THISDAY LIFE LESSON ELDER: LIFE CAN BE BRUTAL AND UNFAIR

REFLECTIONS –SERIES 01

For reasons I have not been able to place a handle on, I have been drawn to spending more time with two categories of individuals. The first set consists essentially of  people in the twilight of their lives, elderly people who have seen it all and patiently waiting to travel to the great beyond. Spending time with this set of individuals always generates some form of reflections. The more time I spend talking with them, the more I realise that most of the things people spend time chasing in their earlier years of life pale into insignificance as they get closer to their maker. People in that category hardly talk of things; rather they talk more about spiritual things, spending time with loved ones, and making contributions in different areas of life without expecting to be paid back. Not many in that stage of life place much value on the acquisition of material things or struggling to be known. They don’t talk about investment in various instruments and such stuff.

The other set of people I spend more time with are those who were once in positions of prominence in the country but who, for one reason or the other, found themselves in the valley. They did not have to deserve it, but life dealt blows to them beyond which they could fend off. Books on success are plentiful on the shelves of many bookshops. You hardly find displayed on the shelves of bookshops books of individuals who tell the stories of their lives in the valley. We should show appreciation when we find individuals who are willing to let us into their notes while in the low levels of their lives.

One such individual, who incidentally, fit into the two categories is an elder on the THISDAY LIFE LESSONS platform, who was a prominent figure in Nigeria in the early 1980s. He was instrumental in building a national scheme that has stood the test of time and has continued to unite Nigerians. For this THISDAY LLS elder, his career in the Nigerian military would appear to have been brewed from heaven, destined to race to a great and glorious finish. Trained in the best military institutions locally and abroad, he left bold and sterling footprints everywhere he was posted. His colleagues regarded him as a model; his superiors considered him a rising star, the man with the Midas touch. In his first three years as the head of that national institution he created, our elder was described as an ‘Angel’, a man of impeccable character. But in a sudden twist, the octogenarian witnessed a reversal of fortune that saw him cascading down from the pinnacle of comfort into a jailhouse where he spent seven years and 56 days before he was released. Charged with allegations that rocked the nation, he found himself in a world that seemed far removed from hope. But little did he know this dark chapter would be the catalyst for incredible transformations and invaluable life lessons.

We have been discussing for quite a long time the possibility of his sharing the insights he gained from his time in prison. Last week when I brought up the topic again, he gave a nod. Here are the first parts of the notes he shared with me. We will run the second set  next week. Please read slowly-and reflectively.

NUGGET #1: LIFE CAN BE BRUTAL AND UNFAIR

The urine stench, bedbug bites, mosquitoes, skin infections, pneumonia, malaria, hard labour, the feeling of injustice and betrayal, the isolation, watery beans, dark room, body odours, overcrowded room, torture, insults, deaths, the negative name tags, physical and emotional breakdown, the prison, especially here in Nigeria, is never a place anyone goes and return the same.

Forget the name change from Nigerian Prisons to ‘correctional centre’, if there were ever any corrections, it’s most likely to have hardened you to become more criminally minded or strong-headed to survive the hostile world. You would be returned if you lived through your jail time.

It bites harder if you were like me, jailed for an accusation you are innocent of. A thick dark cloud envelopes your emotions, and your life becomes hell when the system decides to play deaf to your innocence irrespective of how loud it screams.

The silent tears, the burning agitation to clear your good name which you have spent all your life building, stains on your integrity, the fear of losing your family during your absence, your inability to protect them in isolation, the stigma on your family name, the sleepless nights of regrets, the thirst for revenge, are few of the friends that will mostly remain stuck with you in jail, with the potential of bringing in more harmful friends. All these I survived, but how?

NUGGET # 2: TRUE FREEDOM IS FROM WITHIN

The concept of the prison yard is to take away every form of freedom from its occupants. The restrictive high walls, the chains, the bars. All of these are to cage your physical body and mind in such a way that you end up broken and defeated. 

