larger percentage of his salary and keeps the smaller part. From what he gives me, I can do my monthly shopping conveniently and a lot more, because when you plan your budget, you can never go wrong with it. The man will only get to certain ranks when you allow him peace; the more problem you give him, the more he has in his place of work and that affects his performance. As an officer’s wife, cut your coat according to your size and get something doing no matter how little to support the family. I was working in my house for years and I made a lot of money, but as a woman, whether military or not, you need to assist at the home front. When you don’t attract unnecessary burden you would all have peace at home.