A sense of entitlement is a cancerous thought process and can be deadly to any relationship, argues LINUS OKORIE 

We often confuse a sense of entitlement with recognizing and owning one’s value. When someone knows their worth and understands what they can contribute, it is not a sign of entitlement mentality; rather, it reflects self-awareness and confidence, which indicates a healthy understanding of their value and potential impact. 

Entitlement mentality can manifest in any relationship—whether at work, within a family, or among friends. An entitled person expects to be treated as superior to others and views others as inferior, existing solely to serve their needs. They believe they are owed something without having to put in much, if any, effort to achieve it. 

Contrary to popular belief, this is not just a ‘Millennial or Gen Z problem.’ Anyone, regardless of age, can develop an entitlement mentality if their expectations are misaligned with what can be reasonably offered. Employee entitlement is linked to narcissistic behaviour and the self-centred belief that one is special and deserves preferential treatment. However, friction arises when an employee’s demands are out of alignment with their performance or when they are unwilling to put in the necessary time and effort to generate value equivalent to their requests.  

Social media is increasingly contributing to the entitlement mentality in our society. Many uninformed individuals with internet access offer online commentary on workplace behaviours, negatively influencing others’ perceptions of what is acceptable. Entitled behaviour is more than just annoying— it is toxic to your team. 

Research shows that entitled workers often display negative behaviour, leading to conflict with co-workers and with you as their leader when you don’t give them what they feel they deserve. The entitled employee also lacks reciprocity toward their co-worker, creating a vicious cycle of disharmony within the team. 

 Entitled employees believe they are owed something, so they become increasingly disengaged if they don’t receive it. They are also less satisfied with their jobs and may constantly seek opportunities elsewhere, perceiving your treatment as unfair. 

 As a leader, the perception of fairness is crucial. While employees may disagree with your decisions, your decision-making process must be transparent and fair. Catering to an entitled employee’s every demand will not only reinforce their behaviour but also make the rest of the team think you are playing favourites or that being a squeaky wheel will get them results. 

 Managing an entitled employee can lead to an influx of special requests for schedules, vacations, and work preferences.

 An employee might request a higher salary, preferential treatment for projects, employment perks, or schedule flexibility due to their tenure or an inflated sense of selfworth. This employee believes they automatically deserve privileged treatment from their co-workers and leadership. However, it is not your responsibility to grant a raise just because it was requested. This is where performance appraisals are valuable; they allow you to reward or penalize performance according to clear expectations.  

Sometimes an employee feels they should be the first to know about business decisions. As your team grows, sharing information with one privileged person could create more discord than it’s worth. While news might occasionally leak, as a leader, you should have the autonomy to make business decisions without seeking unanimous approval—that’s why you own the business! New information should be communicated in the right way, at the right time, in the proper context, and to the appropriate people.

You might have an employee who has been with the company for a long time, perhaps a family member or close friend, who believes they don’t have to follow systems or processes as thoroughly as everyone else. Such favouritism can lead to low morale and disengagement among the rest of the team. To foster an efficient and collaborative work environment, rules must be upheld by everyone in the organization, even those who feel entitled to special treatment. 

An employee might feel they deserve additional skills training at the company’s expense. They may want to attend a conference just because another employee is going, or they may compare their privileges to a friend in another state. Be cautious of employees who believe they are automatically entitled to educational and training opportunities funded by the company. They need to understand the value and effort required to earn such opportunities—there is a cost to learning. 

While it’s relatively easy to address entitlement in children by teaching them skills like empathy, perseverance, and gratitude, it’s more challenging with adults who may have long relied on entitlement tactics to succeed. We can’t control or predict how our employees will react, respond, or evolve as our business grows. It’s up to us to curb entitlement. Here’s how: 

 Most employees don’t fully understand what it means to run a business, including the concepts of profit, loss, and overhead. Take this opportunity to show them the financial breakdown. Avoid entering into a debate—arguing is a tactic entitled people use to bully others. Instead, explain a few key aspects of the business and leave it at that. Entitled individuals thrive on arguments but dread the silent treatment. 

Don’t give in to their Demands: Consider a child throwing a tantrum in a grocery store because they want chocolate. If their mother buys it, it might stop the tantrum temporarily, but it reinforces the behaviour. Don’t be that mother—don’t let your entitled employee pressure you into caving to their demands. 

 From day one, ensure employees have clear job descriptions and undergo annual reviews to align on expectations and assess whether their assigned KPIs continue to benefit the evolving business. During the offer process, employees should be made aware of the compensation package, which outlines the value of each expense the company incurs by employing them. It’s important to help them understand that benefits such as bonuses, insurance, paid vacation, retreats, training, and more are all costs to the company. 

Implementing these strategies will curb employee entitlement. However, in extreme cases, you may need to let off the entitled employee. Stop shooting yourself in the foot trying to accommodate entitled employees. Rather, seek out passionate, grateful, and eager employees, help them align with the greater vision, and provide them with opportunities for earned growth that contribute to the company. A sense of entitlement is a cancerous thought process that is void of gratitude and can be deadly to any relationship. As the saying goes, “Gratitude begins where your sense of entitlement ends.”

 Okorie MFR is a leadership development expert spanning 30 years in the research, teaching and coaching of leadership in Africa and across the world. He is the CEO of the GOTNI Leadership Centre.