PARENTS AS ROLE MODELS

 Parents should be blamed for lax behaviour of their children, writes Chiedu Uche Okoye

We have this axiomatic saying, which rings true upon a close examination of it: the only permanent thing on earth is change. The passage of time brings about changes in our lifestyles, behaviour, religious belief-systems, cultural practices, manner of politicking, and others. In fact, everything is in a constant state of flux. And nobody-nobody wants to be caught in a time warp. 

For example, a pretty young lady, who wears an oversize flowing gown that sweeps the floor to a party, will feel out of place there as her fashion style is no longer the fad. Instead of receiving cheers from her friends, she will be a recipient of their jeers. Only iconoclasts want to be different; and they care less about what other people say about them. Think about Fela Anikulapo Kuti.

So nobody wants to be left behind in any areas of life. People make strenuous efforts to adapt to the zeitgeist and weltanschauung of the period in which they live. In the 1960s, when we had newly become a sovereign country, people set store by honesty, truthfulness, holiness, and chastity. Then, we viewed corrupt and evil-minded people with contempt and disdain, irrespective of their attainments in diverse areas of human specializations.

Again, at that time, our leading politicians were philosopher-kings and political ideologues, who placed much premium on the acquisition of knowledge. In this regard, Chief Obafemi Awolowo and Rt. Hon. Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe readily come to mind. It was Chief Obafemi Awolowo who espoused socialist idealogies, and implemented democratic welfarism in the western region, then. His free education policy benefited a great majority of Yoruba people. And Nnamdi Azikiwe, whose speeches and writings were laced with polysyllabic and jaw-breaking words, championed the promotion of education in Nigeria. He played a significant and pivotal role in the establishment of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

But sadly,  many years down the line, things have changed for the worse in the geographical expression called Nigeria. Now, people do not set store by possession of such virtues as probity, honesty, spirituality, humility, perseverance, love of education, and others, anymore. Almost everybody abides by this Machevillian dictum: the end justifies the means. Consequently, a great majority of Nigerians have become destitute of the virtues of honesty, truthfulness, and humility while striving to acquire money through fair and foul means. 

So parents should be blamed for the immoral deeds, which their children commit, because the parents are not exemplars of good behaviours. Are parents not, inadvertently, socializing their children into the vile culture of corruption by hiring surrogate candidates to sit such examinations as SSCE, NECO, NABTEB, and UMTE for their kids? Are some married women not cuckolding their husbands while their children are in the know?

Parents exert a great influence on their children, who are in their formative years. Children of impressionable ages look up to their parents as role models. For example, in a family where the father is a renowned lawyer, the children will be inclined to toe the footsteps of their father. And, morally upright parents will impart family values to their children. So those children’s personalities will be shaped by the training they receive from their parents. 

But today, many parents exert bad influences on their children. Some couples had split because of their indulgence in extra-marital affairs. Some married women do not disapprove of sexual immorality, affirming that they reserve the right to use their bodies in the ways they like. 

However, children are inclined to imitate the personality traits of their parents. Children, we know, could be likened to a yam tendril, which should be guided in order that it can twine on a stake provided for it, properly. 

Sadly, now, not only are a majority of parents’ bad influence on their children, but also they have prioritized the attainment of high positions in their careers above moulding the character of their children. Their attitude to parenting has given rise to the issue of latchkey kids. 

A latchkey kid who is of impressionable age is susceptible to being influenced by people in his or her immediate environment. Today, many young people, who were once latchkey kids, were moulded in the likeness of  people other than their parents. These young people engage in substance abuse, kill other people for money -making rituals, abduct people for ransom, and carry out armed robbery operations. 

When parents shirk their parental responsibilities, and delegate them to teachers and religious leaders, they will be blamed if their children become social deviants, who commit atrocious, abominable, and ignoble deeds. Parents ought to know that most teachers and religious leaders in whose hands they entrust their kids for upbringing and moral training are moral degenerates. Among teachers and religious clerics are paedophiles , who sexually abuse children. Can sexual and moral perverts raise children up in a godly way? The answer is a categorical no. 

More so, politicians do not help matters as to the empowering of young people and laying good examples for them. In Nigeria, political desperadoes do hire youths for the perpetration of election fraud in their favour. Not a few young people have imbibed the wrong notion that it is appropriate for politicians to give inducement to voters in exchange for their votes. Now, during election, people who are eligible to exercise their franchise, trade their votes for money.

So it cannot be gainsaid that there is erosion of moral values among us. The erosion of moral values in our society is chiefly caused by the valorization and lionization of rich people whereas poor people are despised. In order to acquire money so as to earn and command the respect of other people, we cut corners in our doings, kill people for money-making rituals, and steal government money entrusted in our care. 

Now it is obvious to us that the peoples of Nigeria need moral regeneration in order that their restrictive mechanisms can become active. It is the only way by which we can stem the tide of corruption in Nigeria, check religious intolerance in the land, and extirpate ethnic hatred among us.

 Okoye writes from

Uruowulu-Obosi,

Anambra State