Viral Schoolboy Howlers

Expression

By Ebere Wabara

DAILY Independent online of August 30 failed a simple phrasal verb test: “Economic hardship reports: Tinubu lashes at critics” Collocational information: Tinubu lashes out at critics

Of course, the inside pages, naturally, were also not left out: “The Honourable Minister for (of) Power….” But, Commissioner for Power…Niger State Government, take note!

“NDLEA arrests two over (for or in connection with) trafficking at Lagos Airport”

Vanguard of August 30 equally contributed four viral howlers to the pool of improprieties this week: “The kidnap victim regained his freedom on the payment of a whooping (whopping) ransom of N15 million.”

“…has given a firm assurance that his government will stop at nothing to (at) reducing the menace to the barest minimum in the state.”

“…and like (as) Governor Sanwo-Olu said, eternal vigilance should be the watch word (watchword).”

“…he has been able to repay back N20 billion.” Delete ‘back’ and move forward!

“Osuntokun scores Tinubu low in education” My amiable and humanistic former lecturer scored Tinubu low on (not in) education. An aside: Prof., thanks for all the biros you gave to us during lectures almost three decades ago in UNILAG. I remember it all as if it were yesterday! God will continue to prosper you. I also fondly recollect another fine gentleman, the late Dr. Hakeem Haruna of History Department, for his unique didactic methodology. May his soul continue to rest in peace.

Still on Vanguard: “ABUAD: It can stand with world class (world-class) universities”

“ABUAD students on life in the campus” Special Report: ABUAD students on life on campus—or, simply, ABUAD students on campus life, especially for headline purposes

“Tinubu has no solution to Nigeria’s crisis” Definitely, Nigeria has more than one crisis: therefore crises.

Now, the final entry from Daily Independent under review: “…creative people to interact at (in) the corridors of power”

The Guardian front and inside pages of August 28 contained a surfeit of lexical falsehoods: “One military personnel was also killed in the encounter.” ‘Personnel’ (plural) is a collective noun that cannot be used for just an individual.

“…Wike said that his purported suspension was an act of political witch-hunting.” Conscience, nurtured by truth: political witch-hunt

“Time for leaders to close rank (ranks)…”

“Otti assures on welfare” Who did the governor assure? ‘Assure’ compulsorily takes an object.

“Uzodinma seeks on leadership training” Yank away ‘on’!

Still on THE GUARDIAN under focus: “…the military lobby intensively for deployment into (in) the zone.”

“To bring this to the attention of the decerning (discerning) investors, the Jigawa State Government is organizing the second Economic and Investment Summit.” 

Lastly from THE GUARDIAN Law Report: “Courts are not permitted to suo motu raise issues, resolve same (the same) without hearing from parties.”

THISDAY, THE SATURDAY NEWSPAPER of September 21, circulated a few errors: “The good news came few (a few) hours before President Tinubu….”

“…after overrunning three terrorists camps (terrorists’ camps) in the riotous….”

The next four blunders are from a full-page advertisement in one of the Sunday newspapers under review: “I duff (doff—or ‘take off’—preferably) my hart (hat) for (to) a brother that is more of value than gold.”

“Your deligence (diligence) in business is wonderful….”

“Many residents of the state have agreed to endure in order to enjoy a safe and secured (secure) tomorrow.”

“Some parts of Maiduguri was (were) no go area (no-go areas) to any sane mind as people are (were) picked up for slaughter. The laws operating in those areas were different from any other parts (part) of the state (or other parts of the state).”

Finally from THISDAY COVER under review: “….the deployment of more troops to (in) states was belated.”

 THE NATION ON SUNDAY of May 26 displayed slothfulness and crankiness: “To stem this abuse by some judges, the CJN said that he has (had) directed that before any judge can (could) travel abroad, he or she (sic) must obtain permission from the head judge.” My comment: instead of ‘he or she,’ use ‘they’—which is the acceptable form.

Still on last week’s edition of this medium: “…Wike opened up on the crisis in Rivers State and his grouse with (about) his successor….”

“If we have problems, probably there might be one reason or the other (one reason or another) the governor is not happy.”

“As two-time Governor of Lagos, you shone like star (a star).”

“To their dubious chicanery, your voice resonate (resonates) distinctly….” Also note that the last word in the extract is otiose! (This and the preceding blunder are from a full-page congratulatory advertorial by His Excellency….)

“Ecobank toll free (toll-free) number…The Pan African Bank” (Full-page advertisement)

THE NATION ON SUNDAY of September 1 started the month on a faulty note all through most of the pages: “Bride or masquerade?” The mask/effigy/masquerade is the object worn by a masquerader. Therefore: bride or masquerader?

“Bamanga calls Atiku, others treacherous” This is impossible because ‘treacherous’ is an adjective. The man called them traitors.

“Soludo assures support for construction of Nnewi mall” How can the governor assure support? The governor did not assure ‘support’—he either elicited support or gave an assurance of support to some people.”

 “I wish you the protection of Almighty God and all your heart desires.” Get it right: heart’s desire (take note of the apostrophe and ‘desire’—not ‘desires’)!

“I and my family (My family and I—that is, if at all there should be separation since ‘I’ is a constituent of the ‘family) feel proud to celebrate a genuine Nigerian patriot….” 

“We are all living witnesses to Yar’Adua Part 1” I am a witness, not a ‘living or dead’ witness!

Still on THE SUNDAY NATION under review: “The meeting of the Patriots with President Bola Tinubu in Abuja, few days (a few days) to this week’s National Political Summit in Uyo….”

“Copy her two colour (two-colour) look”

Saturday PUNCH of September 21 goofed: “I won four golds as a nursing mother…” ‘The most widely-read newspaper’: four gold medals

Daily Trust of August 29 ends the race with just two infractions: “The privilege (privileged) class has taken over virtually everything….”

“…power show in the country is choking the common man on the street….” My own view: the man/woman in the street (also the man/woman on the street) ‘Commonness’ is implied!