GOOD NIGHT, MEKUS EZEIGBO

 Pat Onukwuli pays tribute to his friend, Emeka Ofomata, a good man who passed in April

Bro Mekus, Ezeigbo, as I would call you, it is an understatement to say that I am devastated by the disturbing news of your sudden and painful passage in London, on April 1, 2023. Indeed, dealing with the reality of your loss has been incredibly difficult and emotionally stressful.

However, beyond the grief, I want to take a moment to celebrate the amazing person that you were. You were kind and had a smile that could light up any room. You were an inspiration to me and so many others.

We neither knew each other from the beginning nor attended school together nor had any prior connection until we met at your Just Kitchen Office at Plot 590 Wuse II, Abuja in 1998 on my routine inspections of the property. We bonded at the first meeting and something in me then told me immediately that our friendship will endure. And it did grow straightaway into a meaningful connection that shaped our lives and brought joy. We connected and our friendship extended to our mutual friends and family, creating a robust support system.

In hindsight, the absence of our prior knowledge or connection gave us fresh perspectives that resulted in shared discoveries, unconditional acceptance, mutual curiosity, and profound support. We were also contemporaries in age, and this provided a unique framework for our friendship to thrive. It meant that we were navigating life at similar stages, and this led to united references, understanding, validation, and support.

Our meeting was at the initiation of this current democratic dispensation, more than 24 years ago. Being from the same part of Nigeria, we mulled at options available to our part of the country. We were restless and sought answers for the place of Ndigbo in Nigeria. We were discussing today’s elephant-in-the-room matters concerning Ndigbo like marginalisation and underrepresentation, over-policing and insecurity, poor infrastructure, democratically elected President of Nigeria of southeast extraction and so forth. We were unanimous in our resolution. We agreed that the best strategy for Ndigbo was to be good neighbours to other Nigerians because they will perpetually be within the geographic space called Nigeria.

We concurred that Ndigbo should work hard at being good neighbours by fostering a sense of community, mutual respect, and consideration for other Nigerians. We agreed that Ndigbo needed to respect their neighbour’s personal space, avoid unnecessary intrusion, be more courteous, and avoid inflammatory statements. We settled that Ndigbo are great people, however, they need to communicate their position continually and clearly to other Nigerians. We equally agreed that they are blessed, and should be more generous and sensitive to the plight of other Nigerians. In this way, Ndigbo can coexist in great harmony with others in Nigeria.

These mutual thoughts led at the time to develop what we termed tactical inclusive engagement with Nigeria as the best option for Ndigbo. This philosophy would encompass principles and values that would guide Ndigbo’s interactions and active involvement in various aspects of life, including inter-ethnic relationships, professional endeavours, and community participation. We believed that this inclusive engagement would eventually help in breaking down barriers, dismantle exclusionary practices, and actively seek out diverse voices to create meaningful dialogue, and collaboration.

It was based on this vision that we formed the Association of Igbo Professionals (AIP) a non-profit organisation that represents the interests of Igbo professionals in Nigeria and around the world with you as protem chairman and myself as secretary. We rallied Igbo professionals across various fields, including business, education, medicine, law, engineering, and the arts. AIP worked to provide a platform for Igbo professionals to connect, network, and collaborate on various initiatives and projects aimed at promoting the socio-economic development of the Igbo people and other Nigerians in general. Through its various programmes and activities, AIP embarked on a sustained campaign, communicating the challenges Ndigbo faced and robustly engaged those that attempted to ridicule Ndigbo with hundreds of newspaper and television advertorials. AIP also sought to empower Igbo professionals with the tools, resources, and support they need to succeed in their respective fields. I want to assure you that your aspirations for AIP will live on.

Bro Mekus, Ezeigbo, my bosom friend, we collaborated on so many fronts and it is hard to imagine the world without you. You were so full of life and joy. Your kindness, compassion, and generosity touched the lives of everyone who knew you. You never hesitated to lend a helping hand or offer a word of encouragement to those in need. Your words of wisdom and guidance were a gift that I will never forget. Your strength and your perseverance were an inspiration that I will always respect. You lived life to the very end with honour, truth, and justice, and never wavered in the face of strife. You held fast to your values till the end, and lived a life of purpose and meaning.

On reflection, your transition has brought into focus the impermanence and ephemeral nature of life. It reminds me of my mortality and raises questions about the meaning and purpose of life. These questions do not have easy answers, but they can prompt us to reflect on what matters most to us, and what kind of legacy we want to leave behind. Also, by grappling with the big questions of life and death, we can gain a deeper appreciation for the preciousness of life, the importance of human connection, and the power of meaning and purpose. Questions surrounding death are complex and multifaceted that have been explored by many philosophers throughout history. 

Death continues to mystify and confound. However, one common perspective is that death is a natural part of the cycle of life and that we should not fear it, but instead accept it as a necessary part of our existence.

Bro Mekus, Ezeigbo I will deeply miss you and your friendship. I take comfort in the fact that you will always be with me in spirit. You will always hold a special place in my heart. Though you have gone to a higher plane, your memory will never depart because of the countless lives you touched and the love you shared with everyone you met. I will cherish the moments I shared with you and hold on to your unwavering strength.

May God be with you until we meet to part no more. Rest in eternal peace, knowing that your principles still stand. As Alex MacLean will say in Grave Situation, “Those we love don’t go away. They walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always nearby. Still loved, still”.

Dr Onukwuli writes from Bolton, UK, patonukwuli2003@yahoo.co.uk