LoudWhisper with JOSEPH EDGAR

Good Riddance for Danladi Umar

There is no other way to write this but just straight to the point. The announcement that the Senate has stepped in and gotten rid of this person has given not only me but the whole country a huge sense of relief. Mbok, the man was everywhere. We remember the role he played during the Justice Walter Onnoghen saga in which a just and upright man was disgraced out of office on the platform of the CCT that this person had turned under Buhari into a caricature.

As if that was not enough, the next thing is seeing him fighting in the open market and bringing public ridicule and opium upon himself and his office.

Rightly, the Senate through its leader Senator Opeyemi moved in and had about 84 senators invoke a clause to kick this “irritant” into the gutter with the admonishment that never again should Nigerians be saddled with this kind “yeye” official.

For me, when you weaken institutions, people like this slip through the cracks and emerge in positions of influence and power and then use that to unleash mayhem on Nigerians. I really do thank the Senate for behaving seriously out of character on this one. They have done right which is making me want to ask them, “wetin happen this time” because this our Senate under this dispensation “na one kind o.”

I really do hope that this would mark a great sign of better things to come from them. This was a masterstroke and they should not even leave it at that but should push for prosecution of this individual if there is any cause so as to serve as a deterrent to others like him. Thank you. 

Abiodun Shobanjo: Palpable Excitement

I must remain very grateful to those who have given me the opportunity to write this column o. You will soon know why. As a young jobless boy in Lagos, I had two people I used to look up to – Prince Nduka Obaigbena and Mr. Biodun Shobanjo and the reason was simple: bowties.

These two used to adorn bowties and looked very regal in them. So, when I started work in a little advertising agency wanting to be like Mr. Shobanjo, I would go to Yaba and buy an “okrika” bowtie. I would wear it so proudly that for a moment, I felt I was Mr. Shobanjo.

These two without knowing, sculpted my growth trajectory in both media and advertising. Because of them, I went into both spaces with alarming failure. I have failed in almost everything I have put my hands on in both media and advertising but it still did not and has not dampened my enthusiasm about my love for both men.

I have a picture of Mr. Obaigbena hanging on the wall of my bedroom. I took a picture with him during Covid. He had the mask on and did not know that I had taken the picture.

Now for Mr. Shobanjo, I have never met. I only read about him, see him from afar and have my brother Mudi talk glowingly about him. The closest I came to meeting with him was going to see my brother Bolaji Okusaga who was running Quadrant for him at the time but Bolaji carry me go eat afang making me miss the opportunity.

So, you can imagine my excitement when my sister Tosh Adefeko showed me a letter written by the legendary Biodun Shobanjo stating that he reads this column and that he was ready to “show” me pepper during the upcoming interview on my podcast.

Mbok, I screamed o, ran out of the toilet and called Duchess. Finally, I not only get to meet one of the most iconic Nigerians ever but get to sit with him for 45 minutes to talk to him o.

If you guys don’t know Shobanjo and his contributions to marketing communications, PR and advertising, then I cannot help you. This is the man ooooo. My God this is the man and I get to meet him finally 40 years after I came to Lagos.I cannot wait. I have bought the shirt and shorts I will wear, complete with white socks and I will hold my “okrika” bowtie for hand and ask him to sign an autograph for me o. Mbok, see Ibibio man in Lagos making waves, Kai.

President Bola Tinubu and His Babel of Spokesmen

I have seen a list and I counted about 14 spokesmen with convoluting and confusing nomenclature. The whole thing is complex and worse than confusing, and the sad thing is that they are all on payroll, complete with official benefits.

Then you now add the ego that comes with the whole thing and all you get is a confusion worse than the biblical tower of Babel.

Mbok, Obong Tinubu, what exactly do we need 14 of these people for? This is bigger than just looking for a job for the boys na. They simply are just running into each other’s feet, catfighting like market women and not really pushing the job which is to sell the President’s image.

Obong Tinubu, let me tell you very clearly that you have the worst public image of a sitting President since Abacha and this can be traced directly to these “little” men that are representing you.

