Loud Whispers with JOSEPH EDGAR

Justice Kekere-Ekun: How are You Mummy?

 I have a huge and tremendous respect for mummy. As you all know, she is the sweet wife of the eternally-respectable former banker and highly-admired elder statesman, Mr. Kekere–Ekun, who I do not joke with.

It is as a result of this that I have really refrained from commenting or saying anything as things continue to go “one kind” with our judiciary.

Another reason why I have pulled back is the fact that I really do not understand how the system works, what stops at her table and what does not. As I don’t want to look illiterate, I keep quiet.

But the boil is now turning to cancer, I must now shout. As mummy is the most visible amongst the possible leaders of the space, I come for her.

My dear Justice Kekere-Ekun, like I have said, I do not know which one is your own or which one that is not your own but the fact that the judiciary is facing an all time low popularity, stymied in a hugely scary lack of confidence by the general public makes one to be more than worried.

When the judicial levers collapse in the way it is looking, then we are facing anarchy. I tell you, it is so bad that nobody is even interested in going through the tedious process of seeking judicial intervention and have decided to girdle things in their own way. Those who are still civilised will set up community committees to adjudicate, others face babalawos’ and juju, others jungle justice  while the vast majority just remain silent all because justice is now a very strange word in our lexicon.

The tediousness of the judicial system coupled with its colourful outcomes have made us all now begin to resort to self help instead of throwing yourself into the labyrinth that is your judiciary with unsure outcomes.

Are we going to wait for the public to start stoning judges and pouring them pure water? Did you see my brother Mike Asuqo’s cartoon where the judiciary was epitomised by your face firmly in the pockets of one big politician.

My dear mummy, I know of you as being a strict and principled champion of legal rights, can you kindly firm up and do something or better still, if it’s too much, just resign and go so that your reputation and legacy doesn’t get browned.

I really am picking my words for obvious reasons but I write with a heavy heart. It’s all so sad, the judiciary seems to be gone with the wind. Sad.

Is Natasha Akpoti–Uduaghan Going, Going, Gone?

This is classic. You have a problem; you go to the source. We have just seen a report from INEC that they have received the petition for her recall. Initially, they claimed that the petition was not well documented but later reported that everything is intact now so the process will continue.

This is strategy at play and must be commended. But that said, let me state it here very clearly that Senator Akpabio has lost me now.

When this whole thing started, I was with Senator Natasha and then when she pulled in the sexual karassment kini, she lost me and now that the issue of the recall has come on board, Akpabio has lost me.

Going for her recall clearly justifies her position that she is being silenced. She has made her position very clear, the Senate Committee on Ethics is sitting, cases are in various courts and suddenly a case of recall is on the table and championed by people who have dotted lines to her persecutors.

My advice to the fair lady is to also look for a way to trigger the same treatment for Akpabio if she has the muscle. This would be tough sha, since the man is looking like a goliath, especially in that his senatorial district where the women have been recorded to run around with one wrapper screaming that he is the messiah.

With the way Nigeria is, the recall of this obviously inexperienced lady is very inevitable and even though I am pitying her, I must say that she brought this on to herself trying to weaponise feminism with a sexual harassment that has come without any iota of evidence.

While pitying her, let me even say that her cheerleaders, like the one they have called smelly mouth, are the real culprits. They goad, push and provoke women like Natasha instead of sitting them down and giving them constructive advice.

Senator Ita-Giwa made some sense but was shouted down, today womanhood has been totally derided all on the table of an inconsistent and woeful projection of its might.

Real women should now stand up and fight for Nigeria and throw up better role models away from these pancake and “smelly mouth” activists who really have nothing to offer but a meaningless push that achieves nothing. Thank you.

Atiku Abubakar: Akpabio on His Mind

The former Vice President has “killed” the Senate President – oh he is very corrupt and a known abuser of women, he lamented in a recent interview.

Mbok, this Akpabio sef get mind oo. All these on him and he is still there, carrying gavel with a smiling face and in his very deep Akwa Ibom accent still presiding.

The days of honourable men have long gone. They are all dead and gone. Not one honourable man in power- yes, I have said it, come and beat me.

Honourable men now just sit in their terraces reminiscing past glory days when they ruled the roost.

