Babajide Sanwo-Olu: The Case of  Onipanu Bridge

When the National Theatre was named after erudite Professor Wole Soyinka and Igbo and Yoruba people started their usual fight on the merits and demerits of the matter, I started thinking.  I began to wonder why a monument could not be named after me too. After all, I am a writer, I don’t comb my hair, I live in the forest and I don’t also go to church. The similarities between me and the famed Nobel laureate are so great that it will almost be a big sin if Governor Sanwo-Olu fails to honour me.

I too have children from many women. I don’t wear a tie, I am a hunter even though na different species of animals that I hunt. I too didn’t like Abacha and I too am a human rights activist. I also don’t like Obidients and I have been known to criticise Obi for his cheap black outfits and shoes that have open mouths.

I also supported NADECO, even though I didn’t go into exile, I still did my bit by going through all the brothels in Shomolu to sensitise the workers there on the struggle. I didn’t join pirates but loved their costumes and used to stand by the roadside, hailing them as they trawled on, drunk and singing their meaningless songs.

So, since I have waited for you to recognise me and you have refused, failed or not thought about it, I have decided to put myself up for it. You know you are not as perceptive as President Tinubu who knows what to do when due abi how do we go explain this renaming of the National Theatre after such a great hero who barbers can’t stand.

Your Excellency Babajide Sanwo-Olu, it is with great humility as a law-abiding citizen and one who has contributed seriously to the socio-economic development of Lagos – I have dated over 22 Lagosians and counting, what more contribution were you thinking – I plead with you to kindly name the pedestrian bridge at Onipanu after my humble self.

The one that starts from the police station on the way towards Anthony Village and terminates on the other side of the expressway as if you are going towards Fadeyi.

Be a man of history and do this and see how your tenure will be immortalised as one of the best since Mobolaji Johnson. Thank you as you consider this. God bless you, my Excellency.