From Struggle to Strength: Nigerian Widows Find Hope

In Nigeria, widows face numerous challenges, from social stigma to economic hardship. However, one organisation, the Fanibe Oluremi Initiative (FOI), is working tirelessly to change this narrative. Writes Mary Nnah

 The loss of a husband can be a devastating blow, leaving women to care for their children alone and navigate a society that often discriminates against them. However, one organisation, the Fanibe Oluremi Initiative (FOI), is dedicated to transforming the lives of widows, working relentlessly to shift the narrative and create a brighter future.

FOI’s recent Widow Support Programme, held recently at the Alimosho Local Government Council Hall, Lagos, brought together over 50 widows, providing them with financial support, encouragement, and a sense of community.

Mrs. Bolanle Ogunade, a widow who attended the programme, shared her story of resilience and determination. Despite facing numerous challenges, including family disputes and societal pressures, she has managed to raise her children and build a successful business.

Her advice to fellow widows? “They should take care of their children and face their businesses. They should not rely on any man. I didn’t say they should not remarry, but they should be very careful. Some men outside there will raid a hardworking widow to the last.”

Mrs. Ogunade’s personal experience as a widow has been tough. Her husband passed away when she was in her 50s, leaving her to care for their children alone. Despite the challenges, she has learned to be independent and self-sufficient.

 “I don’t need a man to take care of me,” she said. “I have already got a daughter who is married. My advice to widows is that they should face their work and face their children. I know God will bless them.”

The Coordinator of FOI, Mrs. Oluremi Fanibe, was inspired to start the initiative after witnessing the struggles of widows in her community.

“I’ve seen widows in critical conditions, struggling for food and shelter,” she said. “I wanted to make a difference.” With a passion for empowering widows, FOI has been supporting them for 25 years, providing financial assistance, counseling, and skills training.

Fanibe shared the success stories from previous programmes, highlighting the impact of their work. “Many times, widows come to me and say that whatever they have received at our occasion is the only money they have. They came without nothing. So many times, they have done that.”

 She also emphasised the importance of interaction and inspiration among the widows. “It gives them the opportunity to interact, and I’m so happy with that. Some women will come up with ideas. Don’t go and be doing prostitution. Face your children. You will enjoy later.”

FOI’s recent program was a demonstration of its commitment to empowering widows.

50 widows received N10,000 each, a gesture that brought joy and relief to their faces.

One widow, who received the financial support, was overwhelmed with gratitude, praying and thanking God for the unexpected blessing.

Another widow, who has benefited from FOI’s program, has seen her children become doctors and accountants, proof of the life-changing power of empowerment and support.

Mrs. Fanibe emphasised the need for government support to scale their impact. “We should try and agitate for some policies on widows in Nigeria. So when they come up with policies, we will be able to make input into it to say widows should be given this, and their children should be given support, medical facilities, and so on.”

She also highlighted the challenges faced by the girl child, including lack of access to education and employment opportunities.

Damilare Kuku, a writer and big supporter of the initiative, described the programme as amazing. “I think that helping people during this time in Nigeria is such a heroic act. I love it. It’s really nice.”

Her advice to the women was: “A woman should have her own work. I think that’s what is important. Love is important but God, first and then your career, because you need to look out for yourself. If you have to be a mother, the last thing you want to do is not be able to take care of your children. Work hard. Pray hard, and if you fall in love again, great. If you don’t, love yourself. Take care of yourself. Your mental health is very important. Widows deserve to be happy, and I think it’s amazing what FOI is doing right now.”

As FOI continues to make a difference in the lives of widows in Nigeria, the message is clear: widows deserve to be happy, empowered, and supported. With initiatives like FOI leading the way, there is hope for a brighter future for these remarkable women.