THISDAY LIFE LESSON ELDER: FORGIVE AND LET GOD DECIDE

REFLECTIONS –SERIES 02

Two weeks ago, the first part of a conversation with one of the senior citizens on the THISDAY LIFE LESSON platform was published, where he shared three of the lessons he learnt and his experiences in the prison house where he spent seven years and 56 days before he was released. In this edition we shall proceed to share the nuggets. Please read on.

NUGGET # 4: FORGIVE AND LET GOD DECIDE
Four years ago when I first interviewed our guest, even though he tried to describe his prison experiences in the mildest way possible, suggesting that he had forgiven the individual whom he said jailed him unjustly I could still sense a spirit of resentment over what had happened.
The issue of forgiveness or unconditional love is a tough one especially when you are expected to love an individual who in the first instance wronged you.
Jesus in the Christian Bible laid the condition for forgiveness very clearly: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are the tax collectors not doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Don’t pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect”Matthew 5:43-48
Jesus was talking of unconditional love here. In an extension of that message on love, Jesus even admonished his followers to turn the other cheek if they are hit on the first-instead of a revenge. It has remained a hard injunction to follow.

   A very prominent Christian leader while preaching on that same subject told his congregation point blank that he would not even allow the enemy to hit the first cheek and according to him if he succeeded by a mistake to slap him, he would return it seven times. That shows how tough the instruction is to the uninitiated. Our elder was also caught up in this complex injunction for some time and each time we discussed the issue of total forgiveness he always nodded affirming its importance. But something happened a couple of months back. Our elder did a personal note to me sharing with me his final decision to unconditionally forgive his jailer. We both agreed that holding someone in your hear for too long hurts you more than the person you are resenting.

In one of the notes he shared with me two weeks ago, he expressed his thoughts this way: “I have had reasons to seek revenge, but I have chosen to forgive and let God decide. I have concluded I have survived not because I am some expert at devising infallible survival techniques that would without fail, transport one over all conceivable obstacles, but because the Almighty God holds firmly to the promise that I received on the 4th of July 1984.
Due to this reason, I have learnt to forgive those who have hurt me badly. From those who accused me wrongly to those who owe me and who want to hold on to what they are withholding. They are free to do so. I make no more claims. Let the Lord decide.
I learnt this over a long period of reflections that when you forgive those who have offended you from your heart, you are actually doing yourself a lot of good. I would say I have maintained good health because I have learnt to let go. Our elder is 88 and he drives himself and also does virtually everything by himself. He says he is health and would like to attribute this to the fact that he had chosen to cleanse his heart of any toxicity associated with unforgiveness. If you are Christian, you cannot but forgive whomsoever must have wronged you.

I want to note on forgiveness and the importance of letting God guide you through every path
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Or, shall I relate the near-tragic incident where I was driving and was stopped at a police checkpoint, and when the police passed me, I moved without noticing that a little girl had chosen at that same time to cross the road? She was knocked down by the car, but she emerged uninjured.
I have a lot more occurrences like these, but my ability to forgive and let go of things that hurt me has in return spoken grace for me in the sight of God. Those who owe me and who want to hold on to what they are withholding, are free to do so. I make no more claims, let God take the wheel. This is the level of contentment I have attained in Christ now.
I have decided now, to go after what is right in the sight of the lord which gives me fulfilment and peace of mind. If I do not get into a monastery to live out what is left of my life, I will partner with an old friend to live a semi-monastic life, doing whatever good that we can to those in need and waiting for the day of the Lord. This is contentment, living a life free of worries but hinged on God’s directives. With God there’s love and peace that supersedes all human understand, and I say ……all is always well!!!!!!

The Federal government, for some reasons best known to them, decided to stop feeding prisoners. I was not in the least disturbed. But see what happened. At this same time, the Sokoto branch of the organisation I was working for then discovered that I was in prison there. The State Coordinator and three of his senior staff came to see me. From that day, a member of staff of that company came very early every day, to the prison, to ask me what I needed for the day. Hence, he bought all the food raw from the market and delivered it through the prison governor to the kitchen to be prepared for me. I told my wife to stop coming to Sokoto. I was in good hands, she should take care of the family.

