My Mum, An Epitome of Selflessness, Symbol of Stability, is Gone

Abubakar Bukola Saraki

One of the most difficult tasks I have handled in recent times is to write a short piece as part of the celebration of the life and times of my mother, Mrs. Morenike Florence Saraki (née Ibidapo). It is like being compelled to write a summary note on a subject one has studied for 61 years. This task brought to my mind the question: How does one write a short piece about somebody who never saw anything wrong in you in 61 years, somebody who in her eyes and judgment, you were never at fault, someone whose face lightened up whenever you were in her presence?

Even in her last weeks and months, when her eyes were shut and she was not ready to open them, all it took the nurses and others around her to get her to open her eyes was for them to say: ‘Grandma, Uncle Buki is here’. It was as if hearing the name of her first fruit, her first born, invoked a magic wand. She would open her eyes and smile. So, I am not in doubt that writing this piece will be a difficult assignment. However, I will do my best to pay tribute to the incredible woman that my mother was.

There was a strong bond of love between my mum and I. My mother was my Rock of Gibraltar, a strong pillar, a wise counsellor, a stabilising force, and most importantly, my prayer warrior. I know she must be resting peacefully with the angels in the bosom of her Lord and creator. 

This is because she lived a selfless life, a life of devotion and dedication to not only her husband and children but also to her brothers, sisters, and other members of our extended family on both her husband’s and her sides, including others who came her way. She was always willing to help. There is no impartiality in the way she spread the goodwill among the various families.

She created a strong, impenetrable, and impregnable family bond. These were the reasons everybody in our immediate and extended family believed she grew over time from the roles of wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother to become a matriarch before she died. She was the symbol of stability, an impactful, impartial, and respected mediator in my family for as long as I knew her. She was a blessing to the Saraki household.

She was also a source of strong humanitarian support and mentorship for many outside the family. My mum sponsored a lot of philanthropic initiatives without making any noise about them. She had a lot of people who she had helped to fund their education at home and abroad. It was the reason why, at every point, she knew how much the JAMB form costs or what the fees for WAEC or GCE are. She would quote figures during our discussions while she urged those of us in government to ensure the fees do not continue to increase.

It was later I realised she was current about those figures because she paid on behalf of some students. One would always find files containing photocopies of certificates and CVs of fresh graduates looking for their first jobs by the side of her regular seat in the living room. In most phone conversations she had with me, she would always make requests concerning the people she was helping to find jobs in the public and private sectors.

She did all this without allowing people to know about it. I am happy my mother acted in compliance with the provisions of the Quran and the Bible that emphasized the fact that such good deeds done to the right hand without the knowledge of the left hand commanded more acceptance and endorsement from the Almighty God.

She was an organised person. Most of the time, when she took charge of arrangements for the numerous gifts that my father gave to his supporters and associates, you would see the high sense of responsibility. She would have all the numbers and direct the logistics such that everything would go on smoothly. I always marvelled at her organizational skills.

Even though she was not openly political, she was perhaps better than the three politicians the family produced. I made this conclusion because, gifted with uncommon discernment, she was a good judge of persons. All the people she warned us to watch out for because she believed they would later betray our political family ended up behaving true to type.

However, even though her husband and two children occupied influential public positions, she chose to be in the background. My mother intentionally eschewed the hustle and bustle, the perks and highlights of public office. When I was Governor of Kwara State, it was a struggle getting her to attend government functions. Most times, she would fly into Ilorin but preferred staying at home, tending to the humanitarian needs of the family care of the aged, Ile Arugbo Initiative. She would stay out of the limelight, just there to support me.

She was everything to me. Everything that I became, I owe her a huge debt of gratitude for her positive impact in making them possible and helping my successes. She was always a big player in my career choices and progression. She made a strong impact on me and made big contributions to shaping my life.

For instance, my mum was the reason I attended Kings College, Lagos. My late father, Dr. Olusola Abubakar Saraki – Oloye – preferred Barewa College, where I also had secured admission. I was set to go and resume in Zaria when Mum insisted her son should just take the nearby KC option.

When I returned to Nigeria and started working in the bank and also began my commodity trading business, my mum was my biggest supporter, closet adviser, distributor, and chief accountant. We would sit down together in one of her private living rooms and do the calculation on the various consignments, whether it was rice or sugar. Most of the time, she would take about 10 or 15 trailers to distribute herself.

Also, she would coordinate the distribution of other consignments. Sometimes, my father would bump into us and joke about how much salary she got paid to be so devoted to keeping records and working on the business details with me. She would respond “That is a mother and son secret” and we would all laugh about it.

Even though she chose to be in the background as it concerns politics and public offices, when I was contesting to be governor in 2003 and the contest was violent, she was always concerned about my safety and success. As governor in Ilorin, she was not for a day impressed about the influence conferred on her as the Governor’s mother. She just wanted me to be safe and successful and deliver on my mandate as a holder of public trust.

