A DIFFERENT CLASS OF SPOKESMEN
Some combative spokesmen are becoming their candidates’ albatross, contends Austin Isikhuemen
Who is a spokesman? He/she is a person that speaks as the representative of another or others often in a professional capacity. He is expected to present the good side of his principal to the outside world. He is generally expected to be a likeable and pleasant individual who is knowledgeable about the areas of interest, concerns and objectives of the principal. Most importantly he is expected to have a robust relationship with the press and ensure everything he does or says are in tandem with tactics and strategies in furtherance of the principal’s objectives.
But we have seen in recent time, especially since the beginning of this new general elections cycle that will culminate in the swearing in of elected officials in May 2023, a different class of spokesmen. Two spokesmen come to mind, and they serve two of the biggest political parties in Nigeria. I have coined a name for this new style spokesmen. I call the name of the practitioner of this new combative model smokesmen. No. I don’t mean that they smoke. It is the obfuscation and adept practice of the art of Lai Mo, making it impossible for the public to see/know the truth that engenders the smoke impact.
The other of the troika appointed as spokesman but he has been present by his absence and his silence has been very loud. I hear he is a technocrat and very experienced in matters of public relations, image laundering and information dissemination but we are yet to see or hear, so he cannot be evaluated for smokesmanship or lack of it in this piece. When we see him, we will assess him and see if he brings opacity or adds transparency to his party’s quest for election victory.
One of the practitioners of smokesmanship told us that reading from home without going to a formal educational institution and passing exams is considered a virtue and, in fact, celebrated. Sounds true and credible. After all, there are many successful men who did home studies. I recall those days when we were in primary school, there was Rapid Results College which we always saw in my headmaster’s Daily Times Newspaper. It was a correspondence college. There must have been many ‘graduates’ of that institution. But what the smokesman did not say, or carefully avoided, is that those who read from home had to sit exams and acquire certificates thereby. He carefully covered that aspect in smoke. Please, when you see him, ask him to show the certificates as that was what made the process virtuous. We do not want those saying education is a scam to get a SAN as a supporting prop.
The other smokesman comes across as someone who cannot distinguish between comedy and spokesmanship. Abrasive comedy at that. He must have learnt in the FFK school of garrulous smokesmanship and showmanship with double honours. For someone who donned a Doctoral Academic Gown to prove a got a first degree, no absurdity is beyond limits. These days, you are not even sure if he was hired to market his principal or his role is to use the principal’s campaign to burnish his own image. Check his Twitter handle and see his photos splashed copiously and gaudily with ample display of expensive sartorial accoutrements with sparse mentions of the principal. Then a lot of smoke.
On Television, these smokesmen come across as people who has an axe to grind with journalists who are trying their utmost best to peel the political onions to enable the citizens to see what lies inside the opaque labyrinth. They attack these members of the fourth Estate of the Realm with some uncouth accusations, irreverent interjections and even refusal to allow the journalists play their role of asking the questions. Go to social media and see for yourself where a spokesman turns to an inquisitor during an interview in an absurd reversal of roles. Uppity, arrogant and condescending, they make you wonder whether they came to explain their principals’ cause or use their abrasiveness to demarket them.
One other aspect I find off-putting is their arrogant claims that the elections are as good as won by their principals. The same elections that are four months away. They sound as if they have already thump-printed the ballot papers but merely awaiting the date to put them in the ballot box or they have an understanding with INEC. Either those or the worst scenario – that Nigerian voters are fools who cannot discern what is good for them and would vote for their oppressors. They see their role as that of telling the voters that their party will win no matter what, rather than persuading them to vote for their principal to enable him win.
Another common thread that runs through the arguments of these smokesman, and their principals for that matter, is their condescending attitude towards the youths. They derogatively and derisively refer to those active on social media as not worthy of any attention because, according to them, there is no voting on social media. They claim the youths who are routing for the revolutionary movement, or what people have termed the third force, are just noisy youth who they treat as insignificant in their quest to continue in or take over political power. Yet, in their personal capacities they live and breathe social media and are supposed to be a bridge between the ‘ancestors’ and the youth. But they seem to enjoy ancestral worship more. I hear the pecuniary recompense is alluringly sumptuous.
What was their stand on the political matches that culminated in the massive rallies of October 1st, 2022? Instead of wooing the youth, arguably the largest block of registered voters, they are being called names and sometimes painted with the ENDSARS tar in order to make then look bad. Why don’t they courageously start “RESUMESARS” in their manifesto? That would be courageous indeed!
Is it possible for a spokesman to be an albatross on his principal’s neck? Could the temperament of an image maker derogate from the principal’s positive persona? Can the abrasiveness, uncouth demeanor, dismissive attitude and militant disposition hurt the candidate’s image and standing? Could the unwholesome baggage the spokesman carries around imperil the cause? Only 2023 elections will tell. We wait for the 3rd Force spokesman so we can know if he too will come with a lot of smoke. Marketing is different from pushing a live porcupine down our throat.
