A LETTER TO BEN MURRAY-BRUCE

I hate to write tributes. I am terrible at dealing with the grief of losing people. I have sought ways to grieve through a numbing of emotions but I breakdown in the middle, so writing a tribute for Ben Murray Bruce’s mother is harder because I don’t even know him or have I met her.

But I encountered a piece recently in the papers when she celebrated her birthday and she talked a lot about the historical antecedents of Nigeria and her love for her family and that struck me like thunder because I am a deeply family-oriented person. Apart from doing my journalism, my best job in life will be about becoming a lovely husband to my future wife and being the best father to my children and helping people which I believe is more important. When I read her interview on family values I was struck by the love and attention she paid to her family. It is obvious where Ben Murray learnt how to love his mother from his mother. I watched from afar how he loved dearly his mother and he showered her with love and attention and I could bet I know what the feeling is like. I lost my own mother when I was just seven years old and trust me I haven’t still recovered. You don’t really heal from losing the ones you love, you just live your life trying to heal. I believe that’s the burden deep love places on all of us.

In her article for her birthday I saw her deep love for Nigeria when she juxtaposed the old days and the new days and the hope for things to be better in Nigeria. I was once told that she was a great fan of my work on Arise TV and I had wished someday to meet her. But the sad reality is that, it is just a wish now, since she is gone. This is another reminder to visit people more and I will really make a mental note to do that soon.

I can imagine it’s been a tough time for Senator Murray Bruce and the Bruce clan but I want Senator Bruce and his brothers to be consoled by the fact that he loved his mother so dearly and his love for her was an example for people like me and letting go despite how hard it feels. It’s a burden of love we must all carry. We thank God for the life of his mother and pray it is well.

Rufai Oseni, rufaioseni@gmail.com