In that your team, you have Tunde Rahman who has the depth, calmness and maturity to build a beautiful image for the presidency but we don’t get to see or hear of him much but na all these Kikuyu soldiers dem Bayo dem and now this Bwala Iscariot that we are seeing and hearing all over the place throwing up a chaotic image for the Presidency.

This whole thing is making us miss great presidential spokesmen like Duro Onabule, even Chukwumerije and the great Dr. Reuben Abati who ensured cohesion, professional funnelling of information and a stout defence of governmental policy. Mbok, Obong Tinubu let’s just have one, abeg, the rest can be farmed out as sole administrators to various farmlands and regions shebi it’s looking like we are in a monarchy abi?  

A Daniel Bwala  in the Lions’ den 

Dressed like a Kenyan Kikuyu farmer, he strolled onto the dais and announced himself something. I just dey look with consternation, asking myself what is even wrong with him? He cannot calm down and behave like my brother Seyi Law who after being appointed Special Adviser to the Governor for something has been running around Ondo State like he is the founding father.

He sat very comfortably and spoke like he had just won the presidential elections. Na common appointment o, yeye appointment sef. All 14 of them o and he was just one of the 14 and immediately, he assumed authority.

Mbok, not a few minutes later, they poured him cold water. As he was about to remove his drenched clothes, they poured him another round of smelly fish water and as he was spitting out the water, they slapped him. He did not see the slap which blinded him and led him to the backwater of spokesmen.

A non-principled man is like this Daniel. His public utterances have kept him within the backwaters of Nigerian public space. His shamefaced U-turns on policies, issues and allegiances made him a prime character for a regime struggling for acceptance, but alas a crocodile is a crocodile and before you knew it, he wanted to take over and his coup failed.

Me just dey laugh for here. This Daniel no be the biblical Daniel that tamed the lions o, this one will want to eat them if they give him the slightest opportunity. Well, wetin concern us, is it our government?

A Little Prayer for Davido

This genius has just announced that he would be donating about N300million to orphanages to mark his birthday. This is not the first time he would be doing something this magnanimous to the underprivileged as he continues to be that one artist whose love for humanity continues to resonate.

At my age, I should not be really “famzing” over the chewing gum generation with their idol, but there is something about this particular artist that resonates with me.

Many weekends I find myself scouring through his videos, documentaries, and features on him and I must confess, he is the only one that I am following on Instagram.

I continue to marvel at the way he handles his fame, his longevity as an artist being another source of attraction and his love for tradition as you see him bow to his parents and elders, then his approach to his civic duties – elections in Osun, front row in the firsts protests which led him to a meeting with the IG of Police amongst others.

Davido continues to interest not only me but also millions of Nigerians which makes us watch and pray for him as we begin to see his dainty efforts at transitioning in his music career away from teenager-driven tunes to a much more mature ensemble as can be seen with his collaborations with such beautiful dated wines like Angelique Kidjo.

Happy birthday Aburo and may God grant you a long life and continued prosperity. Please don’t forget orphanages in Shomolu o. Thank you.

Bello Fadile: A Tragic ‘Coup Plotter’

I must confess that like many Nigerians, who sorely believed that the 1995 coup was a phantom, do now owe General Abacha some modicum of an apology.

He had rounded up many prominent Nigerians including this Col Fadile and accused them of plotting to overthrow his government. This action elicited a lot of hue and cry from the public because it was said to be a phantom as at that time, there was no real evidence of a plot.

Chief Obasanjo lost his freedom, Musa Yar’Adua lost his life and others like Beko Ransom Kuti and Chris Anyanwu paid very dearly for their involvement or otherwise.

Now, I have just seen a review of the book written by his publishers that says that indeed there was a coup. This Fadile has finally come out to say that indeed there was a plot and although the review that I have read did not state the involvement or otherwise of the aforementioned “heroes” of democracy, it as a matter of fact mentioned that the Holy Mary according to the author did not allow the soldiers to see his “coup speech” despite three attempts at it.

