Loud Whispers with JOSEPH EDGAR
Nigeria: Facts Behind the Figures
This is a tad confusing. They say removing the fuel subsidy will save N18 trillion annually, yet, they want to borrow another $800 million as palliatives to give to Nigerians, about 50 million Nigerians or is it households. A quick maths will show that one can only give out N8,000 per person. An amount that cannot even get you the finest pick at Hotel Rosy in Shomolu.
Wait o, it gets worse. Our total debt is almost N46 trillion, up from N12 trillion in 2015. So why now add this unnecessary $800 million. I don’t understand it o.
It is not a joke when they say we are the poorest capital in the world. The figures justify it. See, we have 130 million ‘multidimensional poor people’ according to one man that was interviewed by Dr. Abati on ARISE NEWS the other day. The man went on to say that he is an investment banker and that they have run the numbers. You know investment bankers no dey lie. He said that we have 112 million bank accounts and that out of this, only 0.6% can boast of N500,000 savings. Me, I no kuku dey inside the 0.6%, my account is firmly on the other side of the divide.
Less than 400,000 of those accounts can boast of savings up to N500,000 and about 182 million of us earn less than N60,000 per day. He concluded that in seven years, we have added N34 trillion new debts and this is outside the ways and means debt at the CBN that is inching close to the N23 trillion mark and Fashola’s N11 trillion that we are owing contractors with mostly no projects tied to it. We now have over $200 billion brand new debts. Kai!
Na yeye people dey rule us. It is so clear, na real yeye people dey control our monetary and fiscal policy abi, if they are not yeye, will they be doing this? See the leakage from the oil industry and instead of plugging it comprehensively, they call Tompolo and that one will now be catching a canoe and a small jerry can of crude oil. Are we serious people?
$1.5 trillion edged against receivables that will come from the removal of subsidy, we will not need to borrow any money from anybody, this man shouted on screen.
Another thing that is even nagging me, is the IMF people and others who keep lending us these funds. Why do they still keep doing this with these figures staring them in the face? Why are they not throwing up the very first thing in credit – the 3 Cs. Character, I no remember the other two abeg. Why do they keep throwing these funds at us when there are no real thought out modalities for repayment, when there is no transparency with which the funds will be used and when there has been no clear reporting on previous loans taken? This thing just tire me.
Be like say, anytime I want to go and borrow money again with any of these microfinance banks, I will ask the Minister of Finance to follow me because those ones will be asking me for a credit bureau report, collateral and all of that before they even pick my call. But the Minister of Finance seems to have a way with these things.
It’s just madness. Then again, why go borrowing when you have less than 50 days to go in power? Why the hurry, e no suppose concern you again na. Let the incoming if he can find his way back from Guinea come and handle that one abeg. Just go, Buhari, just go abeg. You have tried. Thank you. Kai!
Nigerian Railways as a Giant Fumble
This was always set up to be a giant fumble. The trains are financially fumbling all over the country and the infrastructure has started decaying less than how many years since they started service. The other day, the power failed and the alternative source didn’t come up. The electronic sign boards have stopped working and the place is beginning to crumble.
Look, when I saw the news report that with about N111 billion debt, the service generated only N12 billion in revenues, I just clapped. My people, if una like don’t let me enter the train again, the whole thing na scam and you don’t need to be a Nobel prize winner in economics to see through it very clearly.
Just walk into the Yaba station or any of their stations and you will be asked to pay with cash. Abeg, who still does that at this time and age. You cannot pre-book, you cannot pay electronically, it must be cash at the point of departure. My people, there is a sharing formula which I swear does not involve government or the people wey help us borrow this money abi how can we explain this one na.
Another thing doing this railway is insecurity. So, they say they lost about N113 million after the Kaduna-Abuja attack and another N5.3 billion due to the suspension that came afterwards.
It is no wonder that the issues of derailment have started rearing its very ugly head. It is inevitable na, are you surprised? When the revenues are not reaching interest payment obligations, maintenance will suffer and with that the trains will start having mechanical problems and this one you cannot rush to Oyingbo and go and buy the spare part from Obinna.
If it was just a derailment, I would not mind. After all, if the train derails near Iwo road, shey I will just walk into the nearest village and eat Amala and collect a new wife. But with the prospect of kidnapping, robbery and all staring you in the face inside Itakpe bush, you will begin to rethink the train service as a veritable alternative to road transportation and this will further kill the revenues. Kai, a wicked and vicious circle.
My people, the solution is very clear as taxpayers cannot add this over N100 billion debt on top of the one CBN and Fashola are generating daily. What we need to do is to remove the thing as a government benefit to us and sell the whole damn thing to private sector people who will now re-price and run the thing efficiently.
Sorry o, it doesn’t make sense to pay N3,000 from Lagos to Ibadan because Buhari wants to prove a point that he is a caring President when on the other side, we pay heavily for that crap by covering the huge hole.
Privatisation of the whole damn thing, a repricing and an efficient module will solve the problem once and for all…..
David Hundeyin as Public Enemy Number Two
Well, as a man who has looked for enough trouble in Lagos, I don’t know if I will be adding more pepper to my matter if I say Hundeyin is my friend. This enemy number 2- after Peter Obi continues to push. The more his mortal enemy Asiwaju progresses, the more David digs in with steely resolve.
To him, I think he believes that if the courts or the people cannot stop this, he will use his super hero powers as the world’s biggest investigative reporter since the ones that brought down Richard Nixon to bring down this Asiwaju President-elect.
