PDP Reps’ Illiteracy

Ebere Wabara

DAILY Trust Front Page grammatical insurgency of March 31 welcomes us to the first edition of this month: “This was the fourth in the series of attack (attacks) by the deadly Boko Haram sect using women.”

“LASU senior staff bars (bar) pre-convocation conference”

“The gale of impeachment has heightened into (to) an alarming proportion….”

“The impeachment moves (move) against Governor of (name withheld) of the APC (another comma) is now on the bill (cards).” 

“Other impeachment plots under (in the) incubator”

“Fifty-five years of democracy in Nigeria have seen a litany of removal (removals) of governors.”

Still on Daily Trust under review: “Proprietress admonishes parents on children (children’s) performance”

“Airtel hits 300 million subscribers mark” Information Technology: 300- million-subscriber-mark (Press releases should not be slammed as sent by companies unedited!)

“Inaccurate laboratory results also contribute to the spate of diagnosis (diagnoses) being recorded….”

THE NATION ON SUNDAY of May 26 circulated gloomy lines beginning with this presidential perfunctory admonition: “Jonathan to Nigerians: Don’t despair over terrorists attacks” From me to you: either terrorist attacks or terrorists’ (note the apostrophe) attacks

“Besides, for miscreants seeking opportunity (an opportunity) to cause mayhem, that could lead to looting and plundering of the properties (property) and investments of southerners in the North.” (THE NATION ON SUNDAY COMMENT, May 26) There is a consistently contextual misapplication of ‘properties’ in the media, especially by people who should know! Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary comes to the rescue in the following elucidation: PROPERTY (noun)—plural: properties. 

1. (Uncountable): A thing or things that are owned by somebody, a possession or possessions. Examples: The building is government property. Be careful not to damage other people’s property. 2. (Uncountable) Land and buildings: The price of property has risen enormously. 3. (Countable): A building or buildings and the surrounding land. There are a lot of empty properties in the area. 4. (Countable, usually plural) (formal): A quality or characteristic that something has. Compare the physical properties of the two substances. A plant with medicinal properties. I have done this long extraction, for the first time, because of the frequent misuse of the plurality of ‘property’.

“…reports on the political battles currently being fought by….” What is the function of ‘currently’ here in the lexical magistracy of ‘being’?

Still on THE NATION ON SUNDAY: “The Nigerian (Nigeria) Union of Journalists last week celebrated the memorial of Alhaji Lateef Kayode Jakande, a man whose contributions to the profession arguably (sic) transcends (transcended) that of any other Nigerian….” Except if the reporter was not sure of his declaration, I cannot fathom the contradictory relevance of ‘arguably’ here. Did the reporter intend to use ‘unarguably’, which is also grossly abused in similar environments?

“You are a special friend and brother whose life has been an amazing influence to (on/over/upon) me.”

The following press statement issued by Akwa Ibom State PDP Caucus, House of Representatives, National Assembly, Abuja, is replete with kindergartener’s blunders: “We also call on you to declare your intention to run for a second term under (on) the platform of PDP.”

We, the undersigned (another comma) also this day do pass a vote of confidence on (in) our amiable State Governor (needless capitalization)…for taking Akwa Ibom State to an Olympian height developmentally, to the admiration of Nigeria (Nigerians) and the Diaspora (sic)” Long live Akwa Ibom State: Olympian heights (not height!).

“You have changed the aesthetics of our state which has robbed (rubbed) off positively on the people’s pride and we stand tall anywhere in this Country (functionless capitalization) today.”

“…the umbrella of uncommon transformation with life changing (life-changing) projects spread across every nook and crannies of the State (another useless capitalization).” Either every nook and cranny or all nooks and crannies

Lastly from Akwa Ibom PDP Legislative Caucus adoration, praise and worship of Senate President (Obong) Godswill Obot Akpabio (CON): “By this singular act, the spirit of fair play, equity and brotherliness has been entrenched into (in) Akwa Ibom State Politics (sic).” This scandalously pedestrian statement was signed by six honourable members of the House of Representatives (names withheld to forestall national and global 

FEEDBACK

CLINTON was impeached by the lower house but the upper house did not follow suit. (08037058775) I dislike anonymous feedback.

I am surprised to learn (from one of the contributions) in your May 25 column that Bill Clinton was not impeached. Haba! The search machines, including Google, are there for all. ‘Impeachment’ (guilt established) and ‘removal’ are not the same, like ‘acquittal’ and ‘discharge’. Let us learn. Clinton was guilty. (Contributed by Kenneth Ugbechie)

THANK you for the good work you have been doing. I just want you to know that some of these blunders you correct as mistakes are indeed ignorance. Good examples are the ones involving the so-called Ph.D holders and our governors. Even those in my profession speak rubbish in courts. May God bless you! (08055217580) ‘My learned friend’, why write incognito? You are blessed, too.

MONIES and moneys are both plurals of money. (08037026109) What is your name? 

FROM the columnist: Please let responses come with real names—not pseudonyms. This is an interactive forum with identities for the exchange of robust ideas. Otherwise, do not bother to contribute. Readers and I are proud of the late Bayo Oguntunase and Kola Danisa and ever-bubbling Sunny Agbontaen, among other numerous respondents. You do not disguise in published cerebral matters because of intellectual rights—and access to reply, also.