Loud Whispers with JOSEPH EDGAR
President Tinubu: It’s No Longer Emilokan
See, this thing is not about limping to Olumo Rock and shouting, “emilokan.” Running Nigeria which has been adjudged a basket case by the federation of Akwa Ibom Witches is not a bag of beans. It cannot be a reward for a 30-year career in political brinkmanship. Running Nigeria is not mobilising people to stand in the line and vote for a jaundiced candidate. It can never be ingenuity in political strategy and ability to win elections no matter what.
There must be a certain understanding of the structures that make up the economy, a powerful political will to take the right decisions at all times, decisions that will impact the greater good and a clear strategy of building consensus and carrying almost all critical stakeholders along.
It can never be by bullying, using legitimate force to cow people, weakening of institutions and carrying out half-baked policies with disastrous consequences and an inability to look back and change course where the resultant effect is not the expected.
President Tinubu has rallied himself into power on the back of his emilokan cry. He had sold a bogey to us: that he was more than prepared and was the best candidate and whether we like it or not, we must choose him. He chose himself and he is our president and until the courts make their declarations, we are stuck with him.
Today, the two major economic drivers have developed galloping epilepsy. Fuel and forex have gone mad, carrying with it inflation which has crossed the 22% mark. Job losses, skyrocketing cost of living, food inflation and economic stagflation are our lot and we are still shouting emilokan.
What I am even hearing is that currently, it is only the NNPCL that is importing and all others are taking from them on the back of one contract that was signed long ago, and that by the time the contract expires in September, it will be all out bedlam.
My people, let me advise Mr. Tinubu. He needs to urgently do the following – defend the naira, phase out the subsidy removal, bring back some form of subsidy to hold down the price of fuel, at least, for another six months, keep the naira at this rate by shoring up the supply side. Move troops to the creeks in a bid to shore up production. I hear we are doing only 900,000 barrels as against two million. The war is now in the creeks- the Army, Navy, DSS everybody should enter that place so that we shore up the supply side.
Beg diaspora to throw in some more funds, give incentives from this. Let’s double the diaspora remittances, reduce taxes on domestic economy but shore up taxes on luxury goods, tourism, irrelevant travel and the rest. Reduce duties on medical equipment and other essentials.
Much more importantly, reduce the cost of governance. Reduce the 40 aides to five, cancel the reported N70 billion “furniture allowance,” reduce cost of running the National Assembly and this our unique democracy and declare a state of economic emergency – austerity measures. Cut international travel by the president and outrightly ban all public officials from overseas travel except funded by themselves.
If you cannot do this and more, then be man enough to say, “I have come, I have fulfilled my ambition and Nigerians deserve better, let me retire to a nice life of agbado-eating and put my leg up.”
We are in big trouble, I swear.
Regina Daniels in the Association of Senators’ Wives’ Forum?
You know her oga used to know how to use the police to drag critics. So let me state it very clearly that this write-up is not about the very beautiful Nollywood vixen that is today a distinguished wife of a senator, but about a post she made on Instagram which announced her appointment as Social Secretary of Senators’ Wives’ Forum of the 10th Assembly as convened by their “mother” the very beautiful and distinguished wife of our Senate President, the highly respected Akwa Ibom man and uncommon politician, Senator Godswill Akpabio
As I saw the report, tears welled in my eyes. Another jamboree of overfed and almost bored women who just happened to share bedrooms with a group of Nigerians that we have allowed to call themselves senators.
That picture brought to mind the pictures of “tapping” of crude oil that they showed us. You know how pipes are attached to the main crude oil flow pipes and from there, our collective wealth is sucked out. Na so this contraption will be to the budget of the Senate and by extension our commonwealth.
They say they want to work for the “growth of the country” – whatever that means among other things. Me, I just tire because this one just reminds me of the jamborees, our military despots’ wives used to do that time – better life for this and that and we all later saw whose better life they were wearing all that ankara for.
It is not only senators’ wives o, all sort of leeching associations – wives of Lagos State public officials, wives of traders under Iya Oloja, husbands of presidential aides. My people, e be like say this Tinubu is just looking at this thing as one giant political campaign ground where everybody is wearing aso oke and dancing to Kwam 1. We are in serious trouble, I tell you.
Babajide Sanwo-Olu, Lagos is Falling
Bro, how you dey na? I just say I should talk to you very gently. I have been sending text messages but you have not been replying. I know it will not be easy for you as the whole world would be craving for your attention. I just said, I should put that one out there before they say, “Duke you have access, why go public.”
Egbon, Lagos is falling o. Is it because of the court cases challenging your election that has made you slow down? If that is it, forget about it. You will emerge victorious. You won the elections fair and square. How you won na another episode for the series but for now, you won.
Bro, abeg let’s start working again. Lagos is falling apart. Have you gone to Festac, Amuwo up to the Badagry stretch? E be like a war zone. E be like where Russian and Ukrainian soldiers dey fight.
Someone reached out to me during the week, “Duke help me shout. I live in Festac and nothing is happening. The roads are despicable, waste all over the place, infrastructural decay and desolation.” I say bro, wetin be your name and he gave me a moniker -motiwa, motilo. I laughed, but he had made his point.