Mbok, would a man like Akpabio be elected into the local council as a clerk in the 60s or even the 80s?

Reputation is no longer a currency in Nigeria, for if it was, would we even be contending with a personality that is so tainted?

As an Akwa Ibom man, I refuse to be ashamed because I had shouted at inception that although this was the highest, we as a people have ever reached in public office, we threw up the ”wrongest” of personalities to represent us.

Even if all these allegations come to naught, the reputation is gone, legacy wiped out and when the history of this epoch will be written, it will be seared with two words – corruption and sexual harassment.

Everywhere you go – ohhh I slapped him. You turn the other corner – he held my hands and whispered into my ears.  The next corner – he has a doctor where he tests them for HIV before bedding – all sorts of stories both real and fake.

These are just some and countless more in the rumour mills that one cannot mention here.

Self-control is a virtue that we men must learn. Nigerian women are some of the most beautiful and alluring in the world and people like me have suffered in their hands because of the relative weakness we have when it comes to their matter. But at the level that Akpabio is operating, he cannot afford to be showing these alleged weaknesses to the extent that in every discussion about him, it’s his zippers instead of his contribution to national development that is the order of the day.

Mbok, ndito Akwa Ibom, nko ini akem se ikpi dakada  etang iko me ete mi.

I am sorry I had to enter my native tongue, the shame is too much, so I had to send a secret message to our people to do something. Akwa Ibomites are today covered in the foul smell of hubris. Really sad.

Cecilia Ibru: Nursery Rhymes in a Book

Aghhhhhh!!! That was my first reaction when I saw the report in the book. The big mummy of banking has written a book o. Her experience from hospital to prison. You see, na Obasanjo start this matter and IBB took it to another level, pulling in billions. And now mummy banker has bucked the trend and released a book.

Snippets that I have seen didn’t disappoint me. What I read was just an ode to the emotions; a push towards currying public pity in a strenuous attempt to rewrite history.

Oh, she was having serious chest pains, her heart was beating irregularly and she had just landed in Abuja and her hand was shaking and she called her doctor who asked her to come back immediately to Lagos and she was rushed to the hospital to meet the great Dr. Ajuluchukwu who happens to be my in-law, and when the reports came in, the doctor screamed and the diagnosis was – heartbrokenness.

You know how Nigerians like to do follow follow. Before you know it, you will start to be seeing books everywhere. Obasa, Wike and even the traffic warden at Falomo will all write their books and embellish it with all sorts to make a compelling reading.

Shebi we have been lamenting that our reading culture is poor. Well, all these will reverse that. My own suggestion is that all these books from these kinds of authors should be made compulsory reading in our prisons, it will go a long way to “reform” them. Mbok, make una let me rest abeg.

Pastor Femi Lazarus: Stirring the Hornet’s Nest

The controversy has been burning- the fight between the pastors and the gospel singers. The partners in “crime” have been at each other’s throats. The pastors say that the gospel singers are offending by charging so much, and the gospel singers on their part are saying – no, we deserve to be paid and like you, will not wait till heaven to get our rewards. We too want to drive a Rolls Royce.

The matter got to a crescendo when the above mentioned pastor released an invoice from a gospel artist asking for N15m as fee amongst other luxuries to come and pour sweat and spit on the congregation.

In retaliation, great singer, Timi Dakolo, weighed in by also exposing the great man of God who charged a “low” $150 per person to teach bible.

While the fire was going on, people like me were throwing in petrol. I weighed in – mbok if you people can buy N1.7billion car for you eternal GO and be living a hedonistic lifestyle that would make the richest of pop stars green with envy, mbok what is a paltry N15million to pay the one that will rehearse, pay session men, rent equipment, buy costumes and jump up and down over night in their funny crusades?

For my effort, I was severely abused, warned and threatened – Edgar touch not the anointed- that is what they always tell me and I will reply, “I never see the anointed yet o. When I see am, I will not touch, for now, if you bring any of them near me, na slap.”

Timi and his brother Femi later reconciled – their business. The issue on the ground is still hot – where is all the money coming from and what kind of accountability can we put in place and who regulates this sector because my brother na major sector of the economy. LIRS, FIRS, where are you?

