‘MALAM, I BEG GIVE ME BONE’

I have never loved gnawing at bones. Bones are dog territory and prerogative. I would rather have the meal empty. Many years ago, I had a friend with similar problem as mine. His got worse after he became rich, and completely avoided any bony diet. We had a good laugh at his expense when on a routine check at the hospital, he was diagnosed with a certain medical problem that indicated that he had no calcium in his system for many years. When the doctor gave him a choice whether he would have to begin to eat bones or to take calcium tablets over a six-month period, my dear friend was to opt for the six-month period of ingesting calcium tablets.

These relatives of mine who know of my distaste for biscuit or Fanta bone have often reminded me of the a-patient-dog-eats-the-fattest-bone maxim. And any time I am reminded of that maxim by my bone gnawing relatives, I often proudly announce as well that I am not a dog, that the farthest and furthest I have gone in life is by being impatient in the extreme with the many factors that have held us down in Nigeria, and therefore will never have to eat a bone, whether it is sweet as biscuit, hard as a rock or as fat as a Sumo wrestler.

I have no idea where I got this disdain for eating any kind of bone. But yesterday, images of the hardship that I did see, and which relatives of mine mentioned to me as reason why they ate bones, and why bones will continue to be a part of their diet even after they no longer have need for those bones confronted me. Passing through a mini market to get ginger, a woman approached the meat seller and said: Mallam I beg give me bones’. I turned to look at the table to find that on one side there was very fresh beef. On the other side, the beef seller had arranged up to seven ‘heaps’ or portions of bones on the other side. Each heap cost only N500 and the woman took one of the heaps and left. After she left, I asked the Mallam if she was buying the bones for her dog. Everyone around turned to look at me as though I was some idiot. ‘Oga, this na wetin all of us dey buy now o…Nigeria done hard, hard pass the bone sef’, they said to me.

As I took my ginger and left, needless to say that I was vexed to my soul – vexed to my soul that here is a country Nigeria with so much potential, so much endowment, so much capacity and so much to live for, but whose people have been reduced to eating bones like dogs by her own people! Some of the people responsible for this are not eating bones like every other Nigerian. These leaders are to be constantly reminding the rest of us to be patient like dogs. If it were to be crumbs falling from their esteemed tables, we can understand – but lo and behold – a figure of speech designed to illustrate the virtues of patience and long-suffering has actually come full circle in Nigeria and has become literal and real.

Sundays are usually days when Christians offer prayers to God as a collective. Whilst in in church or in the mosque, the pastors and imams, often quoting from our holy sacraments would often adjoin us to pray for our leaders. But what these holy sacraments did not make clear in asking us to pray for our leaders is in whether we should pray for an oppressive leadership or to pray against them. I will not pray for anyone who will reduce Nigerians to dogs while they live in palaces, appropriate the resources of state to their selves and their families and cronies. I do not say this off cue but rely on the words of Martin Luther King Jnr that it is often a lawful thing to disobey unjust and oppressive leaderships.

Bob MajiriOghene Etemiku, editor in chief of WADONOR…cultural voice of Nigeria