Loud Whispers with JOSEPH EDGAR

Let’s Strengthen Rufai Oseni

We seem to have lost a huge class of social critics. Great men who fought the military to a standstill seem to have lost their guts today. Maybe with age, they have lost their bite.  We now see them struggle to support an anaemic system that seems to be growing in size despite the huge public cry. These social critics of yesteryears with their huge grey afro hairs, their stuttering Ekiti intoned English, amongst others, fumble and womble their way as they try to defend naked treachery, risking their long and hard-won reputations in the process and turning themselves into public caricatures.

Today, we seem to have just one very lone and fiery voice. Rufai Oseni is today the conscience of the nation, taking over from the very old turncoats who had their days in the 80s and 90s but seem to be in bed with their kinsman. Daily Rufai spits venom, and fires directly at the evil of naked democratic authoritarianism. He is fearless, courageous and bold. He sits in the ARISE TV studio, takes aim and fires without even blinking, not caring for personal safety.

He receives threats daily, was once physically attacked in an elevator in Abuja and has become public enemy number one to a tribe of vultures who scavenge and feed fat from the ruins of a once prosperous land.

Today, Rufai is being attacked from all angles. The strategy is clear: go at his credentials, erode his credibility, render him ineffective and possibly get him kicked out of the studios all in a vain attempt at silencing him. The barrage has been ferocious, hard-hitting and persistent. Write-ups, interviews, long essays and threats of lawsuits have all been deployed in this savage attempt at silencing the lone voice that millions of Nigerians now depend on to fight for them.

It is for these reasons that I have decided to strengthen Rufai Oseni. Give him the much-needed fillip to withstand all the barrage and keep him in good shape to continue with the battle. The battle will be long and arduous and he would need all the energy and girth to withstand and remain steadfast.

I have decided to feed him. Take him to the most illustrious afang eating enterprise in Nigeria and feed him with the most delicious and sacrilegiously made afang complete with periwinkle, snails and dry fish and served with the smoothest pounded yam he would have seen in his entire Ijebu life.

While eating, he will be entertained by the sweetest and most deliciously looking, ravishingly enticing virgin damsels, brought in specifically from the beautiful waterside of Oron. They will dance for him, caress his big head and titillate him with the wondrous moves of the creek.

All this is to encourage him, energise him and most importantly, say to him – well done, we appreciate you. It cannot be easy, waging a one-man war against the establishment. It cannot be easy my brother.

Hope Uzodinma as a Persona non grata?

I am in serious prayers and supplication that this person will lose in the polls. My prayer points are very clear: Jehovah should step in and wrestle down the establishment that would obviously be working for his return for a second term.

No right-thinking person will ever be in support of the carnage, misgovernance, thuggery and all that can ever go bad that is happening in Imo State and since Mr. Hope is in charge, all bulk must end at his table.

The savage beating up of the NLC president is another notch on his belt. I am not saying he did it, but it was done under his watch.

Imo must be rescued. Imo is under occupation and held in captivity by some very strong forces and this is why I support very strongly the declaration of the man as persona non grata by aviation industry unions, banning all flights to his Imo.

The NLC has joined by declaring a full strike. Everything has to be done to end this madness. Hope must go, he must be chased out as Imolites will remain a hopeless people in this situation.

Peter Obi as the Moses of Our Time

Even his most stringent of opponents will attest to his brilliance. His astuteness, his frugal disciplinary, approach to leadership and his passionate love for Nigeria. As is usually the case, the beautiful ones never emerge. How can they emerge from the stymying gutter of our national politics?

Only the very dirty can emerge in this variant of democracy. A system that I want to label democratic Ebola. A pin-straight talking, integrity driven and people-loving-fueled politician cannot even win an election in church or estate talk less of Nigeria.

To win a national election or any election for that matter, you must have taken classes in thuggery, understood how to manipulate electoral officials, have educational certificate challenges, understand the power of the dollar and naira at various levels of constituent mobilisation and then finally have a PhD in stomach infrastructure deployment two hours to vote casting. Then and only then can you be sure of being sworn in at Eagle Square under the hot sun with Nigerian Air Force planes pouring black smoke above your head and the Nigerian Army soldiers farting at you as they match pass.

My brother Peter Obi, lacking in all of these, was just a miracle waiting to happen which didn’t happen. He however pulled enough punches to rattle the establishment. He placed his footprint on the sands of time and showed us for the very first time and very powerfully, that it can be done and will be done.

He is the Moses of our time, he has taken us through the wilderness and pointed to the promised land but will not lead us to it. He has played his part and has guided us to the mountain top, but will not enter.

It is over, he should now go and rest. He should go on the lecture circuit, and beg his girl, Chimamanda, to refer him to all those universities so he can be speaking. If that one no work, he can come and be lecturing our local universities on his experience and his vision because to come back again for election? He no go “werk.”

