Akpakomiza: A Joke Taken Too Far

By Lawrence Erewele

As Edo State approaches the 2024 Gubernatorial elections slated for Saturday, September 21, a political farce of unprecedented proportions unfolds before our eyes. The All Progressives Congress (APC), in what can only be described as a moment of collective insanity, has put forward Senator Monday Okpebholo, alias Akpakomiza, as their candidate for Governor. This decision solidified at the party’s campaign flag-off rally on August 13, 2024, isn’t merely a misstep; it’s a headlong plunge into the abyss of political absurdity.

The tragedy of Akpakomiza’s candidacy lies not just in his well-documented struggle with the English language – a crucial tool for governance in Nigeria’s multilingual landscape – but in his utter inability to articulate any semblance of a vision for Edo State. In over a year as a Senator, his contribution to the Nigerian Senate has been nothing more than his silent presence, the proceedings apparently too linguistically taxing for one who aspires to lead Edo State.

But the joke, dear readers, takes on an even darker hue when we consider the historical context. In times past, Edo State, like many others, has grappled with leaders who possessed the capacity to govern but lacked the will to serve the people’s interests. Now, in a cruel twist of fate, we face the prospect of a leader who not only lacks the will but is bereft of even the basic capacity to lead. Akpakomiza represents a new low in our political discourse – a candidate who brings neither competence nor commitment to the table.

The absurdity of this situation becomes painfully clear when we imagine Akpakomiza in the role of Edo State Governor, participating in a National Council of State or Nigerian Governors Forum meeting. Picture, if you will, our hapless representative seated among the likes of Dr. Alex Otti, former MD of Diamond Bank and current Governor of Abia State; Prof. Charles Soludo, ex-Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and current Governor of Anambra State; and Alhaji Dauda Lawal, former Executive Director at First Bank and now Governor of Zamfara State. These are men of accomplishment, with proven track records in finance, economics, and governance.

In such a gathering of intellectual heavyweights, what could Akpakomiza possibly contribute? As Governors discuss complex issues of fiscal policy, security strategies, and development plans, how would our linguistically challenged candidate even begin to articulate Edo State’s needs and aspirations? The image is not just embarrassing; it’s a nightmare scenario where Edo’s interests would be left voiceless and undefended on the national stage.

This stark contrast serves to underscore a fundamental principle that seems to have been forgotten in the chaos of political manoeuvring: only the best among us should lead us. It is a philosophy that has guided great civilisations throughout history, and one that Edo State, with its rich cultural heritage and intellectual traditions, should be at the forefront of upholding. The idea that we would willingly choose a leader who falls so far short of this ideal is not just a political misstep; it’s a betrayal of our collective potential.

This communication void extends beyond high-level meetings. In an age where political engagement thrives on media interaction, Akpakomiza has become a ghost, conspicuously absent from television and radio stations. The man who aspires to lead one of Nigeria’s most vibrant states cannot – or will not – face journalists to address the very people he seeks to govern. This isn’t merely a language barrier; it’s a complete communication breakdown that threatens to isolate Edo State from the national conversation.

The recent APC rally provided a rare glimpse of Akpakomiza in action, and what a spectacle it was. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, what emerged was a garbled mess of incoherence that left attendees in a state of bewildered disbelief. It was a performance that would have been comical if it weren’t so tragically indicative of the man’s utter unsuitability for high office.

Perhaps most damning of all is the open secret whispered among APC ranks: “Akpakomiza nor be am.” Even his supporters, in unguarded moments, admit that he’s not up to the task. Yet they rally behind him, seeing in his obvious incompetence an opportunity for personal gain – a chance to make a quick buck in the chaos that would inevitably follow his election. This cynical calculus transforms what began as a joke into something far more sinister: a deliberate attempt to sabotage good governance for personal profit.

What’s equally alarming is the apparent determination of the APC apparatchik to foist this clearly unsuitable candidate upon the people of Edo State. Their bullish support for Akpakomiza, despite his glaring inadequacies, suggests a disturbing disregard for the welfare and progress of the state. It’s as if the party leadership has decided that their political machinations trump the need for competent governance, treating the Governorship as a prize rather than a sacred trust to be earned.

Delving into Akpakomiza’s background reveals a narrative that highlights a troubling lack of personal development. Rumours suggest that Okpebholo began his career as a welder – a humble start that, in itself, is not a point of criticism. There is indeed dignity in labour, and many great leaders have risen from modest beginnings. However, it is the trajectory of his journey that raises eyebrows.

Okpebholo reportedly found his way into the domestic staff of the late Chief Anthony Anenih, a political heavyweight. This connection undoubtedly opened doors for him, propelling him into the political sphere. Yet, the glaring absence of personal growth and skill acquisition during this ascent is a testament to a disheartening lack of ambition or, perhaps more concerning, an inability to grasp the demands of leadership.

The Senator’s rise to his current position was more a product of circumstance than merit. His election to the Senate was largely attributable to the internal squabbles within the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), creating a power vacuum that Okpebholo inadvertently filled. This accidental ascension to power, coupled with his apparent linguistic limitations, paints a picture of a man ill-equipped for the responsibilities he seeks to be thrust upon him.

The APC’s decision to field such a candidate is more than a mistake; it’s an insult to the intelligence and aspirations of Edo State’s citizens. This is a state with a rich history of sophistication and intellectual prowess, from the glories of the ancient Benin Kingdom to its modern-day achievements. The idea that such a state could be led by a man who can neither articulate a vision nor defend it in public forums is not just disappointing; it’s a slap in the face of every Edo citizen. It flies in the face of the time-honoured wisdom that our leaders should be drawn from the best and brightest among us, those who can inspire, guide, and elevate our collective aspirations.

As we approach the September elections, it’s crucial to recognise this situation for what it is: a joke taken far, way too far. Governance is not a comedy show neither is the Governor’s office meant to be a set for producing comedy skits. The citizens of Edo State deserve a leader who can not only speak to them but speak for them – articulating their aspirations, defending their interests, and driving the state towards progress and prosperity on both the state and national stages.

As election day looms, the people of Edo State stand at a crossroads. Will they allow this political farce to continue to its disastrous conclusion, or will they reclaim their right to capable, articulate leadership? The choice they make will resonate far beyond the borders of Edo State, serving either as a cautionary tale or an inspiring example of citizens refusing to be the butt of a cruel political joke.

The candidacy of Monday Okpebholo for the Governorship of Edo State is a joke that has long since ceased to be funny. It is a dangerous gambit that risks turning the governance of a proud and capable people into a circus act, leaving Edo voiceless and adrift in the complex world of Nigerian politics. As the election approaches, the voters of Edo State must recognise the absurdity of this situation and choose a leader who truly embodies the excellence and sophistication for which our state is known. The future of Edo State is at stake, and its people must refuse to be the butt of this ill-conceived tragi-comedy.

*Erewele, a legal practitioner writes from Irrua, Esan Central LGA of Edo State