Loud Whispers With JOSEPH EDGAR

Till Debt Tear Us Apart

With this new request, it is said that our national debt will cross the $57 trillion mark. My people, we are officially in slavery. Simple. The blame is not on President Bola Tinubu, don’t get me wrong o. He only just inherited it and is doing his best to deepen the situation.

We have seen a budget expenditure plan of about N27 trillion which they have said is like 23% higher than the unfortunate Buhari’s own and a side-by-side request for an additional borrowing permission for another $8.6 billion and plenty money in Euro ostensibly for expenditure in infrastructure, power, health, railways and the like presented to the National Assembly.

You see, what Tinubu is facing now is a catch 22 situation. If he borrows, he will die, if he does not borrow, he will die. This is where we find ourselves as a nation after years of deliberate rue in leadership. Since Chief Obasanjo cleared the national debt and handed over almost a clean slate to President Yar’Adua, we have been faced with a long line of ineffective and paraplegic leadership. Leaders who really had no business in running a street resident association, talk less of a complex nation with the kind of economy that we have leading the ship of state.

Today, the only thing that is keeping us afloat is the fact that over 80% of the population are not keyed into the mainstream economy. Otherwise, we would have been eating raw grass on the roads.

All of our leaders, including the latest kid in town have been doing “wuru wuru” to the answer, that is going to borrow to shore up the expenditure side of the wahala while utterly neglecting the most critical side of the wahala which is the production side of it.

Our earnings keep getting depleted but our expenditure keeps rising and me, I am even wondering why or how we keep finding people to lend to us despite the very garish state of our finances.

My well thought-out advice to Mr. Tinubu is to continue with the wuru wuru to the answer method. Mbok, my brother, as long as you find people to borrow you, keep borrowing. Nothing do you, abi?   

Godwin Obaseki, Leave Philip Shaibu Alone

It is very clear that the wind of change in Edo State is not blowing anywhere near Philip Shaibu, but Godwin is not listening. Philip is wearing his khaki “Oshiomhole’ uniform with that wristwatch that caused wahala the other day, trying to distract the very good people of Edo with his prebendal politics, not realising that class and elegance have come into Edo politics.

You see, what is even giving him some level of oxygen is that lack of confidence being shown by the incumbent -Obaseki. If everything Mr. Shaibu is saying is correct about the way he is being humiliated and hounded, then Mr. Obaseki is showing some very disturbing amateurish tendencies.

How for the life of me would you stoop low as to stop fuelling his cars, or threatening to revoke the C of O of the hotel he used to make his declaration and other such loutish tendencies when the man in a free and fair cannot even get votes from the many brothels that litter the state?

If we are to believe his assertions, then Obaseki must pull back and start applying common sense. Except he is saying that he is so afraid of Philip hence the need to go the “Oluomo” way in engaging him. Obaseki should be confident enough to provide a level playing field and engage in a free and fair battle – if there is anything like that anymore in Nigerian politics.

Please my brother, kindly stop hounding and harassing Shaibu if according to him, you are doing that at all, so the man can run his race in grace and be wholly defeated as it is expected. If you are allegedly doing all of these things, the man is saying you are doing to him, then you would only be giving him the platform to play the “pity politics” that he seems to be so adept at playing.

Abi who can remember that clip of him standing at the gates of his office and making that famous call – mummy where you dey, dem don lock gate o….. Lol. Kai.

What Manner of National Assembly?

Please on whose mandates are these ones standing? Do they even know why they are in the National Assembly. It’s no wonder that ever since they got there it’s been one anti-people policy or the other that they have been pushing.

From expensive SUVs to prayers in their mails – a euphemism for funny payments and all sorts that have stood them up as one set of legislators Nigerians would be regretting ever voting for.

Standing within the hallowed halls of the chambers to sing the campaign anthem of President Tinubu is a new low I swear. Just when one feels like it cannot get any worse, these ones who are the most detached and insensitive bunch you can ever come across just sink lower.

The National Anthem which is a unifying anthem, was no where to be heard-at least not from the clip I watched, instead it was the most divisive anthem of a man who stood very egotistically somewhere in Ogun State to proclaim it was his turn to rule whether we liked it or not.

On his mandate they stand and we wonder why the notion of separation of powers is dead with this set. On his mandate they stand and you wonder why all of his cabinet members including those still doing NYSC were asked to just bow and go. On his mandate they stand and you wonder why and how even their officers were chosen for them, making one of them shout – we are not slaves.

