Loud Whispers with JOSEPH EDGAR

Cardoso and Edun: A Nobel Prize in Economics Loading

How many of you readers read O.A. Lawal or Ayo Teriba in school? Those were classic economics textbooks that you would have read if you were in secondary schools in the 80s. Well, for the first time since I left school, I went in search of those books when I saw the naira hit N1,450 against the dollar.

It looks like the present managers of our economy have written a new economics textbook to replace those classics. My people, what we are seeing today defies all economic logic – a statement ascribed to former President Babangida when he threw it all at the economy and the thing was responding one kind.

What we now have is a new economic textbook authored by Cardoso and Edun and it contains very new theories on the economy. In their world, the official market has now surpassed the parallel market in exchange. This is the first time ever anywhere in the world where this is happening. If you continue reading their textbook, you will see that fuel subsidy has been removed and fuel is now brought in through forces of demand and supply but guess what, according to Cardoso and Edun, as the naira keeps falling on a daily, the international spot price of fuel keeps going up, the landing cost keeps going up but pump price remains the same and yet subsidy has been removed.

This is what Fela used to call “Government magic.” Now if you read further in the textbook, you will also see that nothing is being said or written about the supply side of the economy. Our authors keep struggling with the management of a continuously depleting trough of forex complementing it with debts instead of pushing their influence to see how we can earn more.

Well, the results are there for everyone to see, no need to rehash them here again. The results are apparent and very glaring and the consequences are dire. It’s looking like these two authors have just written one of the most useless books ever on economics and anybody who studies this book for WAEC or NECO, na F9 straight I tell you. Na wa.

Reno Omokri: No Emotions, It’s Business

This my brother can be very bullish once he secures a target. He usually will rail and attack mostly with emotional gibberish without most times even looking very clearly at the issues. For him, it is all a play to the gallery not minding the consequences if at all.

His recent attacks on MTN got me thinking. Apparently, he has jumped on the side of the “indigenous” telecoms firm who is said to be owing MTN a huge pile of funds and have refused or neglected to pay, making the regulatory body approve at some point its disconnection.

Reno, obviously on a script, jumped in support with very emotional and pseudo nationalistic arguments that fell by the wayside without any effect. According to what I have read, he is of the opinion that the NCC should be on the side of the indigenous company simply because it is a “Nigerian” company. He is also quoted to have asked if the South African President will take sides with a Nigerian firm over a South African one?

Normally, one would ignore all of this because on the face of it, it just looks like the ramblings of a toddler but with his influence and reach, it just makes sense that one responds if for nothing else but to put the facts on the table.

MTN has Nigerian shareholders. Over 30% of its shareholders are Nigerians making it even more Nigerian than the one he is defending who to the best of my knowledge has only one Nigerian shareholder.

Secondly, MTN has paid out dividends in excess of N2.8 trillion to its shareholders. Nigerian shareholders taking up 30% of that. His principal has not shown any evidence of that to any one single Nigerian shareholder outside of his emotional shareholder base. MTN has made over N4 trillion capital investments in Nigeria and has paid over N4.2 trillion as taxes to various governments since 2001. MTN Foundation has invested over N26 billion supporting 40 million Nigerians so far.

So, my brother, before you jump in and begin to misinform people, look at the figures. We cannot be out there fighting for and begging for FDIs and the one that is on ground we keep hounding them like this.

Did it cross your mind that one of the very first things Mr. President did upon his inauguration was to rush to India and the New York Stock exchange to woo FDIs or did you think he went to star in an Indian movie? Oga abeg rest.

Still on Gen Richard Duru’s Case

It’s heading to four months and this brilliant Army General is still in captivity. We do not even know what to say or do again on this matter especially with the spate of kidnappings all over the country. Just last week, some monarchs were kidnapped and I hear, sadly, may have lost their lives. As if that was not enough, students were also kidnapped in the same Ekiti. The Lagos PDP Chairman was uniquely lucky as he was released 24 hours after his abduction.

This spate of kidnappings is making one look selfish for seeking the release of General Duru instead of joining the national clarion call for the release of every Nigerian in captivity anywhere in the country.

This has thrown a major confusion into my mind. Is Gen Duru’s life much more important than the others? Should I keep railing for only him and not look like a hypocritical bigot? Won’t people be asking why? Are those other ones not also Nigerians? Don’t they too have families in tears and yearning for their release? Even those of us still walking around, how confident are we that one day we may not find ourselves in captivity?

My people, the level of insecurity in the land is such that nobody is safe. The government had better up its game before they come and kidnap all of us o.

