Ola Olukoyede: Let’s Put a Date on It

Truth be told, I was among the people who didn’t really support your appointment. I was told all sorts about you and the fact that your appointment breached protocol and all that. So, I threw my tiny weight behind your opponents, well as it is, you won and you were appointed and I carried my wahala go somewhere else.

But I must tell you that we are beginning to look at you with another eye o. The way you have been moving recently seems to be putting more bite in that your institution has already started growing rubber teeth.

This Yahaya Bello matter, then the BDCs and now the Sirika – or wetin he call himself – and a whole lot of table-shaking moves that EFCC under your “rulership” has been doing. Let me quickly say well done.

But wait first, that Bobrisky own, I don’t really support it, but that one I will discuss with you when I eventually get to meet you. I had called your man Dayo or abi Dele? He says he is your spokesman to see if I can interview him or maybe meet you but he pushed back. Not a problem.

See, the main reason why I am writing about you is very simple. Please, my brother, they say that you have said you will resign if you don’t prosecute the chicken of Kogi. I love that statement but something is missing- you did not put a date on the resignation. That is not how they used to do that kind of vow, otherwise, we will just be looking at you like a Nollywood actor.

Please, stand naked in front of your mirror, holding either a cow horn, Bible or anything you worship and say, “I Ola son of Olukoyede from —– fix your village name—the great-grandson of—-  you know how your people use to say it on all of the Yoruba film they disturb us with—- hereby vow to resign by so so so so date if I do not prosecute Yahaya Bello.” Then end the vow with a swear on whatever God/gods you are worshipping – Sopana, Orunmila, any of them will be ok.

That way, we will take you very seriously. Please note that we are fully behind you on this Yahaya own because of the implication on good governance and the system. Mbok, when you are ready for our meeting, please send a female operative to reach out, make no hoarse-talking man call me o before I faint and die for una hand o. Thank you.