He has lost steam; the movement has lost focus and its strong members are now distracted. The cohesion is gone and those who “won” this election with the power of incumbency will be far far stronger than the walls of Jericho. I swear, do not despair, a stronger leader who will emerge before 2027 will not make any dent but by the second term would have gathered enough strength to clear the stables. It will just not be Peter Obi; he has served his time. Finish.

Bishop Kukah: Yahaya Bello is A Star

This Bishop has the gift of the gab. If you listen to him, you will be mesmerised. Thankfully he is a Catholic Bishop and I suppose has taken the oath of celibacy otherwise, with that kind mouth, he would have been finishing our women o. Kai!

But Baba got it wrong with Yahaya Bello. He was reported to have said that Mr. Bello was not a poster boy for the youths. I beg to disagree. Please Mr. Bello who is said to be the youngest governor has been nothing but a shining example of the kind of leadership that our youths can bring to the table.

How many leaders of your age Mr. Bishop will dig gullies to prevent people from going to vote as has been reported? If that is not the work of a genius, I don’t know what else that is. Even the very beautiful Senator Natasha was quoted as saying that she was offered N70 million in two tranches to forgo her ambition. Is that not negotiation, is that not our “boy” bringing commerce to the table and when she said she refused, did he beat her? Did he burn down her house?

Mr. Bishop, have you not seen him in his gym? Such a dedicated sportsman. He used to do like 50 press-ups at a go. Can you do it? This one that you are calling him names, tell me, can you do it? Such a respectable young man. Didn’t he say that his “father” Buhari asked him to step down during the primaries the other day when it was very clear that he was coasting to victory?

I think at times when some people have nothing to say, they should check if the washman washed their cassocks very well instead of calling out one of the very best in young leadership that we have o.

Mbok, you people, should kindly leave my Yahaya Bello alone o. The man is quietly training for a post-governance career in kickboxing and we are here distracting him instead of pushing for Catholic reforms.

Akinwumi Ambode: How are You, My Friend?

I last saw His Excellency at my brother Yemi Odusanya’s birthday party somewhere on Victoria Island. The great Yemi, who is an Executive Director at Keystone Bank and shares the same birthdate with me, was celebrating his birthday at a very posh restaurant when my longtime friend walked in.

For those of you who know me very well, you will agree that Mr. Ambode is my favourite politician of all time. I even walked that Ojota waka when they came for him. We carried placards and made all of the noise.

I walked up to him, shook his hands and hugged him. He smiled at me and asked how I was faring. That was then. The next time was a phone call where he tried to get me to “calm down” on our government. “Duke, you have to calm down o, this is our government,” and I said, “My lord no be me o. you know I can do anything for you but this one…”

Well, this is just a shout-out. I felt I should just say hello after I read his speech at St. Jude’s Anglican Church something. He spoke about the purpose of life and said some very wise and deep things but the only thing I took out of that very brilliant speech was the fact that he rode a donkey at 10 years of age pretending to be Jesus.

Your Excellency, please do you have any picture of you on that donkey and I hope you fed it very well after that very tedious ride because I have heard that you used to be very “big” those days.

Ambode in my estimation is a very brave and courageous leader with the vision only the Lord could have given him. His infrastructural revolution is thankfully being completed, expanded and re-engaged by equally brilliant Governor Sanwo-Olu, another gifted leader ensuring that Ambode’s legacy in government will never be forgotten. Well done my brother, well done.

Abimbola Dayo-Aiyetan and N44m Ways to Fight Back

Now I have read that this damsel has taken her former employers, a huge financial behemoth to the cleaners. She was said to have been harassed into resignation because she refused to play ball in contracting and procurement.

As a result of her insistence on due process, she was pushed, verbally abused and all sorts and made to resign after which they gave her a paltry N14 million and pushed out. She quietly went to court and after some years won the battle and was awarded N44 million.

My advice to her is to take that N44 million and buy shares in that place and force herself into various shareholders’ audit committees and use her insider knowledge and rescue the place.

You see, these big firms are populated by thieves, simply. There are no other colourful names to call it. Just thieves, that is all. Abi, you set up company, sell shares to the public, use their money to hold down the place, set up auxiliary companies headed by your wife or side chick and now contract everything to that company. Abasiiiiiiii.

Then you will borrow money from the place at whatever rate and use the money and buy another company and now use the same formula. What we have today is incestuous investment vehicles. Investment vehicles that have been set up to steal within a grouping without recourse to best practices, corporate governance, amongst other such internationally sanctioned principles of governance.

So, you see why I am in pure ecstasy with the bold step from this my sister. This could be the Rosa Parks’ moment in Corporate Nigeria. This should be the trigger that we need to pursue robust reforms in the corporate governance of our firms. Thank you, my sister, and God bless you

Mr. Ibu, May God Be with You

The report of Mr. Ibu’s health challenge has hit me with a thud. All I can say at this point is for us all to join him and his family in prayers as he navigates this next but very challenging stage in his life. God be with him and his family. Amen.