Ice Cube, Not ‘Ice Block’

Expression Ebere Wabara

DAILY Independent Online publication of July 11 verbalized ignorance: “Police tear gas fuel-price mob” Fracas: ‘tear gas’ is an uncountable noun—not a verb. So, Police use tear gas on fuel-price mob

“…Nigerians will have no reasons to be desperate about migrating to other lands.” My view: end the sentence at ‘migrating’! There is no need for ‘to other lands’.

Now the Editorial which circulated three solecisms: “…in it’s (its) latest 10-year forecast….”

“…in the last quarter of 2022 to between N1,700 to (and) N2,000 in 2023.”

“The truth is that the insight provided by industry watchers, non-state actors and watch-dog (watchdog) groups in the construction industry appear (appears) to confute….”

Lastly from the Back Page: “…he has literarily (literally) set his new agenda on 2027…pitching (pitting) himself against the NGF….”

Daily Trust of July 10 goofed: “The recurrent confrontation between ASUU and the Federal Government can best be described as a game of hide-and-seek.” An insight: …be described as hide-and-seek.

Let us welcome National Daily to this column. Its July 8-12 edition showed the character of the newspaper with many headline blunders: “Controversy trails passage of bill on N20bn bond: None involvement of public condemned” Building a new culture: non-involvement

“Abia losses (loses) internal revenue source”

“Oil theft: PENGASSAN, NUPENG, (what is this comma for?) give FG 60 days (60-day or 60 days’) ultimatum”

“Chinese is (are) taking over our businesses—Manufacturers”

“Tinubu raises curiousity to deliver on infrastructure” What is the meaning of this? Spell-check: curiosity

“Tension mounts over Ijaw/itsekiri tribal (ethnic) clash”

“IGP assures adequate security” Who did he assure?

Finally from National Daily: “….bemoans the poor performance of students” Educational standard: students’ poor performance

“Gun men kill soldier in Edo” (NIGERIAN PILOT Front Page Headline, July 9) Before the paper crashes: Gunmen

“People who for one reason or the other (or another) are unable to observe it either in full or part are required….” The extract is restrictive (limiting to two) while the correction gives a broad latitude.

“Nigerians in Diaspora seeks (why?) tax waiver for home investments”

From the Back Page of The Guardian: “Come (In) 2026, many occupants of elective offices will constitutionally relinquish their positions.” Except for Apocalypse or other rapturous manifestations, 2026 will come!

THISDAY of July 8 disseminated advertorial and editorial faults: “Silverbird in conjuction (conjunction) with the Bayelsa State Tourism Development Agency presents….”

Next are the following four indiscretions: “…Dr. Okonjo-Iweala said the country is (was) losing around (about) 300,000 barrels of crude daily to oil thieves, amounting to a loss of $1 billion per month ($1 billion monthly).”

“Yet so massive is the crime that the JTF last week discovered another sets (another set or other sets, depending on the fact of the matter) of crude oil loading points in three communities in Bayelsa State.”

“Cost of funds drop (drops) on cash inflow”

“…the Lagos State Government has initiated a process that will deliver at least 900 million litres of portable (potable) water to homes in different part (parts) of the state.”

“Your election as the new (would it have been old?) President of ARSO is a testimony of (to) your giant strides in….” (Full-page advertisement signed by the managements of Promadaz Industries Ltd. & Macpee Agencies Ltd.) 

The July 9 edition of THE NATION ON SUNDAY failed to show why it is Nigeria’s widest circulating newspaper with a few blunders starting from its window: “NSA orders probe, more troops deployed to (in) Yobe”

Now this schoolboy howler: “Despite the fact that 54 out of the reported 175 prisoners that escaped from the Olokuta prison have been re-arrested, the bitter truth (pill) is that prisons in the nation are not well secured.”

“In a desperate last minute (last-minute) bid to beat the NCC June 30th deadline….”

“School holds inter house (inter-house) cultural competition”

THISDAY, THE SATURDAY NEWSPAPER, of July 8 goofed on a few occasions: “Community gives Mobil 21 day (21-day) ultimatum to pay N4bn oil spill (oil-spill) compensation”

“…an incident that have (has) been mired in controversy”

“…a centre that will offer retirees across the state antidotes for (to) boredom and solitude after three decades of active public service.”

Lastly from THISDAY: “But like (as) I said, you don’t know what God plans.”

The next six Offences are from THE GUARDIAN of June 18: “That’s why renowned scholars from top-rated citadels of learning around the world would be converging in (on) Ekiti State….” (Full-page advertisement by the Government of Ekiti State)

“Nigeria (Nigeria’s) food import reduce (reduces) by N857b, says Adesina”

“This way you stay connected to our world class (world-class) audio and video channels.” (Full-page advertisement by DStv)

“MTN Project Fame 6.0 All-Stars Concerts” (Full-page advertisement by MTN) Everywhere you go: All-star concerts

Still on advertorials in THE GUARDIAN of June 18 with Standard Chartered offering the next two identical blunders: “Its (It’s) good when a relationship can help you achieve what truly matters” 

“Connect to the worlds (world’s) most dynamic markets” 

THE GUARDIAN on Saturday of July 1 nurtured two sub-headline blunders: “Southeast bound (Southeast-bound) passengers stranded at Lagos Airport”

“JTF says Kano not under any threat, as it deploys armoured vehicles on (to) major streets”

“Facilities at AOCOED excites (why?) NCCE team”

“I had it rough at (in) the beginning—Proprietress, Carol School”

“CSR: Between philantropy and palliatives” Brands and marketing: philanthropy”

“…Toure’s kids’ gloves treatment of the Tuareg rebels (rebels’) insurgence as its main reason to….” (Editorial) All the facts, all the sides: kid gloves.

“Woman arrested for killing mum” It is obvious that the sub-editor who treated this story has never heard of ‘matricide’! So, woman arrested for matricide.

“The elevation of some police officers and retirement of 13 Assistant Inspectors General has (have) led to some bad blood (delete the word preceding bad blood) in the force….” Elevation and retirement are distinct milestones that cannot be collapsed into singularity! 

“When Hafeez Ringim, then an Assistant Inspector General (a comma) was elevated to the rank of Inspector General (another comma) all his seniors (DIGs) had to retire.” Not true: they were retired to pave way for the Ringim ultimate disaster!

“You have undoubtedly brought to bear stability and credibility to (on) the National Assembly.”

“My dear distinguish Senator Akpabio…Indeed, we are celebrating a statesman whose dedication and service to his fatherland is (are) worthy of emulation.” On the plateau: My (Our) dear distinguished Senator….  

“Your unassailable wisdom and sterling qualities have made you stand out as trustworthy and reliable leader.” Happy Birthday: a (note the article) trustworthy and reliable leader. 

“Your ability to work out (answer/do) knotty political puzzles…makes you worth (worthy) of emulation.”  

“Indeed, its (it’s) really a pleasure working with you….” (From The Senators of the 10th National Assembly of the Federal Republic of Nigeria) 

“…so he could not have seen fire and tell (told) me to put my hand.” Alternatively, he cannot see fire and tell me to put my hand.

“…the APGA governorship candidate in Abia State at (in) the 2023 elections….”

“Why change your wardrobe every five minutes while all it takes is a different accessories.” All it takes are different accessories.