As I write, Duchess has gone for a five-day crusade, meaning that no other room activity and the House of Representatives wants to ban porn. So you see my frustration.

 Lanre Alfred: An Amazing Outing

The invite read South-west games and I became immediately excited. Sports were a part of our growing up years in Lagos. Football, boxing, and table tennis were the main thing. We thronged the national stadium and the boxing rings at the Army Sports Camp in Shomolu to watch games.

In my youth, I watched Bash Ali, Okorodudu and the Mobil classics with a penchant. Today all that is gone.

So, when I saw the invite, I said I would attend and then I saw the name – Lanre Alfred.

Lanre is an iconic journalist, an arrowhead in the soft sell genre. Lanre with the gods – Dele Momodu, FAJ and Mayor Akinpelu really triggered my interest in media, especially  Lanre who I had followed from City People to THISDAY and then to his online platform, positioning him very firmly in the pantheons of the great.

I rushed to the Onikan Stadium opening event very late as per Lagos wahala but the rushes of the opening ceremony that I later watched showed that it was indeed a magnificent outing.

The contingents filed out in dazzling colours, the entire stage holding the mercurial Saheed Osupa with the hugely engaging Gbenga Adeyinka holding sway.

I saw my brother Lekan Fatudo, the Lagos State Sports Chairman. Lekan has been working some miracles since he emerged. His partnership with Yemi Edun berthing the table tennis classics and now this South-west games? All coming from leaders who are less than 50 years in age shows that there is truly hope.

Well done Lanre and his team.

Chike Ogeah is Still Standing

It has been one year since the passing of the elegant Funke Ogeah. Funke is Ogbuefi Chike Ogeah’s late wife and to mark the solemn occasion, Chike held a very private and quiet service in her honour at the well-apportioned Ebony Vaults where I also buried my wife, Mena Joseph Edgar.

As expected, a very elegant audience appeared. I saw Babatunde Fashola, the former Governor of Lagos, Pastor Ituah Ighodalo, Olumide Akpata and that pastor that they  “drove out” from Redeemed Church and a rich crowd of Ikeja GRA people.

Funke was a sweet lady and her passing touched a raw nerve amongst the people who knew and loved her.

As the ceremony was ebbing, I seized the opportunity to go visit Mena’s grave. It was still very beautiful and the flowers had withered. I stood there for a second and had some nice conversations with her and then turned and walked away with small tears in my eyes.

Not easy sha.

Adegbulugbe Hits 70

The Chancellor of Joseph Ayo Babalola University, Arakeji in Osun State, Professor Anthony Adegbulugbe, will be 70 on Wednesday, April 2. The shy academician is the first son of his parents – Evangelist Victoria Adegbulugbe and Pa Adegbulugbe who were major pillars of Christ Apostolic Church in the old Western Region of Nigeria. He too is a major pillar in the Christ Apostolic Church in the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja.

Professor  Adegbulugbe graduated with a B.Sc in electrical engineering from the University of Ife, (now Obafemi Awolowo University) in 1976 with a First Class and Grade Point Average (GPA) of 5.0 on a scale of 5.0. He furthered his education at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where he earned a D.Sc. in nuclear materials engineering with a minor program in energy planning and management in June 1981.

Throughout his career, Professor Adegbulugbe has been actively involved in shaping energy policies and plans for Nigeria. He played a crucial role in designing the Energy Master Plan for Nigeria. Professor Adegbulugbe’s professional history includes a range of positions and projects. Adegbulugbe has also been involved in consultancy projects, including the Renewable Energy Masterplan for Nigeria and the evaluation of energy infrastructural needs and the role of the private sector in the oil, gas, and power sectors.

He is a member of prestigious professional bodies, including the Nigerian Society of Engineers (NSE), Knowledge Networks for Sustainable Energy in Africa (KNSEA), the International Association of Energy Economists (IAEE), and the Africa Energy Policy Research Network (AFREPREN).

He is the Chairman and Chief Executive of Green Energy International Limited, an indigenous energy company in Nigeria that provides oil and gas for the domestic market and supports local host communities.

Professor Adegbulugbe is married to an equally shy Afolake, first daughter of Professor John Omoniyi Abiri (June 9, 1937- April 17, 2024), the Obapero of Abiri Kingdom in Ile-Ife in Osun State.