The fight has been rough and tough. David will be releasing and the trio of Alake, Keyamo and Onanuga will be pushing back. When everything is calm, David will throw another one. The bomb will shake the system small and calm down and then he will throw another one.
As he is throwing, Asiwaju is progressing- primaries, elections, emilokan declaration and now President-elect. As we are looking at May 29, with baba moving steadily and growing in confidence, David threw another one. This one is massive o. Baba is from Guinea he screams. Twitter bans him, he says no problem, Baba is from Guinea ooo.
Kai! I don’t even know what to say again. I once interviewed David and asked him why. You are a Lagos establishment person. Your brother na police spokesman, your papa na top civil servant before he died, your uncles all have powerful positions in the system so why you come dey do David and Goliath.
His response was crisp and emotional. He told me of how he watched his father die from corruption and inefficiency within the Lagos State structure and came to the realisation that if this could happen to his father- a retired Lagos State perm sec with access to everybody plus the Asiwaju himself, then the common man had no hope. He watched his father die at the Gbagada General Hospital, an avoidable death. A process where from beginning to end, bribery and callousness lined the whole street, so where then is the much vaunted, ‘I built Lagos.’
It was from that morning as he bowed his head to his dad’s corpse that he swore to get his superman costume and fight injustice starting from Asiwaju who to him personified the evil that was the system that not only killed his father but keeps killing millions of Lagosians.
So, guys, you now understand why David is the way he is. Only God knows how this David and Goliath fight will end. Will Asiwaju be the bigger man and go and kneel down to David and say, ‘aburo ma bi nu’ — the only leader in recent history I know that can do this is IBB — or will David say, I have fought for years but this monster still keep getting stronger, make I leave am go find who I go marry? Either of these prospects don’t look possible so my advice to Nigerians is to tighten your seat belts and prepare for a very bumpy ride.
My only plea to my aburo David, please I really beg you, in your investigative journey, if you see Asiwaju nude, no release am o, I beg I no go want vomit for my food o. Let that be the only line you will not cross o. Kai.
Julian Osula’s Deserving Recognition
I sha used to avoid writing about this my great brother, Julian Osula. The reason is not far-fetched. I envy the man, I swear. From his beards, to his convivial attributes and his extremely beautiful wife not to talk about his very successful life. I will be looking at him from afar and be saying why man go fine like this, get better intelligent and beautiful wife and people come like am like this.
Anyways, today I want to congratulate him for the honour his alma mater the Faculty of Management Sciences of the University of Benin is about to bestow on him. Julian leads a huge pack of top alumnus that would be honoured by the faculty for their huge contribution to life and society.
The instructional thing in this award, is that Mr. Osula studied Law at the Faculty of Law of the university but the Faculty of Management Sciences in the award letter stated that the ‘prestigious award is usually given to personalities that have contributed to the academic growth, and development of their chosen career, society and humanity.’ This na Julian o. Kai!
The man deserves this and a lot much more. From the day I was introduced to him by my biggest brother, Hon. Chike Ogeah, to this day, I have continued to feel his very pulse on society. From philanthropy to empowerment, Julian continues to touch lives.
Abeg make I no talk again, before people will start to think I want marry him pikin. Congrats my brother. Congrats and well done.
Tiwa Savage, Please Stay Safe
The news crept in during the week that her domestic staff had led a mission to kidnap Ms. Savage. Let it be known that I remain a loyal servant and great admirer of Ms. Savage and as such this news was not received with great aplomb by me.
Ms. Savage has remained an iconic artist and great inspiration of not only the youths but old men like me who continue to wish that she would even as much as smile towards my direction.
So this ‘house girl’ I don’t know why we are giving her a big name – domestic staff- to attempt this dastardly act did not sit well with me and millions of Nigerians. Thankfully the sinister plan was truncated and Ms. Savage was returned to the lovely arms of whoever.
My very strong advice to her is to move to Shomolu with me. You see, life has no duplicate; you are no longer safe in that place. I have one vacant room, my son’s former room where you can stay in safety. We have maiguard on our street and street gate. Our maiguards have whistle such that if that kind thing wants to happen again, they will just be blowing the whistle and everybody will run out and catch the kidnappers.
Please Tiwa come. Please, it’s for your own safety. I really can do a better job than Nigeria Police and Amotekun put together. When you decide, just let me know so that I can come and pick you myself, resign my job so that I can personally be in charge of your security 24 hours. Pele baby, ma fa ra le o. Daddy is on standby, you hear. Kai!
For MRA Elections, Niyi Odusi is My Man
Magodo Estate is on fire. My man Niyi Odusi is gunning for chairmanship and I am standing by him o. Not only me o, even Osa and Niyi are all standing with him and the reason for this is not far-fetched. You see, good governance at the communal level is the very beginning of a renaissance in this country and Niyi of all the candidates that we are seeing in Magodo best describes what I want to believe is our very best chance at communal good governance. Niyi brings to the table over 10 years at Executive management levels in some of the most enduring insurance firms in the country. It is believed that he will be bringing to the table very astute decision making, above the top financial integrity and much more importantly the visioning that will most likely bring about a peaceful coexistence in the estate of over 5,000 units that has long eluded us. Some people say he get big head, he no matter. What matters na the stuff wey dey inside the head. The head no be like Osa own. Simple.
