OONI OF IFE: A CONFUSED STATE

I was in the thick forest of Akwa Ibom when like millions of Nigerians I saw the post saying that the most recent wife of the highly respected Ooni was leaving him after just three years of marriage and a son.

The first thing that came to my mind was the fact that his robes are just too much. I have been saying it, that the way he wraps himself in all these shrouds of cloth, how will he be removing them if he needs a quick one. By the time he spends all that time removing all of those, the thing go don tire Olori sef.

But thankfully, it’s looking like Ooni don beg. I have also just seen a BBC quick documentary with the influential traditional ruler saying everything is calm and that there is nothing like that. The Queen was also seen in the video on her knees thanking the Ooni for giving her the opportunity to be his queen.

Whatever the matter is, let me just say that there is no smoke without fire. Something has happened as it happens in every relationship and I am very hopeful that it has been subdued because me, I really like this Ooni.

My own is that the wrapper is always too plenty. Let’s wear fewer and let’s try to up the game in the other room because we never can tell where fire dey take enter person house.

I will be sending to His Majesty my book – Anonymous Nipples – as my own way of contributing to the stability of his marriage. The Book contains a lot of salient points on relationships, communication and sex. Knowledge is a continuous process abeg. Please sir, let me know how to send to you so that I will do so immediately. Kabiyesiiiiiii!