I have even heard that the Army high command has refused to grant General Duru’s wife an audience and that even the Imo State Government where he had gone to consult and from where he was picked up has also not been able to grant the hapless woman audience. If this is true, then this can only be described as a very sad and poor development.

May God keep us all well. That is all I can say at this juncture. Thank you.

Pastor Tobi Adegboyega: A Different Kind of Pastor

Let me quickly give you guys one gist. That was how my sister Azuka Ogujiuba reached out that she was having a virtual sit down with the famous Pastor Tobi of London the other day. Me, I have heard so much about this pastor that I could not resist the urge to be part of the session. She accepted but warned me that this was her interview and as such I would mostly just be listening. I quickly agreed o and jumped on the talk.

After a bit of rescheduling due to the oga’s tight schedule, the session was held. It was on “google meets” and the pastor showed up in one very beautiful brown tunic that looked like something Seal the musician would wear.

Since na “mo gbo, mo ya” I do, I cannot begin to give you guys all the gist but to just say sha that the convo which took all of two hours was very rich. The issues touched were the relationship between Church and State, succession in churches, the controversies around his person and church and also his many philanthropic activities.

He remained calm, marshalling his points very deliberately and with no sense of hurry and came out of the whole experience with a huge pass mark. I liked the way he marshalled out his points and with the way he delivered without really avoiding some of the very tough questions that Aunty Azuka threw at him.

Me, I just sat and listened and asked only the two questions I was allowed to ask. I can’t wait for the full interview to be published because some of his responses were quite explosive.

Oya Azuka, over to you o, let’s have the full gist, can’t wait.

Ahmed Ododo and Disturbing News from Kogi

We are getting very disturbing news coming out of Kogi. I don’t even know what to believe again especially with the stark raving mad social media. What I have read on social media, if it is not a skit, then it portends very serious danger for not only the people of Kogi State but the rest of us.

I have seen reports saying that the newly sworn in Governor of Kogi State, Mr. Ododo has set up an office for the immediate past governor of the state and was allegedly quoted as saying that “if I give instruction and the instruction comes from the immediate past governor, you all obey him and ignore mine.”

This cannot be true. This must be “fabu” from the internet as no sane elected official can ever say or do something like this. Never. But then again, with the way that one has been prostrating all over the place for his predecessor, you may want to start looking at that statement again o.

Abi didn’t you see his deputy and his wife after being sworn in walking straight to their “oga” and prostrating flat out for him in the full glare of the world.

Mbok, that one I saw with my two korokoro eyes, making me want to believe the above assertion because if you can lie down like that for a man in public complete with your wife in tow, what is stopping you from handing over the people’s mandate to him? Well, that is if the mandate was actually given by the people in the first place. Na wa.

Pastor Adefarasin: A Story of Fearful Caution

In all of my writing career which includes a very rich stint in looking for trouble, I never believed that I can write a story with fear. This story, by right I am supposed to let go but it is too sweet not to take the risk. So here goes.

I don’t know how it beat me when it came out. I just heard yesterday that this very handsome man of God was said to have been involved in a traffic fracas. They said that a commuter bus had scratched his luxurious car and in a fit of anger he was said to have come down and allegedly smashed the windows of the bus, thereby injuring people and there after driving off leaving the public in shock.

Now this story is too preposterous to be real abi? A whole gentleman of God? A man with careful finesse? So, in fear, I dug deeper. I needed to be very sure before I stuck out my neck. I went to google and truly the story was everywhere complete with videos of a man said to be his PA begging the people for calm.

Now I still did not have the confidence because the blogs that carried the story were not major, but the video clip of the man who was said to be his PA put some credibility to the story as he was begging for patience and the people were saying – why would a man of God do this?  One even said, “me that I am a Muslim, I can never do this.”

Well, like I have said, I cannot comment on it just yet because of fear and the fact that if they come at me, all these blogs will run away but then again, the story is just too juicy not to be told.

If you want more details, please buy N100 data and do your own google search, don’t come and put me in trouble, I never pay my pikin school fees. Thank you.

Yemi Shodimu: A Happy Thespian

During the week, the man I call the Yoruba Denzel marked his 64th birthday. I had written a satire to commemorate the occasion and had gleefully mentioned that he was 70. Nigerians who will never understand satire started calling him and saying – aghhh, “we did not know you were that old o. You have good genes o, see as you short, person no go even know that you don reach 70.”

Anyways, let me use this opportunity to state that Yemi is 64 and not 70. I was just doing satire before Nigerian Legion sef come join dey ask am to register as member.

Yemi is like a brother to me. His love for afang is only second to his love for the stage. That he is a brilliant actor cannot be denied by any stretch of the imagination and this is why I want to really say a happy birthday to one of the most talented people that I have ever met in this my life. Congrats bro.