Loud Whispers

Shut NYSC Down Now!

One Nigerian’s life lost makes the remaining 200 million useless. That is a fact whether we like it or not. Go and see how Americans will shut down the country for one life. They will release 1,000 terrorists in exchange for one American life but here we are just playing ludo with our lives.

The Nigerian life is worthless to authorities. Doesn’t even worth a mention.

The youth corper is now a serial soft target of kidnappers, murderers and ritualists. Their bright white and brown khaki stand them out as targets for this set of people who drink blood on a daily basis.

Today we are struggling with news of 13 youth corp members from Akwa Ibom who were kidnapped in Zamfara on their way to Sokoto. The kidnappers have been reported to have asked for some money and the parents struggled to make N13m payment in two tranches only for the kidnappers to raise the ransom to N200m.

A call by one of the parents to authorities met up with a stern “I am in a meeting.”

See, if the NYSC cannot protect just one corper then there is no need abeg. Corpers are now targets for everything, they are the ones they beat up during elections, they are the ones they rape everywhere and murdered and all we here is “we will fish out…” fish out ko, snail out ni.

The whole idea of the NYSC is defeated. People are not allowing their children to leave Lagos or their immediate vicinity. Do you blame them? All sorts of things are being done to ensure that “na Lagos we will all serve” so why continue the scheme?

Please shut it down NOW!!! I beg ooooo, shut it down now and look for these 13 children o!!! ohhhh mbok kai

APC, NURTW, NLC: I Belong to No One

I got a call during the week. “Edgar, you are aware that there is a struggle for the leadership of the NURTW in Abuja which has led to loss of lives.” I responded ok… How does that concern me, thinking that maybe it is the picture I took with MC Oluomo at Sanwo-Olu’s inauguration that will be causing this one now o.

For me, NURTW is not in my consciousness. Whatever they mean to their leaders and their members and their champions doesn’t really bother me. But I listened.

 “Edgar, we want to get on ARISE TV. At a meeting of a faction of NURTW and NLC and APC it was agreed that we should take our case to the people and we believe that ARISE TV is the best medium.

“So, I mentioned your name at the tripartite meeting and immediately there was a wave of opposition. They say you are an OBIdient, that you are Rufai Oseni’s friend and that they are waiting for you.”

She continued: “I didn’t tell them I know you like that o as I listened. They said, is he not that one that used to do events in Lagos and was hyping Rufai all over the place, he is OBIdient o.”

My people, laugh nearly killed me. See, I belong to no one. I belong to the very few in this country that are not liked by the three- APC, LP and PDP.

Let me state it here very categorically, I think all three are leprous fingers of the same hand. See what I heard recently, until the elections. Obi’s lawyers were INEC lawyers and Atiku’s lawyers represented Tinubu at the tribunal. You see my people; they are all the same and struggling to protect just one thing – self-interest and a continued hegemony and oppression of Nigerians.

I can never be an OBIdient, at my age I will be a fool to be one. For me, PDP would have been my natural abode but the seeming headlessness, especially in the run up to the elections, just scattered my head. For APC, you all know where I stand.

What we need in this country is true and robust reforms leading to genuine electoral reforms. If we do not reform the electoral process, we will continue to throw up feeble leadership.

I think it’s time someone came and beat me because I will never agree with this one. Thank you.

Femi Falana: A Brilliant Mind

I have seen this Oga only two times in my life. The first at the University of Ibadan as a starry-eyed Political Science student. He had come to give a speech and I think it was on the back of one of those student agitations which in hindsight, didn’t really make sense. He was young and was just starting out in activism and the fire although there, wasn’t really hot like that. I think he came with Gani Fawehinmi who was a fiery speaker and who took the crowd.

The second time was at the offices of Chief Gani Fawehinmi. I had replied to an advert seeking a personal assistant to a “big man”. I had just finished my masters in Political Science at the University of Lagos and the advert asked for law or political science graduates.

As I walked in, I saw Gani, Beko and Femi and I changed my mind instantly. Me, I did not come to this world to suffer. That time, the three of them spent more time in prison than with their wives. I used to wonder what time they even had to procreate since every time you saw them, they were jumping in and out of blackmaria.

I greeted them and thanked them for the opportunity and shook them and ran back to Shomolu o. I no come wear Ankara dey fight soldier for this world.

Almost 30 years later, I finally got the good fortune of meeting Mr. Falana again and guys, the man blew my head. The gist moved very easily from jurisprudence to politics and entertainment. His phones kept ringing and he was on the verge of travelling so although the discussion was “sweet” the interruptions did not make me really enjoy it like that.

“I will sue” was his response to one of my cracks about my jabbing him in my column, the steely look in his eyes drove a cold shudder down my spine.

My people, I am sorry I cannot say wetin we talk, I don’t have money to pay lawyer for this “agbado” economy, if you want to hear, please drive to his office, it is beside Ikeja cantonment and a gray building. Just enter and say, “I am looking for Femi Falana” and they will show you his office. It is upstairs and to the right. Madam own is to the left and sit down and ask him “Sir, what did you tell Duke of Shomolu when he came? He will use his own mouth to tell you. Thank you.