My people, the only bright spot in all of these is the fact that if you read very carefully the words of our National Anthem, you will get more clarity as to their refusal to sing it.

Our National anthem evokes passionate patriotism, it extols sacrifices, unity and diligence as we strive to build a Nigeria that we will all hail, virtues that are alien to this set, hence the decision to sing the other one which reeks of selfish and arrogant individuality.

So at least we now know that our so-called legislators are not standing on our mandate but on his mandate. This is just so you know.

Rotimi Akeredolu: On Your Mandate You are Kneeling

My Lord, on your mandate you will stand o. Even if it means standing on your hospital bed with the drips flowing and your medical team standing by just in case… I have never seen this one where health is in such a precarious state yet the urge to still cling to power remains fastidious.

I hear oga has not been to his state for over six months and that upon his return to the country, he has been ruling from Ibadan. You see, what is not good is not good. This same oga had lampooned the late President Yar’Adua for doing the same and now he is even doing far worse, causing so much confusion in the state just to be able to use his syringes to sign edicts and memos.

My egbon, ma bi nu si mi. Let me talk the small Yoruba that I can muster. The position should not be a do-or-die na, because the way you are taking this thing, it’s like a “do or I must die” on top the thing. The tenure is almost gone, I hear it is finishing 2025 and elections will start November 2024. So why the tenacious hold on power in the face of severe physical inability to do so?

The fact that the constitution has grey areas where it does not stipulate just how long we can tolerate an absentee governor or stating any other grounds for removal except being insane, does not mean that we should now be allowing this kind of thing na.

I hear it is so bad, that reports have been published showing his son carrying out his duties-inspecting facilities with the full complement of the governor’s entourage. This is so wrong if it is true. Please Mr. Akeredolu, even if your deputy has two left legs, hand over but get a firm commitment from him to pay all your medical bills if that is your fear. In fact you sef, pay all the bills upfront, give yourself the kind of pension plan that we hear Akpabio gave himself in Akwa ibom, do whatever but just hand over.

I repeat, your health should be much more important than the lives of all of Ondo State. I am sure the good people of Ondo State will not mind making the huge sacrifice of a lower standard of living and a rise in unemployment to mention a few just so that you get better. They won’t mind, I swear. Resign my brother and go take care of your health. Enough of the games. I know you will not listen o, me I have kuku said my own and have run after the young female cleaner who just walked past me, with the best ……… I have seen in a while.  Get well soon Your Excellency. Thank you.

Ahmed Usman Ododo:  The Kneeling Leader of Kogi

Nigeria is now a huge circus. Every day we see new things that continue to amaze us and distract us from the woes we face daily. This one has brought a new style o. He is just kneeling down everywhere. It is not as if he is the first, after all, my own governor in Akwa Ibom had knelt down and allowed his incumbent to rub his bald head in prayers against the wizards and witchcraft who were against his emergence. But since then, he has stopped kneeling and is now expecting the rest of us to do the kneeling.

Mr. Ododo has however taken the kneeling posture international. If he continues like this, he could well be nominated for the Oscars. Did you see how the bobo knelt down for his principal immediately he received his certificate of return? He went straight o with the full humility of a Fulani bride after her groom had received the flogging of his life in a show of strength that he was capable.

The kneeling did not stop there o, it continued when he went to show President Tinubu his certificate of return. Bobo went straight in thanks and full supplication.

This is what you get when you enthrone barely literate denizens to continue in the tradition of incompetence. You see, knowhow and literacy come with a certain confidence. The confidence becomes lacking when there is no capacity or drive to deliver. It is only natural because your common sense will tell you that you don’t deserve this and you immediately lose all self-dignity and start doing “alabaru” to those who put you there.

Tomorrow now to retain the position, you will see another Wike-Sim epic WrestleMania in Kogi. This one, I kuku trust that Governor of Kogi. He doesn’t suffer fools, if this Ododo person try himself he will find himself in the pit latrine of his village on his knees and worshipping whatever he finds there.

Meritocracy and fair play were nowhere near the Kogi election. They both had travelled and what replaced them were virtues you could only see in the very pits of hell according to reports. It is no wonder this one is going everywhere and kneeling down in a show of useless gratitude to the powers that placed him.

