From Execu-Thieves to Judi-Sharing

BY EDDIE IROH, OON

It was not long after the return to ‘civilian’ democracy in 1999 that wags went to work. They named the new rule ‘DEMONCRAZY’. Another group of wags termed it “DEMALLCRAZY’. That of course had nothing to do with the fact that the President in the new dispensation was a retired five-star Army General. In any case, that was something the politicians judged to be a good bridge between the military on one hand and the civilian politicians and the populace on the other.

However, 25 years after the military relinquished power, democracy has been on a very rocky and dangerous path. Fortunately, the recklessness of the political class has not led to yearnings for return to military rule even though there are some who might prefer the devil they know in military fatigues to the one who hides his carnivorous claws behind a civilian robe.

Meanwhile, the problem with Nigerian Democracy can easily be traced back to its foundation–the Constitution. This is a document skewered to benefit some and displease the others. In a country with 250 ‘tribes and tongues’, the Constitutions lamely agreed on the recognition of the Federal Character of the country and the establishment of Federal Character Commission which is for all intents and purposes a toothless bulldog.

The drafters of the constitution appeared to have focused attention on the presidency and thus gave it more power than is appropriate in a true federation. The most attractive of these is presiding over the money collected by the national oil corporation from crude oil sales of which Nigeria is the eighth largest producer in the world. The principle of derivation, which would mean that a state controls what is produced from their backyard with them paying an agreed amount to the centre is not the case thus negating one of core principles of true federalism. Thereby within the federal system exists financial arrangement which has made the quest for the presidency a quinquennially do-or-die affair.

Only once in the 25-year history of the current dispensation has the losing candidate, who was the incumbent president, vowed that he would not go to court because his continuing in office was not worth the death of a single Nigerian! He gracefully bowed out and urged his supporters to keep the peace. Thus, the president-elect who had vowed on behalf of monkeys and gorillas would rise in their thousands to fight for him was left carrying the empty can.

That was the only time in 25 years the presidential election was not decided by the courts that have also become part of the problem. Time was when Nigeria’s supreme court boasted of men of character like Justice Adetokunbo Ademola and Justice Anthony Aniagolu who placed the law above thing else. Alas that era is gone. The wags now regard the judiciary as ‘JUDISHARING’ where the cases are decided before they reach the Bench! No judgement by the judiciary has gone against the Executive, or ‘EXECUTHIEF’, as the wags would name it.

But I explain this with what foreign observer felt about African political rulership in general. He said: “African governments has fallen into the hand of elite politicians who have succeeded the colonial masters and pretty much sucks the life out of the wealth of the countries and about 70 to 80 percent of these lie in banks in the capitals of Western countries.”

In the Legislative arm they did not escape from the tongue lashing of the wags who nicknamed them the ‘LEGISLATHIEVES’. And the Senate President Godswill Akpabio was caught red handed announcing to the whole house on the eve of departure for their Christmas break that the Clerk of the National Assembly has put some ‘little amount’ in their bank accounts to enable them a full enjoyment in the festive season. On his desk as he was speaking were microphones of several radio and television services carrying his announcement to millions of hapless Nigerians who were wondering where the Naira would be found for their next cup of garri!

This brings to my mind a Second Republic cartoon by Owolabi, aka Owoblow. He drew a man who had stepped out of a Lagos bank carrying a sack of money. He was suddenly confronted by an armed robber. The armed thug pointed his gun at the head of the man with the sack of money and snarled “Give me that money or I’ll blow your brains out”! The man with the money looked at the gun and looked at his sack of money and said to the armed man “Listen you can live in this country without brains but not without money. So, if you want to shoot, shoot!”

So, as the inimitable Chief Zebrudaya Okoroigwe Nwogbo of ‘The New Masquerade’ would say, ‘Take your choose’!  

EDDIE IROH, OON A multi-media professional and award-winning novelist, Dr Iroh began his career at the NTA, Enugu but was soon transferred to the headquarters in Lagos as Controller of Features and Documentary. He soon joined The Guardian Newspaper as Managing Editor and later migrated to the United Kingdom as the paper’s Europe and North American Editor. From there he was appointed Director General of Radio Nigeria and served for Six years.