I Need Palliatives Urgently

Now this legend has reached out. “Edgar, I want you to come and talk about a very important topic on my programme – Perspectives on ARISE TV.” I said Oya, me that I used to have a crush on Ruth? I said oya I am ready. Then she said the topic is why married women cheat- ahhhhhh, I say madam ahhhhhhh, you want to kill me.

Women have not forgiven me since I went to Azuka’s 50th and later wrote that the waitresses were looking finer than the female guests because of all the pancake those ones were carrying na him, I will now come and be telling the whole world why and how they are cheating.

But she was very convincing so I agreed. I didn’t tell Duchess I was going for the talk o. That Saturday morning, I just bathed, ate my last supper and quietly told her, I am coming.

Appeared at the studio and it was just me and three very beautiful women on the panel and Ruth fired- “Edgar, why do married women cheat?” and I opened my mouth wide.

Since the show, I have been kicked out of the room, blocked by over 100 women, lost three side chicks and have not been given food to eat in my house since last Saturday. I have been eating buka and have no access to my accounts since Duchess changed all passwords.

Nigerians are wicked people. Me that was just doing national duty in trying to explain why married women cheat and why women for that matter cheat and be doing like tiny demons in relationships. As I was talking, some wicked people were sending the thing to Duchess, complete with comments on how to deal with me. All explanations that it was national duty I was doing have fallen on deaf ears.

 The fact that I even said: “It was not me talking that it was the producer CJ who was putting the words in my mouth using AI,” has not moved her.

Well, I will not apologise. I will be like Mandela and stand by my position because this is a fight for manhood. It’s just that, real hungry is catching me and that is why I am requesting that my dear Ruth who put me in this wahala, should kindly send me palliatives make I no faint o.