He has sent a message that he is coming to thank me too and I have also sent him a message that he must kneel down too. He will not say that because I am writing this and condemning his kneeling for the governor, he will now not come and kneel down for me. He must kneel down well, otherwise I will ask Dino to release one song on his head.

David Hundeyin: Stop Scaring Us

Look bro, I enjoyed all that your talk with or is it against Tinubu. Please stay on that lane and leave this our aviation thing alone o because it is scary o. I was due for Abuja during the week. It wasn’t a serious meeting like that but just to rush down to see my brother Akan Udofia who is launching a spirited fight for his political life at the Supreme Court when I ran across a tweet allegedly posted by Mr. Hundeyin.

Mbok, this boy scared the living daylight out of me o. To paraphrase him, he said: Is it until hundreds of lives are lost in a ball fire of kerosine in the air that our authorities will wake up to the reality of the dire situation pervading the aviation sector? He went on to catalogue some airlines which were cutting corners, others not meeting their servicing deadlines, some others flying without spare parts and also mentioning that all stakeholders including the pilots whose lives were more at risk were all being complicit.

My people, as I was reading, the news of people taking off to Abuja and landing in Asaba emerged. Mbok, I called Akan to say I will send him virtual support. I cannot come and be roasted in the air due to the rash of incompetence embedded in our officials. It is only ‘till we meet again” they will sing for my service of songs and before you know it, Duchess will remarry and most likely may go and marry that dancing governor with big bele and nobody will name any airport or even gutter after me.

Mbok, Keyamo leave Air Nigeria alone for now. We have heard all there is to hear on that scam, make he go. Come and see better problem here. People are pushing aeroplane to jumpstart o, people are using towing van to tow aeroplane out of huge ditches on our runaways and planes are flying with leaking exhaust and sellotape in a dire attempt at keeping the spare parts that they are buying at Ladipo market in Mushin.

Fear is catching me oooooo. I beg Nigerians to stop flying o till further notice. It is better to risk kidnappers, at least those ones will give you Indomie to chop rather than becoming fresh meat for sharks when your flight to Abuja mistakenly lands in the Atlantic. Shebi it is Asaba they are landing now. Wait and see where they will land from December. I have run away oooo.

Amaju Pinnick and Kola Karim: Two Peas in a Big Pod

Let me quickly send congratulatory messages to these two very well-respected Nigerians. First Amaju. It was his birthday last Friday. Amaju has been nothing but a blessing to Nigeria. A different kind of Nigerian with a passion for Nigeria that remains unparalleled. He has used football and entertainment as platforms to contribute very significantly to the nation and it is for this main reason and more that I really want to say a big happy birthday to you my big brother.

Kola Karim on the other hand has just been appointed Chairman of the huge conglomerate BAT. BAT directly and indirectly employs thousands of Nigerians through their operations especially in the agric sector and Kola joining this team goes to show the uniqueness of the value he would be bringing to the table.

Silver and gold I have none but a freshly made bowl of Afang with snail and “towel meat” better known as “shaki” served with the smoothest fufu ever I have in abundance to serve you at your very convenience. Well done guys and God bless you.

George Weah as a Brave African

Every African should go watch the clip of the handover ceremony that is in circulation. Ohhh my God, I was just so proud of this leader that I shed some tears. I was eating afang o, well made one o. The type that they don’t finish pounding the leaves and you will still taste its rawness as I watched the clip.

Mr. Weah, walking so majestically and with full pride towards the ceremony in a symbolic all-white ensemble and the people all shaking and saluting him as he willfully and obediently handed over power to the new President who looked like he would soon bend down and fall at any minute.

If you followed the recent history of this country, you will understand the immense pride the whole of Africa is having right now. A country that was led by illiterate, gun-totting buccaneers. They gave the world a whole new meaning to savagery. They killed with impunity, chopped off the heads and ears of peoples and ate them on camera; did all sorts of atrocities that gave civil war a whole new meaning in debauchery. The country had gone to the dogs, but just a few years later and after a whole lot of hard work from successive governments especially that of my beautiful grandma – Sirleaf Johnson, Liberia today was witnessing another civilian transition peacefully without acrimony.

Kai, I stand up in full salute to not only Mr. Weah but to the people of this country, Liberia. You have made us very proud and we pray that you continue to grow in peace and development so that some of our people will start to “japa” towards you since your flag is almost like that of the United States. Well done, and may God bless the beautiful people of Liberia.