Google Assurance?

Teacher’s Diary

Our reliance on google since it was founded on September 4, 1998 is invaluable. This is not unconnected with its search prowess for text in publicly accessible documents offered by web servers as opposed to other data, such as images or data contained in databases.

Whilst my teasing mates roared with raucous laughter at what I’d just said, a bit confused and momentarily self-conscious, I rummaged feverishly in my bag on the window sill for my mobile. “Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly nor sits in the seats of sinners…” escaped from my phone as I unpinned it. Hastily I searched for the dictionary meaning of the word “feasting”. Thank God my auto-repeated Psalm 1 had been my subject of meditation a few hours before then. Otherwise I’d have been a little rattled by this early morning jibe!”En hen!” I exhaled as Google assured me that ‘feasting’ had been a perfect word to use in my statement, “They were feasting when I arrived”. “You mean the whole lot of them?”, asked Jan as she swished a right fist in the air. “Not a chance! That’d have been vile!” snapped Sinead in mock embarrassment. “Ok ok back off K everyone, actually Kay, we got it’, declared Clarrisa, “K meant /fi:stin/ (signing the eating action with her hands) not /fistin/ (she made a fist, lowered it to her pubic area and signed erotic sexual action with it)”.Completely miffed, I exhaled, “…but his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His commandments does he meditate day and night…” My friends just stared at me for a moment and burst into more laughter. Daily I am consciously and unconsciously reminded that I am a second language user, not a first language user. Not that it matters much to me. However it has done, it does do and will continue to matter to people with low self-confidence.Indeed folks, to become a tree planted by the rivers of water, whose leaves do not whither and all she does prospers, takes a lot of adaptability, creativity, accommodation and focus. Like the cutting taunts of my mates, the professional world we work in now has no time for imperfections. To remain on board and be accepted, you’d need to be outstanding in relevant skills or you’re out!The linguistics and phonetics lab did not work for one day when I was an undergraduate of English at OAU many years ago. In fact, this facility remains non-existent in many a Nigerian uni today.

Consequently, students resort to mastering just the physical transcription of English sounds rather than experiencing the visual and acoustic makings of these sounds of English. Our linguistics and phonetics departments need urgent revamps.Our entire English departments desperately need to create and flesh out courses that would quickly position our English graduates for jobs. We need graduates coming out with combined bachelors in English and journalism; English and Filmmaking; English and Social Care; English and School Administration…, the list is endless.Indeed the list is endless of professions that having a degree in English can impact on. All it takes is an honest awareness of the winds of change in Nigeria today. Recently I launched a children’s clothes line named Omolabake Couture. I did a little research on the many designs of smock and brained stormed with a couple of friends on girls’ age-ranges smocks are best suited for. My background in language enabled me to source for fetching fabric colours, combine them to make sweet smocks for girls of age 3-5 and coin original names for each design.I continue to develop my skills in freelance writing, story writing, the various aspects of filmmaking, teaching, nursing and active health promotion. Looking back across my tedious, laborious, effortful career pathways, I thank God that I have persevered. Nonetheless, I cannot help but wish younger tertiary student aspirants of English studies could be offered more opportunities to study other skills, alongside English, so that they graduate in fields that enable them to get jobs quicker or become self-employed especially that things are changing in our today’s world.

Omoru is a freelance writer, education, health and social care advocate