However, anytime during that period that I came under serious pressure and needed to calm my nerves, I would visit my mum and engage her in a general talk. Each time I left her presence, I always felt regenerated, energized, and refreshed. I drew inspiration from her usual calmness and positive approach to life. She was my biggest supporter who showed me unwavering love and dedication. I will forever be grateful for her labour of love.

During the turbulent period that followed my emergence as Senate President, many wondered how I was able to remain calm and unfazed as I shuttled between the Senate chambers and the tribunal. My calmness, strength of character,  determination, and dedication to duty are some of the attributes I got from my mum.

While the Code of Conduct (CCT) trial was ongoing, one day, my mum paid me a surprise visit in Abuja with one of my uncles. She came to plead with me to just “leave the post for them”. My mother’s visit and request had been instigated by a delegation she received in her Lagos home. Some politicians in the delegation threatened that they “would go to any length to jail, unseat and ruin me”. They told her to persuade me to step down and that if I did, I would be left off the hook set by opponents to my emergence as SP. She pleaded that I should just leave the post because she did not want any danger to befall me and my young family.

I explained to her that their promise was just a bait and should be disregarded. I told her that resignation would be tantamount to admitting the vicious allegations they falsely leveled against me at the Tribunal and that I needed to clear my name and that of the family. I made it clear that if Oloye were to be alive, he would want me to clear the family name. That meeting was an emotional one for the three of us there. We all cried. I remember her words as she said: “I don’t know anybody in Abuja that I could go to and lobby for you, but my God will not put us to shame. I will go back and pray for you”. I believe that her prayers were a major contribution to my success and survival during those trying times.

Having written all the above, there is still one particular incident that made my mum earn my greatest respect and honour. It was during my father’s illness, and they were regularly traveling to the United States for his medical treatment. While there, even though we had employed many aides – nurses, housemaids, cooks, and others – to make their stay very comfortable and pleasant, my mum would take it upon herself to personally attend to her husband’s needs. 

She nursed and cared for Oloye herself, so much so that most times, she made the nurses redundant., There was this particular evening I visited them. While my mum was out of the room, Oloye beckoned on me, and when I moved closer to him, he said to me: “Your mother is a very good woman. Please, take good care of her for me”. Those words have continued to ring in my head from that day, over the last twelve years, till the day my mum died.

These last few weeks following her demise have been difficult for me, even though her funeral was a celebration of life. I have found it difficult to live with the reality that my mum is no more.

I am indeed happy and appreciative of the way the entire nation has risen, in an unprecedented manner, to help us celebrate the life and times of my mother. From across the country and the political divides, the leadership of our country at the national and state levels, starting with no other but the President, HE Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu who not only issued a press statement to commiserate with us but also sent a powerful delegation led by the Senate President, Senator Godswill Akpabio to the church service and reception. Also, his dear wife, Senator Oluremi Tinubu paid a condolence visit in her capacity as the First Lady of Nigeria. This is a task she needed not undertake, except that she wanted to demonstrate love to our family, as the mother of the nation.

Many captains of industry, people representing different social strata, leaders of traditional and religious groups, and youth groups also paid condolence visits. From Kwara State, market women, artisans, traditional rulers, students and other individuals came to Lagos to commiserate with us. The ones that touched my heart even more, was the physically challenged people who came from ilorin and visited us in Lagos to commiserate with us. The condolence visits and show of love transcended politics and religion. Muslim and Christian leaders came to commiserate with our family. It was a good mixture of faiths. Leaders of political parties in opposition to my own joined us to mourn and celebrate my mum. I thank all who have contributed to making her departure a less painful one for the family. The support is an acknowledgment of her kindness, good nature, selflessness, and unpretentious connection to the people.

The way the entire nation has united in bidding my mother a befitting goodbye has humbled and surprised me. One was humbled and touched to see people who after their early morning prayers on Friday left Ilorin to embark on a four-hour journey to Lagos to be part of the funeral programme and another four-hour journey back to their base by 8 pm that day. Throughout the evening, my heart was in my mouth until I got confirmation that our people from Kwara State had returned home safely.

The calibre of people who paid condolence visits and supported us in one way or the other provided me with a humbling experience. If one were to be an incumbent holder of a top political office like when I was governor or Senate President, it would appear all the support was because people needed contracts, appointments, and other benefits. It is obvious that we owe the goodwill we have enjoyed as a testimony of our mother’s love of humanity.

The solidarity and support we have enjoyed on the celebration of the life and times of my dear mum, has further encouraged me that selfless, good, and committed work in public service does not go unnoticed. It is also clear that we will all get our reward for our good deeds in this world and hereafter. I believe my mum truly did this during her lifetime. It was also a value that my late father, Oloye, held dear. He would probably be proud of the way Nigerians got together to celebrate his late wife, even in his absence.

On behalf of the Saraki, Ibidapo, Ojomo, and Okunrinboye families, I cannot but thank all and sundry for this honest support. It is a positive gesture that one can not take for granted. The outpouring of goodwill has helped in reducing the pains of losing such a gem as my mum represented to me. May God bless all those who have done one thing or the other to support us during this difficult period.

• Dr. Saraki, Waziri of Ilorin, former Senate President, former Kwara State Governor, writes from Abuja.