Another person opined that the elections must have taken its toll on state finance and that the state will have to reflate before any meaningful development stride can be undertaken. Na wa.
Your Excellency, if you have seen that movie – London is Falling – na so Lagos is falling. The whole state is looking like one big garbage dump. You have to sit up o and show us your power. We have seen this power before and we know you have power. Oya unleash am o, we dey wait. Na wa.
Gov. Abiodun Oyebanji, Kindly Steer Clear
Bro, please kindly steer clear of this matter. Asking us to give Asiwaju some time and to be patient is a very “rude” statement under the circumstances. We like you, in fact I personally like your demeanour, your approach to governance and very importantly your common touch which has made you very popular in your state.
But putting mouth in this matter? Please sir, just leave it. Do not let us drag you or make you drop from our very popular list. Petrol at over N600 and still climbing? Inflation at 22%? Dollar at N800? Do you realise that Naira fell by N100 in one week?
You think it’s a popularity game? These are people’s lives we are toying with all because one man has screamed it is his turn. Do you know that millet is now N60,000 per bag and that the poor in the North can no longer afford it? Do you know that people are dying needlessly and are eating grass?
My brother, please I beg you. Leave this thing. I personally like you that is why I am not being harsh. Do you know the implications of this on health, security, jobs? Do you know that I lost someone who could not afford ICU treatment for his wife because by the time he raised the N600,000 bill they gave him four weeks earlier, the bill had hit N1.5m?
If you cannot boldly look your master in the face and say that this is the worst first 90 days of any government in Nigeria economically, then just relax. Go to Ikogosi Warm Springs and relax. You know the point where hot and cold water meet, just roll up your trousers and sit there. Put one leg in hot and one leg in cold and pray for Nigeria. Thank you, baba, no vex, there is anger in the land.
For Akinwumi Ambode, It’s a Predicted Rebirth
Did you guys see the picture of my all time favourite, Akinwunmi Ambode with the President during the week? This was long coming and we could see the whole thing play very strategically before our very eyes.
First was his 60th birthday. My other brother Sanwo-Olu appeared and pictures were taken and spread all over the media with glee. The rehabilitation had started and we smiled. The next was the big ceremony that Lagos hosted for the big Masquerade of Agbado land and he was there in a very strategic picture which saw him with the President, his predecessor- Fashola and his successor Sanwo of Shomolu. Finally, we see the picture of him with the President.
I am hearing strategic rumours. I don’t know if I should mention it or not. Let me keep quiet before I go and jinx the whole thing. All I will say is that you cannot keep a brilliant man with a sound mind down for too long.
Ambode is today one of the most astute public administrators, a seasoned accountant and a man of clarity. Unbent in his resolve for the greater good and his love for the common man, I knew that it was only a matter of time before they looked for him. Well done my egbon, the struggle continues.
Tobi Amusan: A Depressing Turn of Event
This Tobi sprinter abi hurdler is our mascot. She, with the footballer in Italy, Hilda Baci, Davido, Burna, Wizkid and others, arrowhead the growing influence Nigeria now has on the world stage.
Today, Nigeria is being heralded in sports, music, entrepreneurship and outlook. Other nationals want to be us and that is the contradiction. While we are here shouting ourselves hoarse as to the nothingness of our heritage, others are loving us and wanting to be like us. Kenyan women are loving our men and South African men are beating up our men because they cannot compete.
So you can imagine my sadness at the news of the suspension of my girl as a result of “ anti-doping” something. This young lady fired our imaginations in athletics and has since then carried herself with the pride and dignity that comes with being a true blooded Nigerian.
I pray that this is quickly resolved and she gets back to her winning ways. I no dey like to hear this kind things abeg. Thank you.
Samuel Ortom: This is Unbelievable
I have read the report three times in disbelief. A man who could not pay salaries for months on end gave himself 30 cars as retirement benefit? And when the state government went to seize them, he cried injustice?
Oh my God!!! Which kind of country is this na. This is worse than George Orwell’s Animal Farm. Kai. This is really sad and very painful. A state that has been rendered desolate as a result of the combined forces of visionless administration and the rampant insecurity leaving the people worse off after his tenure? And he rewards himself with 30 cars?
Na car dealer? What does he want to do with all of those cars? Does he want to open a transport company in retirement or a haulage firm? Mbok, I just tire for this one. I really tire. Na wa.
I am happy that the Benue State Government is doing the needful if the reports we are seeing are to be believed. Please go ahead and seize all and tie them in red tape such that even if as his spokesman has said that his ownership is as a result of the State Assembly law, he would still find it very difficult to secure their release.
This is what in Ibibio we call, “ataka re.”
A Belated Shout out for Akin Akinfemiwa
Akin is the Managing Director at Femi Otedola’s Geregu. He is a first-class brain and very cerebral. He has arrowhead very strategic moves within the power and finance sectors, plus oil and gas, and has created massive impacts in those sectors.
It was his birthday the other day and he was roundly celebrated by very prominent Nigerians including his principal Mr. Femi Otedola. Happy birthday my man and God bless you richly.
