Funke Akindele, Wake Up

Did you see the video of mummy celebrating her 45th birthday? She wore a white garment and appeared in one church and promptly went into a trance. My people, the image catch me o. I have a major weakness for women in that gown and when they go into trance the thing used to sweet me o.

I engage one sef. My third wife is a white garment person. The mother of my very beautiful daughter Annette who just celebrated her 17th is a white garment person o.

When she puts on the white garment, my head used to turn o. There is something sexually powerful (I’m sorry o, don’t beat me o, na my fetish) about a full curvaceous woman in that gown and jumping up and down in a trance. Kai, I am sick o. The thing used to turn my head and that is why I used to just go to the White Garment churches that litter Shomolu and just sit-down and be waiting for them to enter the trance.

White garment church trance is more powerful because the women used to just scatter and if you position well, you will get the full view. But the Pentecostal one, the mumu ushers will be carrying wrapper so that once the woman goes in the spirit, they will now use the wrapper to cover them. Those ones are not serious abeg.

The white garment own na war o. Everything and everything is displaced o. Wig will fly out, padded bra will find its way, fake bottom will disappear and if the message is very powerful maybe coming from a very powerful prophet, the shaking and gyrating used to be earth shaking. You will just be seeing breasts jumping up and down and the men will be struggling to contain the tremor. I will be very quiet and be studying the situation as a well-known researcher. That is how I got carried away and gave one bele o.

So, watching our PDP running mate of Lagos, going into a mild trance brought back memories. As a political player, she controlled her own. She didn’t scatter well and even though the chest heaved, it did not scatter like it should have when she was not a candidate. But anyway, I enjoyed the show small and this has made me pray for a defeat in the election because when she goes to court, she will go back to the church and this time the shaking and scattering will be massive in a bid to overturn the defeat. Oya aduraaaaaaaaa.