This proved to me again that the Holy One would never forsake his children in times of need has not forgotten me. Once you have that faith in Him, He will always show up when you need him the most.

NUGGET # 5 :DEVELOP A HABIT OF PRAYING
One good thing about the prison is that you can devote your time to prayers without being distracted. Isolated as you are from the rest of society, you could focus 100% of your attention on your spiritual development.
Many persons often overlook the power of prayer. It can be an arduous task to many with little faith and even those who claim to have a strong belief in God can be discouraged during difficult times.
While in Ikoyi prison, I developed a habit of praying fervently. It was one of my prison mates , Mr. Olu, that suggested we pray every midnight. This was around May 1984, we agreed and I became the group timekeeper, waking all up at midnight. We remained faithful to the program till we were separated in March 1985. I began my personal vigil in September 1985, in Sokoto and it has remained a permanent feature in my life.

The exercise was spiritually rewarding and it was a perfect way to get started on what the day had to offer. If you accompany that from the outset with fasting, the result would be spectacular.

NUGGET # 6: TRUST YOUR NEIGHBOUR BUT BEAR IN MIND YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.
This is like an evergreen lesson : for it was first shared in my first interview with our elder four years ago. I learnt this the hard way during my ordeal and that was why I came up with that lesson. If you trust your neighbor, you might be disappointed, reasons be that I have always trusted people, and it has always ended up in bitter disappointment. Let me illustrate with my first experience in elementary school, I learnt the lessons the teacher taught us, and I believed in the teachings word for word and practiced especially the moral lessons. There was a day I saw two boys quarrelling and I told them that teachers said we should not fight, why don’t you stop? I tried to pacify them, but I couldn’t and what came to my mind as a young boy was to put myself between the two parties. And, as I did that I received general blows from both parties. But one of the boys went home and told his mother that I teamed up with the other boy to beat him up. The boy’s mother, then, went to report to the head teacher that I teamed up with the boy to beat his son up. The story was twisted completely. I still remember vividly in 1945, when the head teacher stripped me naked in the class and gave me 24 strikes of the cane. For doing no wrong! The real truth known to the two boys was that I was trying to stop them from hurting each other. That was my first experience. Up till this time, I could not explain why that would happen.

The second one was a reverend gentleman who accused me of something I didn’t do. He didn’t stop there; he preached a sermon about it on Sunday. But something I noticed about those things was that each time it happened, God always stepped in and elevated me to a higher level where I believe he wants me to forget the whole issues. But I still remember because my memory is not blotted out. That was the second one.

Then came the accusation of contracts in the organisation I worked for. I had nothing to do with the contracts, not because I didn’t have the power to do so, but I just felt that my primary duty in the comapny was to change the scheme to make it more effective and more relevant to the growth of Nigeria. I was not concerned about awarding contracts. My goal was to use the money provided to make sure that the Scheme met its objectives. And the monies voted to the scene were spent on what they were allocated for. I made sure all the allocations were spent on what they were meant for; they were not wasted. The money that was spent didn’t come from our allocations at all; it came from a different source, a source I didn’t even know existed. There was a different financial window between the Central Bank of Nigeria and the Scheme. We had a facility where departments could go outside their budgetary allocations to spend money. I was not aware of all those; yet I was punished for something i had no idea about.

So that’s why I say trust your neighbour but always remember, you might be disappointed, so don’t get angry when you are.

So, I am not saying I was not found guilty, but I am saying the Tribunals were illegal, as the laws were backdated. So, if you are found guilty by a kangaroo court, you are not guilty because you were not tried under proper legal conditions. Thus, I was not guilty of anything. I was just punished for what I didn’t do.sl

QUOTE

“I have had reasons to seek revenge, but I have chosen to forgive and let God decide. I have concluded I have survived not because I am some expert at devising infallible survival techniques that would without fail, transport one over all conceivable obstacles, but because the Almighty God holds firmly to the promise that I received on the 4th of July 1984.