Babajide ‘Etekamba’ Sanwo-Olu Inauguration Blues

His Excellency walked towards my table where I was sitting with the Duchess and was eyeing one ‘yellow’ Yoruba woman. You know the most beautiful Yoruba women are found at owambe parties. The way they will come out, the make-up, the gele, the uplifted bra, the padded buttocks and the carriage, you will just be opening your mouth. That was how Duchess just nudged me and I looked up and it was High Chief Babajide ‘Etekamba’ Sanwo-Olu in front of me. I have given him an Ibibio name. I will tell you guys the meaning and why later.

He smiled at me, “Duke how are you?” I said “Very well Your Excellency, well-done and congratulations.” He said “thank you.”

I requested to take a picture with him and he obliged me. I stood up in my wrapper. The thing had been threatening to fall down. You know I didn’t wear anything under because my doctor had said I had to be freeing my balls because of testicular cancer. So, I gave His Excellency my phone and started retying the wrapper while the Duchess ran to his side.

When I was through, His Excellency took a very brilliant selfie picture of us. The way His Excellency held my phone, I come dey suspect whether he don do ‘wait and get’ photographer in front of High Court for Igbosere. The way he handled the phone, the angles and the picture quality, I marvelled o. He gave me back my phone and called me ‘bushman’ as he laughed and walked away.

You see, I am enamoured by Etekamba Sanwo-Olu. People do not understand, they still say, “how can you dislike Tinubu so much and love his son so much?” My response is always ‘didn’t people love Absalom and hate David?” Mbok leave me o. The man is relatable, he understands the issues, he is open to advice and he is working. Simple!

I enjoyed my day at the inauguration, met a lot of beautiful people, like the Commissioner for Health, Prof Akin Abayomi, who helped us into the TBS venue which was jam packed and my sister Nonny, who has still not told me her secret and why they allowed her into the governors podium and kicked out a whole Duke of Shomolu complete with wrapper and no underwear. Life. Kai.