Expert Tasks Parents on Effective Communication With Children to Curb Social Vices

Prof. Yomi Akindele-Oscar of the Faculty of Education, Olabisi Onabanjo University Ago Iwoye, Ogun, has urged parents to ‘talk with’ their children and wards, rather than ‘talk to’ them, to make them feel loved and expressive.

He said this at a two-day sensitisation workshop for parents, teachers and students on the need to kick out vices in Nigerian secondary schools.

The workshop, organised by the Federal Ministry of Education, was against the backdrop of the increase in vices in schools across the country.

The don, who doubles as the Quality Assurance Director of the institution, said when parents talk with their children, it boosts their ego, makes them feel and loved and enables them to open up easily.

He said if parents are not close to their children, they may hardly know what they are up to.

“I also want to say that as parents, we must always strive to be present in the lives of our children. It is critical. This is because, if you are not present in their lives, bearing in mind that they are digital age children, who have ways of manoeuvering and hiding things, a lot of things may go wrong.

“But once you show them understanding, empathy, make them understand that they are loved unconditionally, like we say in counselling, unconditional positive regard, they will be more open, more expressive about their challenges and fears.

“Through this process, we can then look at ways to provide solutions to some of these threats in our society,” he said.

The don explained that basically, issues relating to social vices in secondary education in the country was fast becoming that of public concern.

He commended the Federal Ministry of Education for organising the programme, which he described as a giant leap in the right direction, as it is never too late to arrest any malady.

“We are to brainstorm and find solutions and make effective recommendations that will nip in the bud, issues relating to social vices in secondary schools in Nigeria.

“If we keep thinking that it is late to address the issue, they begin to fester like cancer. It grows bigger and bigger. So even if we see it as coming a bit late, it is still timely, because from the various shades of opinions shared so far, especially by the students, alot have been learnt.

“I personally want to suggest too that this kind of sensitisation workshop should be held periodically, as it will go a long way in making the society a better place for all.”

Dr. Idowu Olabisi Akinbamijo, the chairman of zonal chairmen, of principals of all unity colleges in the country, identified cofusion as one of the factors influencing social vices among secondary school students. 

She noted that many students are not sure of what they want in life, hence they go about picking up whatever vices, from their peers.

“This workshop put together at the instance of the department in charge of secondary schools in the Federal Ministry of Education is laudable because the trend is becoming worrisome, more so, when the parents are always not available to guide them.

“So, it is what they pick here and there on social media, their peers and the environment they find themselves, that they imbibe.

“So, what we have now is the result of failure of the system in which the students find themselves and if we must correct it, if we must get a headway out of it, then the society that produced this type of environment, has to take responsibility.

“Parents too, have to become more involving, collaborate with the school and teachers more responsive to the students that are being reactive. The guidance and counselling sections in our colleges also have to be more active and alive to their responsibilities.

“We gave not come to the point where we will say all hopes are lost. We are just having challenges which we will overcome if we begin to act in a way that we will say ‘no to all forms of vices’ that we find around us,” she stated.

Mr. David Omada, Principal, Federal Science and Technical College (FSTC) Yaba, host of the workshop, said the workshop attracted principals of unity colleges from the south-south, south-west and the south-east.

He added that the workshop also had officials and students from the private and government owned secondary schools in Lagos attendance.

According to Omada, one of the most common vices identified in secondary schools is that of bullying, adding that this comes in form of extortion, stealing or fagging.

“So this meeting will enable parents to understand the type of vices we are facing in these schools. Parents and teachers will also understand the magnitude, effect and implementation of such vices in our colleges.

“My expectation is that at the end of the workshop, there will be an improvement in what was obtained and the society will be better for it,” he said.

Also speaking, Mr. Sunday Ameh, Chairman, King’s College Lagos Parent Teacher Association (KCPTA), said that the workshop was an eye opener, adding that there is still a lot of work to be done, regarding the children.

“Today, I have learnt a lot from what some of the students at the workshop espoused. The workshop has indeed opened my eyes to a lot of things. I must say this is a programme worth the while. I wish we have been having such years before.

“Perhaps, the erosion of values in our schools would not have gotten this far. Be that as it may, I am going back to my school to educate my parents and students and to liaise with the school management, discuss further and work out means on correcting some of the anomaly,” he said.