Loud Whispers with Joseph Edgar

Florence Otedola:  A Grateful Cup in Hand 

Some of you may not know her as Florence so you may not immediately connect but if I said, DJ Cuppy then you would all align.

DJ Cuppy is the graceful ‘bookaholic’ daughter of famous businessman, Femi Otedola.

You may want to ask yourself, what exactly is making me look her way this morning? Well, it’s her recently announced initiative – the Cuppy Fund.

The Cuppy Fund as I have learnt is meant to support Nigerian students at New York University.

We may not really see the depth and thorough relevance of this move until you weigh it against the total destruction of our educational system leading to the educational japa syndrome which has seen Nigerian students becoming the crucial financial backbone of some European and American universities, and then the crash of the Naira and its inevitable effect on Nigerian student enrollment and retention in these schools leading to a massive decline in some cases up to 40%.

The Cuppy Fund shows clear thinking and although might seem like a drop in the ocean, it is however a powerful statement of intent that is expected to inspire others.

If you take the immense benefit of foreign education on the economy and Nigeria, especially in the areas of technology transfer, global integration, berthing of local but international bred skillset which is beginning to thaw into the Japada flow which although, in its infancy, is expected to grow strong, then you will understand the magnitude of this Cuppy Fund.

This in my estimation is excellent and must be encouraged for all of its benefits and more

This Florence baby keeps showing that she is much more than just a pretty face but a well-hewn first-class brain.     

For Laide and Obinna, It’s Purple Tears

Laide is a brilliant investment banker and Obinna is another brilliant banker. Between both of them they have created jobs for over 40,000 Nigerians.

Their giant strides in real estate has berthed the huge Maryland Mall and the soon to be opened Purple Lekki.

Now Laide is not one to cry easily but one early morning he calls and talks about his pains.

Oh my God, in trying to achieve his vision, he has run into major obstacles – forex, covid, creditors, a funny public offer leaving them worse off than they were, when started.

He was down but still upbeat and the conversation went to impact. We talked about impact of their activities on anxiety and not naira and kobo to be earned or lost.

The mad calls from creditors, the jig saw with regulators and the cascading rigmarole that is trying to create opportunities for Nigerians and self, all weighing down on him this morning.

I ask him about Obinna who is always smiling. Obinna is ok and I ask is he still smiling with all of these pressure and he laughs, he is o.

Today, I have heard that the huge Purple Mall is about to be opened by no less a person than the Lagos State Governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu and another 2,500 people will be given jobs and in this economy. That is mad.

This is what I call Purple tears. They cried but their tears turned purple.

Yahaya Bello: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Yahaya Bello is said to be sighted at the EFCC office with his protégé Governor who is shaping up to be the most jobless governor so far. Then he is reported to have been asked to leave and come back on a later date and then his media people said he was not interrogated nor arrested but voluntarily walked in there for a cup of tea.

Next thing, we got a report purportedly from the same EFCC that he was arrested at midnight and didn’t do anything voluntarily. Finally, we heard that Kogi Government Lodge was being attacked by forces said to be probably from the EFCC in search of a man who was said to have been with them and released earlier in the day.

My people, do you honestly think we should waste our time trying to unravel this one or spend our more valuable time looking for what to eat in this our country where a plate of rice is now so out of reach?

When all parties involved finish their merry-go-round, they will come out and tell us what exactly is itching them. For now, we are really not interested. Thank you.

Dangote vs NNPCL: Help, I am Confused

I believe I speak for millions of Nigerians when I say that I am now utterly confused on this matter. You all must have noticed that I have been very vocal on this Dangote Refinery matter and in my usually biased manner, I have been roundly in support of Dangote and his vision for the refinery. I even went ahead to print a t-shirt with my own money and shot myself on video shouting “On Dangote, I stand.”

Please, do not be worried, I still stand with Dangote and in fact, I am sitting on his refinery sef. But this latest round in this fight is confusing me and my question is very simple – mbok, what is the price of a litre of fuel lifted from the Dangote Refinery?

I really beg all sides, why is this very little question so difficult to answer? Dangote is saying one thing, NNPCL who has turned itself to “agbero” is shouting another thing and causing confusion everywhere.

I don’t even blame Dangote because he is even trying sef, building this massive thing in an overtly regulated environment where personal interest far outweighs public good and where the mere existence of the refinery would “scatter” a lot of things, the man tried.

But to my brothers from the other side, this thing cannot be that difficult na. How much are you lifting from Dangote and how much do you want to put on top and how much will you sell to the public? This cannot be as difficult a calculation as you are all making it to be.

My advice is for the NNPCL or whatever it wants to call itself to first decide what exactly it wants to be because it changes its colouration between regulator, distributor, government parastatal, privately-owned company and much more depending on the time of the day or the issue at hand.

First, decide what you are and then come back and let’s have a discussion. Thanks.

Yemi Cardoso: Testing the Waters

Do not take what just happened lightly o. The report and denial of Mr. Cardoso being asked to resign was testing the waters o. As a strong observer of Nigeria’s governments since Shehu Shagari, I have come to kinda understand how the government works and this is why I am not taking this Cardoso matter lightly.

