Loud Whispers With JOSEPH EDGAR

Well, while all of you were shouting at Toke Makinwa in her new role as a major representative of our country on matters she literally knows nothing about, leading to her very prominent positioning at the last COP 28 in Dubai, I have been thinking outside the box.

Over 1,000 people for a conference? With the government in a statement confirming that only 400 or so were on their bill, then something is wrong somewhere. What this needs is not the normal Rufai Oseni type of criticism but an in-depth look at the person of the President in a bid to better understand his psychological state of mind.

While the rest of you were screaming, I was thinking and researching. I looked at all of his footage since he became President, his speeches, his policies and all. The Seyi attending Federal Executive Council meetings scandals, the rash of multibillion naira renovations, the scandalous brouhaha during the “anointing” of ministers, his spirited defence of my brother, Gbajabiamila and so many more, including the purchase of SUVs for workers in the presidency and the “madness” that is the National Assembly.

I didn’t know what I was looking for but I kept at it believing very strongly that something would jump out to explain what was happening. Nigeria has never experienced this  kind of rudderlessness in leadership and a  lack of robust leadership like we are facing now and  as such I felt like there was more to it than meets the eye. I felt very strongly that I must get an explanation otherwise, I would return my Political Science degree to the great University of Ibadan and ask for a refund less VAT for my school fees.

After one week, I saw it. The footage of Mr. President arriving at a venue at COP 28 provided the solution. There was one tall bearded man wey be like half caste in front of him paving the way, the president walked behind that one and there was a crowd around him as they shooed away photographers. The tall bearded half caste in a brown kaftan was clearing the road and was just doing like he was in charge and the president was walking with no confidence and was looking like he needed to just go home to Remi and just rest.

Then it dawned on me and like the great scientist Galileo who shouted eureka from the bathroom when it hit him, me I shouted “Afangggggg” and jumped from the toilet bowl where I was doing number “2” when it hit me – our President is a Prisoner of Conscience.

These people around him have taken him hostage o. You see the way they were leading him on that clip. These people have seized our president o and are just doing anyhow with him.  The same Jagaban, the one that conquered Lagos, withstood Obasanjo’s “tyranny, installed presidents in the west coast and finally put an end to PDP will now be watching as about 1,140 people will pack themselves into a plane to a conference with most of them not being able to spell climate to the largest ever meaningless jamboree since independence.

We now have a prisoner of conscience as president o and he needs to be rescued. We need to save our president o. Kai! Baba needs our prayers to save him from the vultures, pirates who mask themselves as advisers, party men, government officials and the rest. I have never seen a president in this kind of bondage o. Remi Tinubu you need to go on your knees o.

Kashim Shettima: Chief in Denial

Vice President Kashim Shettima is in major denial and I am just looking at him with pity. There are some things you keep silent about and wait for it to go. That his retort against Peter Obi on the matter of the renovation of his quarters with N15 billion should have not even happened. That kind thing, you just remain silent and wait for another scandal to happen and that one will kick your own out of the front burner. You know this Tinubu era, it is one matter or the other. Na daily wahala. This Tinubu administration and Portable, I don’t even know who is more troublesome.

So, trying to justify a N15 billion renovation or is it rebuilding or whatever it is of your quarters is like slapping us and daring us to do something about it. What I have read as an explanation is the most spurious in the history of official explanations. This is right up there with the snake in the monkey shadow JAMB explanation given at the disappearance of a huge sum of money from that institution.

That the contract was awarded by Jonathan and as such it’s okay to complete it now because you have a policy of completing such projects is a huge slap on Nigeria. So, the residence is so critical of all the uncompleted projects in Nigeria if not our dear vice president will become a squatter?

Mbok, say we no get sense no mean say we stupid na. These government officials should even treat us with a little bit of respect na. That we are dumb enough not to understand what democracy is and as such we sit down and allow these kinds of people to lead us does not mean that they will continue to treat us like we are a nation of imbeciles with these kinds of explanation in the face of severe government insensitivity at a time when the economy is in almost a comatose state.

This is why I said that rather than come out to add insult to our injury, you just keep quiet and continue with your enjoyment till the time will come that we will have sense and wake up. The luck that you have is that from the way I am seeing things, it’s not looking like we will have sense anytime soon, so feel free and renovate every toilet you will be billed to use in this your tenure as our Royal Vice President. I just tire, I tell you.

Ooni of Ife: A Candid Advice

Let me quickly throw this in. The highly respected Ooni of Ife should kindly just calm down abeg. The carriage is being diminished with unnecessary sightings and other such funny engagements. The other day, a clip of the Governor of Osun State seemingly ignoring him at a party where he was seated with normal people went the rounds. This caused a social media firestorm with people going at themselves over the rightness or wrongness of the great Ooni to be found at such an event in the first place.