Mbok, today is a sad day for democracy and Nigerians. So, all of these years we abused and railed Abacha even though that one get “him own” and that is why it was easy to sell the narrative of the phantom coup, so na true.

Hiding under the canopy of restoring democracy by planning a coup is a thinly veiled lie that Fadile’s superiors had used in the past and we saw what came out of it. Na the same restoring democracy bring IBB, na him bring Abacha sef and we all saw what they restored.

This Fadile is a “wicked” man o. He kept quiet all of these years only to come and write one yeye book and confess. He is lucky that we are in a democracy because if this were a military regime, he would see a personalised decree backdated now now, and his family would be running to a white garment church for a miracle.

What this means is that we all have to be very careful about how we jump on issues, especially issues like this.

Mbok, where can I get the book – Nine Lives- I need to read it end to end so that I can take my time and finish this Fadile person, a tragic “Coup Plotter.” Kai, so there was a coup. Fear this life o.  

 General Femi Oluyede: Zombies Everywhere

My brother, should I say congratulations on your new appointment or should I just keep quiet on that part considering the sad circumstances that led to your emergence? But let me first send in my condolences on the passing of your immediate predecessor as I hear that he was a fine soldier and a gentleman.

Anyway, my brother, I am sure you have seen the video of your colleague General showing power on the main road. I know you have seen it because I have seen a report issued by your PR people saying that an investigation has been ordered on the matter.

A whole two-star General? This one is “bolekaja” General o. Why would he allegedly be involved in something like this no matter how badly he was triggered? Why? This shows a lot about the institution that you head. It is very sad that after the over 100 years of life of the Nigerian Army and despite the gallant men and officers including my great townsman 001 who was the very first Nigerian to be enlisted into the Army that have passed through, we still get to see these things happening.

My plea, my dear General, is to go beyond the investigation and put in place clear terms of engagement between your men and civil society abeg. The wahala is too much. Soldiers will be walking on the main road, with their chest out and fists clenched just looking for who to beat. The stories are everywhere and now Generals have joined in fighting on the streets and bullying people up and down.

Mbok, they should carry their frustration and go and fight the Lion in UI zoo and leave hapless Nigerians alone. The beating we are getting from the agbado economy is enough for us to come and add “unknown soldier” to the matter.

What is it na? Even me, though I have been threatened by one even that one na navy general, me I kuku trust myself, I gave him the abuse of his life, threatening me with Naval ratings armed to the teeth over alumni election.

My mama fight civil war, I grow up near barracks, and I go command secondary school so you cannot use soldiers and threaten me. But then again, those of us who are just innocent and harmless like this young man beaten up and arrested simply because he overtake Oga as reported nko? This was just too much abeg, especially for an Army that has its work cut out for it in the South-east and North-west.

By the way, one man has sent a video threatening to destroy Nnewi if they bury Senator Uba there. Can you kindly send this Major General and his boys after that man, because he be like say this your General no too busy as he dey fight for main road? Msheww.

MC Oluomo: A Pitbull and the 2027 Elections

I have always known that this man will never agree to the Appeal Court judgement. Which judgement in this jungle that we have found ourselves? The report is out that my paddy has ignored the judgement and hunkered down on the seat. If anybody thinks that this fight is about NURTW, then hunger must have scattered his senses I swear. This fight in my head is about the 2027 elections, simple, and my brother will certainly be mad to just walk away from such a sensitive and all-pervading structure because of one “yeye” judgement.

The whole thing is just unfolding, grab your popcorn and watch. You will have fun. Thank you.

Nonny Ugboma: A Quick Shout Out.

Mbok, let me quickly just holla my sister and good friend, Nonny Ugboma, the former Executive Secretary of the huge MTN Foundation. Nonny who left to go pursue a PhD has come back to town and has quickly jumped into the thick of things. I hear she is on some kind of national assignment in Abuja and I really do wish her well. Well done my sister and let’s catch up soon.