There have been reports of him being asked to leave by the presidency as a result of his inability to rein in the dollars which to many people is the major measurement of his success or otherwise in government. But also, there have been reports of a quick denial.

Let me state my thoughts on the matter and you believe this at your own risk. They are thinking of asking Uncle to go but don’t know how this will sit with the public, especially how it will affect the image of the Presidency seeing that Uncle came from Lagos.

And the reason for his current situation is not far-fetched. Naira has gone into ICU and it’s not looking like it will find healing anytime soon. This has affected the economy badly, especially with interest rates, which has fuelled inflation and the rest. So, something has to be done, a Jonah thrown out of the boat scenario to stabilise things must play out and Uncle is the perfect target.

So, let’s fly a kite and see how the public will react. The kite has been flown and the public just hissed and waka pass. Results are being collated and in a matter of weeks, we will know Uncle Yemi’s true fate.

However, I think that Uncle Yemi will be left to continue with his work. He has shown diligence in the fight, he has thrown all that he has on the matter including the kitchen sink and I think we just may be about to turn the corner- I could be wrong.

He has tried to reform the CBN, sacking all sorts of people and this is where his problem is coming from. We all know just how entrenched that place is where even the gateman has senator godfather, so taking an exhaustive culling exercise will definitely come with a fight back.

Much as I support a cabinet reshuffle, I think— and I could be wrong — that Uncle Yemi still has a fight in him. Let’s leave him for now, we need the stability if for nothing else. Let him be. Thank you.

Emir Muhammed Sanusi: How Are You My Friend?

Your Highness, I just thought I should send this powerful message to you. Since your reinstatement and even your brilliant turn with your PhD thesis, I have been too busy on fuel queues, waiting for palliatives and avoiding the seeming clampdown of media men to even remember you.

How are you and how is the family? I see that things are settling down and you are getting back firmly in the thick of things in the emirate.

Please, Your Highness as you settle down, don’t leave us alone o.

Things are very bad o and we need your voice, which is a very strong one for truth and justice. The economy is comatose, political shenanigans are rife and even your governor, who I think is your man, has even joined the train of harassing media men.

I hope you are aware that there is a Nigerian in jail awaiting bail for posting on Facebook things deemed “insulting” to His Excellency.

This is not asking you to jump into any wahala seeing that you really need to tread carefully but it is also asking you to strategically continue with your royal “opposition” because of the international weight your voice carries.

Your abiding faith and courage are an elixir to those of us who are following you. We respect you and see you as our true leader and guess what, you lead us not just by religious precepts but by the power of your ideas and outlook, and this is why when we see you, we bow in total supplication.

Do stay healthy my King and may the Almighty Allah give you a long reign and a very prosperous journey on the throne this time around. Stay blessed, Your Highness.

Gideon Okeke Jumps into Immortality

Did you see the clip of this famous actor Gideon Okeke jumping into the Lagos Lagoon from the Falomo bridge? It was a well-coordinated stunt that saw him take a well-guided, well-prepared leap with all safety gadgets in place into the very deep Lagos Lagoon.

This for me against the backdrop of the other ill-fated river crossing which took the lives of so many actors and crew is a remarkable development and kudos must be given to those who planned and executed this.

He fell in a rush of emotions when he came out of the lagoon, crouching on the floor and crying with the actresses cooing and humming and loving him.

I got jealous as I would have really wanted the actresses to love me like that too, even though the only thing that would take me near the lagoon is to eat “point and kill” in one of those bars that line the lagoon front.

Well done my brother, well done to the crew and well done to Nollywood.

Teddy Okumakube : It Wasn’t me

Edgar, send me the link to that your write-up. The one that you called Government yahoo, yahoo. Aghhhhhh. Me that I have been living in fear, when did I call Government yahoo yahoo ooo? Kai, before I realised it, more calls were hitting me. Edgar, that was brilliant, Edgar, I will not come and bring food for you when DSS catch you, Edgar tread carefully, that was harsh, Edgarrrrrrrrrrrr.

I left my afang and rushed to go and look for the article to read before they come for me. You know them Sowore have juju and years of experience in these matters, we are just learners so we must tread carefully.

Anyway, it wasn’t my article o. I didn’t write it o. It was my oga, Teddy Okumakube who wrote it o and I don’t know how the people now went to put my name.

Kai, the article was a beautiful prose which took the government and its NNPCL to the cleaners. Oga Teddy was angry when he wrote it and it showed as he took the reader step by step through the politics of petroleum pricing and the drama that is the Dangote – NNPCL petroleum pricing. He concluded that the government was not sincere and did not have the interest of Nigerians at heart in this matter.

I begged them to remove my name o and put Oga Teddy’s name in block letters and I reached out to him and his phone was not going o.

Then an American number called me and the voice said, “Edgar, na me Teddy.” And I screamed, Oga you dey exile? So na for exile you dey come write this kind thing dem come put my name make dem come catch me. He laughed and we gisted.

Teddy is very far from an activist. A veteran investment banker with moderate views. In fact, you can almost call him an establishment man and for him to have gone out on a leash to pen this? Then water don pass garri. No be write am o, Na Teddy Okumakube write am. Catch am.