Allen Onyema: Another Strong ‘Peace’ Advice

I have to be very careful with this piece because the last time one “yellow” girl advised one “Igbo” businessman on his tomatoes, she ended up being abducted.

Since I really do not have plans to start the new year in a refugee camp, I should keep quiet abi? But how do you keep quiet when you witness hundreds of stranded passengers in Lagos, swearing never to “enter this plane again as long as I live,” and you land in Uyo and meet a different set of people making the same swear.

Pity will enter the matter na. It is that pity that is making me take this risk of trying to advise my brother.

Bro, can you slow down on the self-promotion, that one that you are wearing jacket like Flavour and be walking on TV in front of some very beautiful girls, and settle down and look at this your airline because it is no longer peaceful. People are calling it ‘Air Headache,’ I swear.

Let me share my experience. I was due for Arochukwu for my new play on December 27, 2024 with a 50-minute flight and one hour road journey from Uyo to Arochukwu. Shebi I am supposed to take off on the same day of the event, but knowing what I know, I decided to start the journey a day earlier. My people na 24 hours I use reach Arochukwu o.

First, the 1pm flight was shifted backwards to 7am, from 7am we were pushed to 10,45am, then pushed again to say 12 noon and finally airlifted straight to Calabar. Wait o, inside the plane, one boy with dreadlock sat on my seat, as I made to slap him another man came to claim the same seat.

So the three of us on the same seat. The air hostess now told us that since we are going to multiple destinations, seating is open. Na lie ooo, we have flown many multiple destinations and it is never like this.

Anyways, we got to Uyo via Calabar at around 3pm since 7am o. I just checked into Monty Suite to eat their fresh bowl of Afang before this Baba carry him big head come and frustrate me because he dey run airline.

On my way back, my flight was 5pm but as I woke up to pee at night, I saw they had shifted it forward to 10.30. I said no problem. I got to the airport, me and Super Eagles o and Ibom Air were taking off like breeze, e come be like say na only their passengers vote Tinubu. In frustration, I bought a one-way Ibom back to Lagos for 1.30pm.

That was how Ibom Air of 1.30pm took off at the same time with Air wahala of 10.30pm at 1.30pm.

You see this thing this ogbeni is playing with is serious o – people’s plans, health and jobs. The mental trauma, the sufferings, the disappointments, the many hours lost, the jobs lost, all because one man is running a huge international airline like he was running a chemist at Abiodun Bus Stop in Shomolu. This is not even fair to him, talk less of the country’s image as international travellers are missing connecting flights and all of that.

Please my brother, even if the system is failing in their duties of regulating you, you yourself take pity on your own investments and do something o before it is too late.

Please don’t come and abduct me o, it is the love I have for you that is making me shout, others are just quietly going elsewhere and leaving you alone. Allen, do something pleasssssseee.