The Résumé Of An Obidient

THE ALTERNATIVE

By Reno Omokri

Recently, some persons accused me of supporting Bola Tinubu, by reason of my not acquiescing to the claim that Peter Obi and Datti Baba-Ahmed won the February 25, 2023 election.

And they did not stop there. They have spread tales about Tinubu paying me in order to turn against Peter Obi. But when was I ever for Peter Obi’s Presidential ambition?

Yes, I do admit that I once promoted him for consideration as a running mate to Waziri Atiku Abubakar, beginning from 2017, because I was instructed to do so by a former leader whose voice is to me, like the voice of an angel. But ever since he left our party, I have left him alone.

But let me say that Peter Obi was not defeated by Bola Tinubu, or the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), or by rigging. He was defeated by his Obidients. No matter what you say about Buhari, at least he can control his followers. Nigerians in their own wisdom felt it was unwise to confer power on a man who cannot control his followers! Will you give a car to a man who cannot even control a bicycle? Of course not.

I turned against him. It was never about him. It was about the low cultured, uncivilised, barbaric horde, who seized control of his movement. I can forgive you for coming after me. But when you come after my baby daughter, only God can give me the grace to forgive you! And Obidients did it to uncountable people.

And you think power will ever gravitate towards you guys? Apart from insults, what other political strategy do you have? We will see how you can insult your way to power.

Look at Wole Soyinka. Exactly the same thing has happened to him as with me. The man is now facing Obi because of his Obidients. They just go about the world making enemies for Peter Obi. By now, Peter Obi must be aware that the worst thing to happen to him are Obidients!

 I mean, not only do I find the allegation of frolicking with Tinubu bizarre, I also think it is unreasonable for anybody to say that a candidate who came third with almost a million votes behind the supposed second place candidate actually won the election.

In what upside-down world would that even make sense?

 Besides, I doubt if anybody alive, with the exception of his children and a handful of individuals, has more tenaciously supported Waziri Atiku Abubakar’s candidacy, and still does, as myself.

I believe that the elections were not credible and encouraged Waziri Atiku to head to court. I also embarked on peaceful protests against the results of the Presidential election at Nigeria’s High Commission in London, and at Nigeria’s embassy in New York.

So, where does anybody come off seeing a pro-Tinubu tendency in me?

Sadly, those making this false allegation against me (or perhaps they even believe it), are Obidients. And it is not too surprising.

Not everything is about money guys. Not everyone is motivated by money.

And permit me to say here that a culture where money, rather than respect, is the cornerstone, is a low culture that may prosper materially, but will never prosper spiritually or politically. And for those making the allegation, please note that I have principles. I am not from a culture where a child can open his mouth and call his own father “a nobody”.

What is money? Something that we will all leave on Earth. That is how you rate a life? Do you know why a Bini man will fight you physically if you dare insult the Omo N’Oba N’Edo Uku Akpolokpolo? Because they view him not as a king, but as their father. That is why for over a thousand years, their culture has stood. Firm!

Until a culture has been recalibrated to stop revolving around money, and to gravitate towards respect, it will always be under the control of higher cultures that are built on respect. Just look at pre-colonial and post-colonial Nigeria. Not much has changed in terms of power structure!

Because those making this fallacious argument about me worship money, they also feel that everybody is motivated by money like them. Listen to me carefully: Bola Tinubu is known to be associated with drog  (deliberate spelling to avoid you know what). If he is on fire, I will not urinate on him. No amount of money and/or post will make me support him. I will protest and support the Peoples Democratic Party’s petition against his victory with my money and energy.

However, as far as I am concerned, if the Supreme Court does not overturn his victory, which I pray they do, I will recognise and accept him as my President on May 29, 2023, and torment him if he toes the path of Buhari.

For 500 years, my lineage has never been poor. And I am not about to be the weak link that will bring poverty into my pedigree. My actions are the result of my principles.

The sad part of this is that Wole Soyinka was actually sympathetic to the Obidient movement. His words and actions left no one in doubt, and he himself has come out to say as much in one of his latest statements.

Yet, even that was not enough to shroud him from the insult brigade. If Obidients can do that to Soyinka, after his moral support to their movement, what hope is there for the Woke activists, entertainers and journalists now romancing them for likes and retweets?

On Twitter, I released a Thursday, October 9, 1969 front page of the Daily Times of Nigeria, which headline celebrated the release of Wole Soyinka after 22 months’ imprisonment by the Gowon regime for advocating for Biafra.

Over 50 years later, the children of those he fought for are insulting him with the vilest insults known to man, because he cautioned Datti Baba-Ahmed against making treasonable statements. How sad!

At a time when nobody wanted to speak for Biafra, this man spoke for her. Even if they do not have respect for his age (he is 88), at least they could have gratitude for his sacrifices on their parents’ behalf.

Of course, not all Obidients are from the area once known as Biafra. But an extremely large proportion of them are. Who knows tomorrow? They may once again be in need of a friend from outside their zone in the future. Don’t let that future would-be helper look back at this saga and hesitate to help them when they need it most.

But having observed how they treated Professor Soyinka, I was inspired to write the resume, or the Curriculum Vitae of the average Obidient. Here goes:

Name Obidients:

Main Characteristics:

With few exceptions (and I apologise to those exceptions) we tend to be people who have no sense of gratitude, or accommodation for others. We are completely oblivious to the offences we cause others, yet highly hyper aware of what we feel are assumed offences towards us.

We believe that humility is stupidity, and restraint is weakness. We have little or no emotional intelligence, and are completely devoid of empathy.

We only understand aggressiveness and have no sense of honesty, and we will twist past events to make ourselves victims of circumstances where we were the openers of the Pandora’s Box.

We have absolutely no decorum, and are uncouth and nasty. We do not possess any feedback mechanism to see that our strategy is not working. Like zombies, we only know one way!

We have no persuasive ability or recourse to diplomacy. If you don’t agree with us, you are mad, and stupid, and senseless. If you agree with us 99.9% of the time and only disagree with us 0.01% of the time, the same applies to you. We are Obidients and we are better than you!

Objectives: Though we came third in the election, we actually won. And if you do not believe we won, you are also mad, and stupid, and senseless.

Reno’s Nuggets

The Forbes list of the richest people on Earth can also be described as a list of people who failed or never took examinations. Examinations are a test of memory. You did not fail that examination. That examination failed you. It tested your memory, not your abilities. So, don’t let failing it make you think you are dumb. If you test a fish on its ability to fly, it will always fail that exam. You are not dumb! Albert Einstein failed his university entrance examination. Google it. Yet, he is rated one of the most intelligent men who ever lived. That you failed an exam does not mean you are dull. The true test of intelligence is succeeding in life, not succeeding in exams.