Femi Otedola’s Poor Imitation

My people, you know I am shameless so I will cry out o. It is Duchess’s 50th this month and the budget I have been presented come look like Buhari budget o. A budget of hopelessness. The figures do not take into consideration the galloping inflation rate and the worsening state of the Naira.

So, I called a session to discuss and get a middle ground. I talk o, I explain, I beg, I cry, I even use some ASUU style by refusing to do my work in the other room and all I met for my efforts was very insensitive – you only get to 50 once.

So, I resort to a Keyamo style push. “If you cut this budget by 70%, I swear I will buy you a new car next year and remove Ooni of Ife from my broadcast list before that one will go and inspire me to join him in his marriage frenzy.” She thought about it and asked me to do an undertaking that I will buy the car because she could not care less about my other activities with my new brother -Ooni. “When the effects of his action start to dawn on him, I will laugh,” was her retort.

I was happy, but my joy was short-lived because the next morning, I was woken up to a video of egbon Otedola inspecting the giant yacht he was renting for billions to celebrate his 60th.

‘Otedollar’ don kill me o. This his 60th has taken over the media space. Duchess was livid, “Is this not a man like you?” She screamed. I screamed back ooo, this is not a man like me oooooo, This is EFFINGGG FEMI OTEDOLA!!!  Is something the matter with you? Why compare me to a frigging billionaire?

She retorted, “Is he not a man like you? Does he have two heads? See he is even skinny sef. You have a bigger belly than him. Am I asking for a yacht, Mbok, let’s go back to the full budget and be a man.”

 Oh my God, Otedola has killed me with these fantastic birthday celebrations. He has chosen to enjoy the blessings that God has bestowed on him. Hiring the magnificent yacht, sailing with his beautiful family and generally just having well-deserved fun.

 My own is that, he for just do am quietly or even block Duchess from seeing all of that, because now I have to go and look for a boat to hire. I cannot even go near the canoe for Makoko, talk less of this one.

Anyway, do not mind me o. Just having a little bit of fun. But let me just state this: Mr. Otedola has, over the years, shown a remarkable comeback spirit. I once watched an interview where he was talking about the losses he incurred and how he bounced back. His life is remarkable. His philanthropy is the largest and most impactful and very much importantly, the way he loves his family just makes him a complete Nigerian man, one that should be emulated.

Happy 60th my Lord, and may God continue to bless you and grant you a very long life. Happy Birthday Sir.