Adekunle Fajuyi: An Important Revisit

I had gone to support Governor Sanwo-Olu in Shomolu. I was “Igbo” to the miscreants. The fact that I was born there some 54 years ago and had lived with them for 48 years and at the last count, have dated over 22 Yoruba women before I married a Yoruba wife – Mofoluwake Oriyomi Edgar and berth Yoruba children – Olusola, Erinoluwa and -kai I don forget the last one.

Anyway, as far as these thugs were concerned, I was Igbo and must be flogged and pushed out of the polling station. As they lifted their canes, I raised my hand and shouted like that baba in Jagun Jagun “agerooooo” and he froze.

My people, that period, ethnic dislike was rife. The Igbos were coming to take over Lagos and they went and brought a Yoruba boy who had an Igbo wife and mother.

Ethnic distrust was at its highest, possibly the highest since the civil war. Lagos had to be rescued from the “kobokobo” “ awon igbo.” The sentiment was high even my lawyer friend who is a SAN and who should know better was also screaming.

Then the story of Fajuyi hit me. He was Yoruba from Ekiti who was Governor of Western Nigeria and in whose house the coupists had come to abduct his guest who now happened to be an Igbo general and Head of State.

He said, “kill me with him” … He was a Yoruba man and he was an Igbo man and they killed him. 

Have we learnt from the sacrifice? Have we?

Dapo Abiodun: What Manner of Man?

That His Excellency is so unpopular in Ogun State is simply stating the obvious. Bros is so unpopular that he has started fighting enemies, both real and perceived.

The other day, we saw bulldozers bring down a huge plaza reported to be owned by Yeye Daniel, the wife of a sitting senator and former Governor of the state. The official position shows a litany of misdemeanours on the part of the developers but a quick uncover of the real reasons and you will begin to shake your head.

My brother, according to unsubstantiated gist I have heard in various amala joints in and around Abeokuta is that, Daniel, despite being gifted the senatorial seat went ahead to back Ladi Adebutu in his quest of dethroning Mr. Abiodun and for that he must suffer. Madam’s building must come down so that Chief Daniel will not be serviced in the other room.

Like I have said, this is an underground gist but the main gist is that Abiodun is beginning to look like one of the most unpopular governors in a state that has produced such sterling leaders like Osoba, Onabanjo, among others.

You want to know why, go watch that Channels TV where he was asked if he went to school….. kai, only in Nigeria.

Patoranking: A Breezy Re-entry

I am simply crazy about this artist, Patoranking. His humility and deep talent continue to amaze me. Recently I was privileged to listen to his latest works and I screamed in amazement.

World best is a 15-track album that mesmerises you. With collabs with such huge artists like Kizz Daniel, you will begin to ask yourself questions only God can answer.

Why would he imbue one person with so much musical talent and leave you with only the ability to eat afang that cannot be monetised?

Pato remains a cerebral artist with clean and society uplifting lyrics that continue to ring true. I respect him o, I really do o and have been listening to that album the way you listen to airport announcer so you don’t miss your flight.

Well-done bro, please is it possible I meet you one day? I just want to hug you and report Festus Keyamo. Kai!

Mohbad – An Amazing Kind of Death

Drugs, bullying, infighting is all I am hearing behind the untimely death of this 27-year-old musical genius. Before his death, I didn’t know him o. How can I, a 54-year-old?  But since his passing, I have been digging and all I see is a sad underworld of bad behaviour, lack of orderliness and brazenly bad behaviour by a community although gifted with talent, remain on the fringes of sane society.

I wish his parents and family strength even as I plead that his death should signpost a new vista for the community he so well represented. RIP aburo.

Bola Tinubu: Lonely at the Top

Shebi it was Asake who sang that wonderful song “Lonely at the Top.” It was the song that came to my mind when I saw the picture of our President Bola Tinubu standing alone at a table with nobody speaking to him and with no drink at the last G20 meeting in India.

He must have been asking himself so many questions in that brief solitary moment. Only God knows what would have been running through his mind. So, after 30 years, I have emerged, was it worth it?  This Atiku is still dragging me all over the courts in Chicago, what does he really want? This Buhari really scattered everything o, I did not know it was that bad.

All sorts would have been disturbing him at that moment.

Should I just leave it and run back to Iragbiji? Should I honker down and struggle to the end? 200million people are looking up to me oooo. Will I be able to make love again? Should I look for one quick Indian person here and try? Kai, are these not the ones who brought apples to my former colleague? Aghhhhhhh!!!!

For me, as I scanned through that picture, I began to ask myself if it was officially released and if it was, the person should not only be sacked but be made a roommate to some of our elders at the DSS dungeon.

This picture is at the same level as Buhari’s which showed him seated on a sofa, his long skinny legs stretched and with a toothpick in his mouth. To me, this was the most careless image of a president even as it perfectly connotes the carefree and less involved presidency that one ran.

This one shows the loneliness he faces at night when all the sycophants and praise singers have gone. This depicts his struggles with his conscience, a fight he will never win and finally it depicts the loneliness that comes with a lack of legitimacy in a grabbed position.

Make I keep quiet o, before dem come flog me oo!!!!