The reverse was the case for me. I saw the prison cell as an abode of God himself. To me, he was physically present in the cell, and living with him, I had a taste of heaven in the jailhouse. It could not have been better than that. Assimilate all this and take it in tandem with your idea of freedom, you could never have had more freedom than that in any part of the world. 

The fact is that freedom took on a different meaning. The prison’s restrictive high walls disappeared. You saw those who sought to tame you as clowns because you lived higher above them. You became a Gulliver and they were Lilliputians. It was an irony, but it was true. Yes, lilliputians work with circus animals. It was so humorous; you had the fun of your life.

This event played out during medical checkups. Occasionally, I had to see a doctor, and that required a trip to the hospital. It provided an opportunity to explore. I never did any of that. In fact, I was always in a hurry to return to the prison yard. This surprised the warders and earned me the moniker “Sarkin Hankuri” loosely translated into English, as “the patient one” or “King of patience.”

NUGGET # 3: GOD INTERVENES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS EVEN DURING BAFFLING AFFLICTIONS

As my relationship with God grew, He started giving me revelations. One significant revelation that I received while in prison was during my wife’s visit. Given that my former employer was providing for my daily needs, I discouraged my wife from taking the tedious trip to Sokoto to visit me. It was also believed that I would soon be acquitted. But when it seemed my homecoming was taking too long, my wife decided to visit me. This was almost after a year of no visitation. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that her journey was going to be a fateful one.

I couldn’t take this. I went on my knees to plead with the Lord to remove whatever could constitute a danger in her way. When she came, I did not hide my displeasure, she ought not to have come. Besides, she used a vehicle I had warned her not to use.

We jointly prayed over her return trip, and I insisted she should go straight to Ilorin without detours. The driver was cautioned not to exceed 100 kph.

She drove off in the morning but still had an accident six kilometres from Kontagora. The car was a write-off, and no one believed a fly could have escaped from that car.

Two of my sons were in the car. The elder drove and had his seat belt on. The younger sat in the front passenger seat but was not strapped down. Their mum was in the back seat. They lost three tyres at the same time; two in front, one behind. The driver lost control; the vehicle somersaulted several times before coming to a halt.

My boy who drove had lacerations on his chest, otherwise, he was fine. His brother was thrown out of the car through the windscreen, knocked his head on the ground and was unconscious bleeding from the mouth, the ears and the nostrils. Their mum had multiple fractures; her leg was pinned down by the seat.

A good Samaritan on his way to Kontagora stopped barely 10 minutes after the accident and helped the victims to the General Hospital Kontagora. They remained there a few days before they were transferred to the teaching hospital at Ilorin where the younger boy regained consciousness. My wife chose to be attended to by local bone setters.

By the time news about the accident reached me in Sokoto, the boys had been transferred to St. Nicholas Hospital, Lagos and were to be discharged a few days later.

When I went to Kontagora to recover the carcass of the car involved in the accident, a Reverend Father saw me and looking at the car, he said: “I hope that the occupants of this vehicle were given good Christian burials.” I laughed and told him, “Father, this boy,” pointing at my son, “drove the car that fateful day. His brother, now in Federal Government College, Ilorin, was in the car. Their mum, I left her at home this morning, was the third person in the car. You see, no one has been buried.”

He said, “It is incredible. This is a miracle.”

Beyond the miraculous recovery from the accident, God also revealed to me that my time in the prison yard would soon be over. I told a major who was brought in during my time there that I would soon leave the place because he was sympathetic that my exit time was uncertain. And truly, I left him in that place.

These experiences reaffirmed my trust in God that He will take care of me and never forsake me in times of trouble. Through these revelations, I learned to listen to Him when He speaks and take action when He reveals certain things to me.

We conclude next week.

QUOTE

The silent tears, the burning agitation to clear your good name which you have spent all your life building, stains on your integrity, the fear of losing your family during your absence, your inability to protect them in isolation, the stigma on your family name, the sleepless nights of regrets, the thirst for revenge, are few of the friends that will mostly remain stuck with you in jail, with the potential of bringing in more harmful friends. All these I survived, but how?