As I was about to go to bed, I saw the report that the Ooni had gone to Kuje Prison to visit the embattled CBN Governor in a bid to seek his release. I was contradicted because even though I wondered what his business was with the matter, I still felt it made sense if he was trying on the back of the possible infringement of that one’s human rights on the back of the “draconian” bail conditions given.

Then it got worse. His aide announced that the great Ooni of Ife did not go to the prison to visit Emefiele but instead went on the back of an NGO promoted by one of his Queens. You see? What is happening? So, if we are to believe this position, then with about eight queens we may begin to see the Ooni at Shomolu market in intervention between pepper sellers in support of one queen who would now happen to be the patron.

You see, I write with all due respect and as someone who believes in tradition and holds in high esteem our traditional institutions. I am begging the great Ooni of Ife to look back at his very prestigious predecessors and back track. Th at seat is the greatest in Yoruba land and I don’t care what anybody says and one of the most revered in Africa and beyond and as such it cannot be used like this na.

Can we just have a one-year hiatus? Can we just stay in Ife and let the world come to the throne instead of jumping bus and entering traffic jam and visiting everywhere just like that? If we continue like this, one day we may go and enter that plane that was going to Abuja and ended in Asaba o. Kabiyesi ooooo.

Jackson Ude: A Masked Crusader

Let me just say this very quickly. I do not read this person and if I ever stumble on his writings, I do not take it or him seriously. The reason is not far-fetched. The man has no respect for facts. He just muddles up fairy tales and pass them on as facts and the sad thing is that he has so much followership and reach. People begin to argue and take positions on things that are so fallacious and deliberately misleading.

Mr. Ude and his ilk have done so much damage to the opposition that you begin to wonder if he is not just a fifth columnists masking as a true soldier to destabilise with misinformation.

The last one he did with the DSS leading those ones to counter with facts and positioning them as victims of misinformation is a case in point. These people just stay out of the country and throw in dynamites and falsehood to cause confusion and distraction.

People like Mr. Ude should please be ignored and not taken with any iota of seriousness even in this struggle of saving Nigeria from the hands of civilian tyranny. Let it be known that the man is not on the side of the people with all of his falsehood. Na only him know which fight he is fighting o, because from where I am seated, it is not the same fight for justice, good governance and fair play that we are all yearning for. Na Ude fight he dey fight. Na wa.

Loretta Ogboro–Okor: Pretty in Pink

This extremely beautiful and super intelligent medical doctor is aspiring to lead our Edo State. The same state has frontrunner Asue Ighodalo in very strong contention. The other day she reached out, “Duke I am the next Governor of Edo State… and I said, “oh my God, tell me more,” and she did.

A super brainy and grounded UK-trained medical doctor who has given so much to the women of Edo now feels that it is better to drive the reforms she is championing from the driver’s seat instead of from the sidelines. She told me a very touchy story. She lost her dad early and used to follow her mother to the market where that one traded to keep body and soul together. As a young lady, she would be derided by others as to why  punishing her mother, coming to the market and wanting to go to school. That she should instead go to Italy and do the needful. This led her to the notion of delayed gratification which is what she believes should be the guiding narrative going forward in Edo State.

Her positive energy will be very much needed especially if you consider the fact that she would be struggling against an elephant within her party. Olu Akpata seems to be well entrenched with a more powerful public persona and political pedigree. These I mentioned to her and she responded by saying that all other aspirants inspire her and she would leave it at that.

After the talk, I went in search of her picture and saw a fairy. Mbok, she fine o. You will think she is from Akwa Ibom; I know say Bini people go vex now and start to abuse me, but it’s true. Na Akwa Ibom woman dey fine like that. Any ways don’t let me digress; I wish her a detached good luck as she prepares for what might be the most engaging struggle of her very beautiful life. Well done my sister.

Bimbo Ashiru: The Man Who Saw Tomorrow

When he was appointed Chairman of Odua Investments, the huge conglomerate that is owned by the South-west states, there was a small debate. Was the chairmanship of the conglomerate bigger than the commissioner that he was in Ogun State? But the egbon saw something else. He saw a bigger vision that would lead to the economic resurgence of the region and Nigeria by extension.

Today he has led the ancient conglomerate into growth. They are now playing very seriously in strategic areas like oil and gas, power and reinvigorated real estate and hospitality operations. It is no wonder that the other day, the Ogun State governor during the Odua Board visit to him singled him out for special commendations.

Well done egbon. Odua continues to lead in the area of job creation, infrastructure development and the rest and it is for this reason that I have singled you out today for special commendation. Afang any time at your convenience.